F Factor Preview

The Greatest Show in Town
As October comes to an end and all on field activities come to an end, it’s now time for our various teams within the club to provide us with entertainment of a different kind…….that’s right – F Factor is back!! The club’s favourite social event of the year is into it’s third year, with the F Factor Committee already moving to see who will be representing the club teams in our all-singing, all dancing entertainment show! Certainly at the club, we think our event is of the highest standard and it packs our clubrooms out every night that it is on! Everyone in the Community is hoping that this year’s competition will be bigger and better than ever. HOWEVER, I have my doubts about this due to lack of enthusiasm at this stage – I hope I am proved wrong!!

The idea is that we will get twelve teams, six in each semi final. The six teams will sing and four from each semi final will go through to the final – we will detail how these will be decided nearer the time. The two semi finals are on 14 and 28 November 2009 with the final sticking to its slot on the Saturday before Christmas, 19 December 2009. So to anyone thinking of having their Christmas do on this night – think again!

So to the acts – we’ll start with our Senior Hurling team who have provided us with success on the field. Can they reclaim the title held by the Harlem Hurlers in our first year of F Factor? We are hoping that they can provide us with three teams this year. First group up are the Gypsy Tones, who wowed us last year with their Status Quo renditions. What have Cairnsy and the boys got in store for us this year? They certainly surprised us with the change of scenery from Irish Music to rockin’ Quo last year. They were unlucky not to win last year and would be certainly among the favourites before the start of the competition when nobody has yet revealed their hand! Apparently they reckon they can retire after this year and open a used lingerie store with all the missiles directed at them during their previous performances.

Apparently Conzo and the boys feel that they were misunderstood last year and are willing to give it another crack this year to show us the talent that they truly do possess. Song choice certainly had something to do with their shock early exit, as the ‘Worst Song in the World’ proved to be one of the worst ideas in living memory. However, the guys certainly entertained the Green Room while strumming away on the guitars warming. Word has it they have a local celebrity look-a-like to front them this year as they take a turn back to proper 70s 80s rock! Could this be Northern Ireland’s next Flash Harry (literally!)?

The word on the Street is that the Harlem Hurlers have become disillusioned with the celebrity life, turned back to street crime, murder and drugs and will not be performing this year (I hope I am wrong!). Turbo is married and the wife won’t let him take part in it any more. Daniel Steele was shot four times in a raid on Sean Keenan’s house in a local gang feud and may not be fit to take part. Stevie Goo has been in the recording studio for the last two months working on some new material…….will he have the band to back him up? Last year the guys were slated for their lack of originality changing from rap to rave, even though the spectacle of their entry was probably the best in the history of the competition. My advice to the lads would be to make sure you have something with vocals in it lads! We certainly need you in the competition for entertainment value!

The Senior Ladies have confirmed the entry of two teams this year. Sugar ‘n Spice are still going strong and have told me they are working on a new routine that will take our breath away. We know they can dance as was proved in both semi final and final last year – can they come up with the vocals to go with it? Skimpy costumes will be on show no doubt!!!

The second team will be made up of the trio of Nina, Lissa and Kitty. Certainly we know Nina can sing, but can the girls come up with an act to entertain as well as provide good sounds! Let’s face it, Weaver and HT were the singers of the winning group last year! I predict a good showing from both girls teams this year and wouldn’t it be great to see two girls teams in the final?

Next up are the thirds footballers, Black Magic last year and supported by Ian Paisley in the final. I have never seen a group get the crowd going like they did for the last act last year! In a non-corrupt Arena where people didn’t buy themselves votes and get forty tickets for family members as opposed to the 2 you were supposed to get, they would certainly have pushed a lot closer than they did in the actual result! The only group to have been booked outside the F Factor for a gig (Alice Anderson’s birthday party) they will no doubt be thoroughly entertaining as usual, especially with the wired up ideas of lead singer Waster and dancer (definitely no vocals!) Danny Cassidy who would do anything up on that stage (and I mean anything!).

