Sarsfields Newsletter

November 8, 2018

THE SASH Friday October 1st 2010


The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.     


Super Smithy does the business for Sarsfields

By: Brendan Coffey,  Kildare Nationalist


SIX points from Alan Smith propelled Sarsfields to a semi-final date in this year’s championship but the Sash have much to work on ahead of the penultimate stage.

Although Sarsfields didn’t run away with the game as they threatened to do at times, they will be worried about the number of near misses at the back. If Naas had a little luck they would have scored one goal and possibly two.

That they didn’t speaks as much about their lack of conviction. Twice the ball trickled across the face of the goal. Ian Kinlon popped a shot from a narrow angle on the right early in the second half that was deflected wide on the far side but it was far from a clearcut chance.

When Conor Mellett snuck in along the endline later in the half a fisted point was the percentage play – a combination of Gavin Slicker and Sean Campbell deflected his shot wide on the right. Both of the 45s that resulted went wide. For 20 minutes of the second half Naas only scored one point but it wasn’t for the lack of chances.

Two fourth quarter frees from the ever accurate Alan Smith ensured Sarsfields reached the winning post with some degree of comfort.

It was an opening half full of open football and though Sarsfields were the slicker side Naas were still in contention thanks to a strong second quarter that produced five points.Sarsfields were the only show in town for the first 15 minutes and it was the double act of Morgan O’Sullivan and Alan Smith that provided the highlights.Smith was sharp, scoring four points and three from play as he lead the Naas defence a merry dance while O’Sullivan was no less productive at centre-forward, getting three from play and making incisive runs into opposition territory.


Naas were not without their fair share of possession in that period but poor passing gifted their opponents easy turnovers while the Sash defence cut off most avenues to goal by getting plenty of men behind the ball. It was only when Naas started to get the ball moving quicker inside that they started to prosper.


Three frees from Eamonn Callaghan kept them steady but good scores from Joe and Michael Cocoman as well as rampaging wing-back Richie Ormsby steered them to a three point deficit at the break having twice trailed by five at one stage.

They enjoyed some luck too. As early as the fourth minute, when Alan Smith saw his goalbound shot deflected onto the bar and over for a point – only Mick McGrath’s half block preventing a three point addition to the scoreboard.

Early in the second half Conor Tiernan had an even better chance to get a Sarsfields goal but Naas keeper James Cronin stood up well to block his effort. A point from Tiernan gave Sarsfields a five point lead in the 39th minute and they had a six point cushion after Smith converted two more frees.

Tightening up at the back will be a Sash priority ahead of the semis because they still have the firepower up front and the manpower in midfield to win a championship.


Rebels lead football All-Star nominations

Kildare Third with 5 nominations

Cork’s march to their first All-Ireland SFC title since 1990 has been recognised with 11 of the Rebels squad shortlisted for the 2010 GAA Vodafone All-Star Football awards. Conor Counihan’s charges lifted the NFL Division 1 trophy and Sam Maguire Cup in 2010. Last Sunday’s slender win over Down at Croke Park capped off a fine season for the Leesiders. A total of 12 counties have players shortlisted for All-Star awards. Beaten All-Ireland finalists Down have the second highest number with seven nominees, semi-finalists Kildare are third highest with five nominees, and Dublin and Tyrone are next – both with four.

The Rebels have received just under a quarter of the 45 nominations, with at least one Cork player shortlisted for each line on the pitch. Only ten of the players nominated are previous All-Stars. Kerry duo Colm Cooper and Tomás Ó Sé are the most decorated nominees, with five All-Stars each. Indeed, only three members of last year’s All-Stars team are nominated – Cork duo Michael Shields and Graham Canty along with Kerry’s Tomás Ó Sé, who are all in line for awards in defence. None of the 2009 All Star midfield, half-forward line or full-forward line selection are among this year’s nominees. Notably, last year’s Footballer of the Year, Kerry’s Paul Galvin, has also failed to make the shortlist. Of the four provincial champions – all of whom were defeated at All-Ireland quarter-final stage – Tyrone fare the best with four nominees, with Kerry and Meath on three each and Roscommon on two. Beaten Leinster and Connacht finalists Louth and Sligo, respectively, were rewarded for their resurgent seasons with two nominees each, while Munster’s defeated finalists Limerick have one nominee (John Galvin) – one less than last year when they were also beaten provincial finalists.