Another team I thought were desperately unlucky last year were the Dung Beatles who were thoroughly entertaining on both nights they performed. From their Beatles medley in the first to their brilliant performance as Kiss, both visually and acoustically they were brilliant. They were handicapped by the fact that they had to perform first on both nights yet they still proved a hit with the crowd. Now sponsored by Maginns Bar (I’m serious!) they have promised me that they are on another level. Decky Fitz, Tintin, Keowny and lead singer Ogie will not fail to deliver, I promise you!

The first Committee Team to return is the Beach Bums. Comic value may well be down this year as Tony ‘the Chicken’ McAtamney has legged it to London. We may have two additional group members, although the names will remain under wraps at the min (as if you couldn’t guess!). I had to tell Ronan that for our entry performance we couldn’t fit Monster Trucks through the front doors and to come back with something realistic. Someone is goin to have an accident with one of his ideas! Hoping to make it to the final, but nothing easy about that!

Our Senior Footballers have proposed to put in 2 teams this year. The younger team will be made up of the trio of Duff, Cahal and Brogie. Cahal has promised me that they will put on a great show if things go according to plan. With the two dancing back up singers backing up lead singer Duff it’ll certainly be something not to miss! Watch this space! The older lads in the team, not wanting the younger boys to outshine them, will also put in a team, led by Finty and Shay Flanagan and eye candy Stevie Trainor (let’s face it with the other two there wasn’t much competition!). Finty and Shay have discussed some ideas with me and I am actually quite impressed with these. They say they’re not worried about which of the senior football teams is best, they’re gunning for the title! A few pessimists have told me not to rely on the senior footballers as they’ll let me down and not show up. However, I have faith in the lads that they will show and also put on good performances for us.

Our other Committee team has lost their lead singer Barney as he’s not on the Committee any more (yes that’s the only reason!), so Finty McGreevy Sr and Seamus Owens are in a dilemma (Finty’s suspension from the show due to leaked photographs from last years Green Room has been lifted due to Big Kevy destroying the evidence!). Well I have heard names being bandied about, including HT, Weaver and Big Kevan! Finty and Seamus have promised to put their all into the competition again this year and I can vouch for them that they will and they’ll sing away! They just need a guiding light.

Last year’s winners Hell’s Kitchen – what about them? HT is still mad keen to get up and wow the ladies again this year. However, his co-singer Weaver has told everyone that he will not be singing this year. That’s some example for the club chairman to set! Their manager Snowy has reportedly fallen out with the band due to Charlie Harper’s rants on a Thursday night. Apparently the wee Frankie mouth makes Liam Gallagher look like a choirboy! Dessie Devlin is keen enough, but we are yet to find out whether last years winners have the balls to defend their title!

Not only did we have drama with our teams, our judges have not been confirmed. Both Josie and PJ have threatened to pull out, though Josie has since admitted the power it gives her is like a drug and she can’t get enough of it. PJ is still in talks with F Factor producers, but we are confident that this will be resolved in time for the first semi final. We are also rumoured to be having a guest judge on each night, although this is to be confirmed. And in a measure to help to reduce the effect of people buying the vote we have given the judges a little more power come final night, although they will not have the final say!

F Factor hosts will again be Kevin ‘I don’t need a mike’ Sweeney and the legend that is Rory McCabe, without whom the night would not run as smoothly! And how could I forget about the provider of our tunes on the night, without him it certainly wouldn’t be run as well, our very own DJ Magiggs! Fair play to him for doing it for free this year! Just don’t let Big Kevan press play for you! I hope that this year’s entertainment proves as good as last years; I know if it does there’ll be a lot of satisfied customers leaving the club! Any ideas about anything to do with the F Factor we are happy to listen to, please put up on forum or contact any one of the F Factor Committee member directly – Kevin Sweeney, Cillian Keaveney, Rory McCabe, Oliver Doyle, Harry Toner.

Up the Town!

An Cisteoir