Goalkeepers –

Alan Quirke (Cork)

Brendan McVeigh (Down)

Pascal McConnell (Tyrone)

Full-backs –

Michael Shields (Cork)

Rory O’Carroll (Dublin)

Peter Kelly (Kildare)

Charlie Harrison (Sligo)

Philip McMahon (Dublin)

Justin McMahon (Tyrone)

Dan Gordon (Down)

John O’Brien (Louth)

Marc Ó Sé (Kerry)

Half-backs –

Paudie Kissane (Cork)

Kevin McKernan (Down)

Philip Jordan (Tyrone)

Emmet Bolton (Kildare)

Tomás Ó Sé (Kerry)

Graham Canty (Cork)

Noel O’Leary (Cork)

Joe McMahon (Tyrone)

Eamon Callaghan (Kildare)

Midfielders –

Aidan Walsh (Cork)

Paddy Keenan (Louth)

Michael Darragh Macauley (Dublin)

John Galvin (Limerick)

Kalum King (Down)

Nicholas Murphy (Cork)

Half-forwards –

Paddy Kelly (Cork)

Daniel Hughes (Down)

Graham Reilly (Meath)

Martin Clarke (Down)

Joe Sheridan (Meath)

John Doyle (Kildare)

Paul Kerrigan (Cork)

Seamus Kenny (Meath)

Cathal Cregg (Roscommon)

Full-forwards –

Daniel Goulding (Cork)

Bernard Brogan (Dublin)

Donie Shine (Roscommon)

Colm Cooper (Kerry)

Donncha O’Connor (Cork)

David Kelly (Sligo)

Benny Coulter (Down)

James Kavanagh (Kildare)

Padraic Joyce (Galway)


Cork – 11

Down – 7

Kildare – 5

Tyrone – 4

Dublin – 4

Kerry – 3

Meath – 3

Roscommon – 2

Sligo – 2

Louth – 2

Galway – 1

Limerick – 1





Annual Night At The Dogs
The Sarsfields Night at the Dogs takes place on Saturday 2nd October.
Adult tickets to include a raffle for €1200 in prizes cost €10 . Children
will be free on the night with pre acquired Sarsfields child tickets . We
are looking for race sponsors at €350 per race to include a full page add in
the programme .
 Please contact Kevin McNulty at 087 2190876 or email Shane Campbell at


Sarsfields Fixtures


SFC Semi Final: Sarsfields V St Laurence’s at 4.30 Sat October 2nd 2010 in St Conleth’s Park.  MFC Semi Final: Sarsfields V Athy Saturday October 2nd at 12.30pm in St Conleths Park. Sunday October 3rd: IHC final: Sarsfields v Broadford 6pm in Ballykelly.


Sarsfields Fixtures
Wednesday 29th September                       Wed
Under 13 Girls Football League                  6.30pm
Sarsfields v Nurney/Kildangan                  Nur/Kil
Friday 1st October                                  Fri
Under 13 Boys Football League                  6pm
Sarsfields v Cuchullan Gaels                  Athgarvan
Saturday 2nd October                              Sat
Under 15 Girls Football League                 11.30am
Sarsfields v Geraldines                     Castlemitchell
Under 9 Boys Football League                  2.30pm
Sarsfields v Celbridge                              Pitch 3
Sarsfields v Kill                                      Kill
Under 11 Boys Football League                  3pm
Sarsfields v Celbridge                             Celbridge
Sarsfields v Cappagh                             Cappagh
 Under 9 Hurling League                          10am
Sarsfields v Sallins                                  Sallins
Under 11 Girls Football League                 11.30 am
Sarsfields v Clane                                  Pitch 3
Under 13 Girls Intercounty Football Blitz    11.30am
Kildare, Dublin & Wexford                    Pitch 2&3


Underage News.


U5 to U7 Hurling coaching – 10.30 to 11.15 / U5 to U10 Football coaching –
11.15 to 12.30 every Saturday

October fixtures

More home fixtures have been arranged in October where we will endeavour to
give all children a game. The Academy football and hurling will continue
being coached on Saturday mornings. Hurling will start at 10.30 sharp
followed by football at 11.15.




Club Membership Discount Scheme


Sarsfields members can avail of a 10% discount when they show their membership cards while shopping at the following businesses that are participants of the Club Membership Discount Card Scheme.

Acupuncture and Sports Therapy – Gerry Loftus 16 lower Eyre Street.

Amazon Beauty Salon, Ballymany Shopping Centre, Newbridge

An Chistin Restaurant, George’s St, Newbridge

Attic Storage, Industrial Estate, Newbridge.

Biodental Dental Laboratory, Middle Eyre Street

Blooms Florist, Henry Street , Newbridger

Champions Sports, Whitewater, Shopping Centre

Chat & Chew , Café Edward St. Newbridge.

Chicken America Restaurant, Edward St Newbridge.

Clarke’s Menswear, Edward St, Newbridge

Cosgorve’s Pharmacy., Edward Sy Newbridge.

Curraghr Race Course.

Ecocraft, Environmental Building, Clongorey, Newbridge.

Edward Harrigans, pub and Restaurant. Main Street.

Enigma Design Homeware & Gifts, Tarmel Centre

Fallons Bar & Café Main Street, Kilcullen

Farrell & Nephew Gift & Bookshop, Main Street, Newbridge.

Fitzsimons Finance, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

Hokey Pokey Café, Charlotte Street, Newbridge.

Jardin Royale , Chinese Restaurant, Main Street, Newbridge

Jean’s Jewellers  & Giftware, Henry Stret.

Joe Kelly Barber, George’s Street.

Kildare Tyres & Batteries, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

LHW Insurances Group, 57/58/George’s Street Dun Laoghaire.

Lilywhite Print, Eyre Street, Newbridge.

Maginn Electrical, Curragh Camp.

Marty’s Cabs, Main Street Newbridge.

Michael Murphy Furniture, Edward Street, Newbridge.

Moores Builders Providers, Cutlery Road.

Newbridge Hire Service, Newbridge Industrial Estate.

Newbridge Van Rental, Newhall, Naas.

Newbridge Nutrition, Eyre Street.

O’Leary Shoes, Dunnes Stores, Newbridge

O’Reilly Pharmacy, Curragh Grange, Newbridge.

Owen Baker, Menswear, Charlotte Street, Newbridge.

Paul’s Riverside Restaurant, Market Square, Kilcullen.

Red Lane Driving Range, Red Lane , Newbridge.

Reflections Boutique, Moorefield Road, Newbridge.

Riozzi’s Take Away, Eyre Street.

Robbie’s Butchers, Highfield, Newbridge.

Sheehy Motors, Newbridge Road, Naas.

Stevenson’s Home Décor, Ballymany Shoppinf Centre, Newbridge.

Swift’s Bar  and Restaurant, Main Street, Newbridge.

Tarmel Laundry & Dry Cleaners, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

The Fabric Library, Kildaara Industrial Estate, Newbridge.

The Good Food Gallery, Carnalway, Kilcullen.

The Kiosk Florists, Main Street, Newbridge.

Tom Malone Butchers, Charlotte Street, Newbridge

Top Twenty, Dunnes Stores Shopping Centre.

WE Fit Tyre & Exhaust Centre, Newbridge Industrial Estate.

Whitewater Café Club, Edward Street, Newbridge.

Whyte Melia Electrical, 882, Piercetown, Newbridge.

Sasrsfields On Facebook

Sarsfields now have 465 Fans on Facebook.

Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields  Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website or by Googling Sarsfields GAA Facebook.


More Stupid Quotes.  



‘You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to
pass a literacy test.’
– George Bush, obviously he failed the literacy test



‘I went up there, and I just went blank. So, I bent down,
licked his hand and went off.’
– Bridget Moynahan, actress, describing her meeting with the


‘I think the fact that you can buy beauty now is a really
good thing.’
– Courtney Love


Okay, everyone, now inhale… and then dehale!’
– Maury Wills, Los Angeles Dodgers captain, leading his
  teammates through warm-up calisthenics


‘Thank you, Brazil’
– Alanis Morissette, singer, to a Prevuian Audience


Odd/Strange/Bizarre Story’s 


BOZEMAN, Montana. – Golfers at a western Montana golf course
faced a hazard with real teeth, and claws, when a mountain
lion decided to play through. Golfers said they spotted the
elusive predator while teeing off at Valley View Golf Club
Friday morning in Bozeman.

Bozeman animal control officer Kathy Middleton said the lion
was first sighted near Aspen Pointe senior living center
before other callers later saw it at the golf course.

Joe Knarr with Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife and
Parks said the agency has been receiving calls about lions
all through the south of town. He said mountain lions
sightings are common in the area, though there have been
more reports this year than previous years.

Middleton said the lion spotted Friday most likely was just
passing through.




True Story


Cat Uses One of Nine Lives

Emmy, the cat, was forced to lick condensation off windows to survive after being accidentally locked in a garden shed for more than two months. The cat’s owner thought she had died after spending weeks looking for her in the UK town of Torquay, in Devon, UK.

The 10-year-old feline instead spent nine weeks licking the moist windows of the garden shed that she had hidden in before her owner finally found her.

Manager of the Blue Cross animal centre in nearby Watcombe, M/S Laura Valentine, told reporters that Emmy was lucky to have survived her ordeal. ‘The RSPCA say she survived by licking condensation off the windows in the shed,’ Ms Valentine was quoted as saying. ‘It is remarkable – she must have been in torment in there… her owner really had no idea where she was.

They didn’t think she would survive because she was so skeletal but she’s fine now. Emmy is still traumatised and has a fear of tight spaces and of being left alone,’ she continued, ‘She has recovered physically but mentally she is still a bit fragile. She also seems to have lost the ability or the will to jump and won’t even hop on or off things.’

Emmy has been placed up for adoption by Blue Cross.

True Story 2 

BRIDGEVILLE, Pa. – A Pennsylvania man found an envelope
stuffed with $3,600 and returned it to the newlyweds who
lost it after their wedding reception.

David and Ashley Marasco, of Bridgeville, had mistakenly
driven off with their wedding album on top of the trunk of
their car Sunday. The money had been tucked inside.

Another motorist pointed out the album on the trunk, but the
envelope had already fallen out.

Brennan Breene, also of Bridgeville, says he saw the
envelope with cash sticking out Sunday in the middle of
Washington Pike, a busy highway southwest of Pittsburgh. So,
he stopped to pick it up.

He says he learned about the Maraco’s misfortune Monday from
local news websites, so he gave the cash to police to be
Breene says he knew the money wasn’t his




In front of the local butcher’s, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realised with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. It was, in fact, a collector’s item.

He strolled into the store and offered 10 pounds for the cat.

‘He’s not for sale,’ said the butcher.

‘Look,’ said the collector, ‘that cat is dirty and scabby, but I’m an eccentric. I prefer cats that way. I’ll raise my offer to 40 pounds.’

‘It’s a deal,’ said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten immediately.

‘For that amount of money I’m sure you won’t mind throwing in the saucer,’ said the connoisseur, ‘The kitten seems so happy drinking from it.’

‘I can’t do that,’ said the butcher firmly, ‘That’s my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week, I’ve sold 18 cats.’


Einstein’s Chauffeur


 When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.


‘I have an idea, boss,’ his chauffeur said. ‘I’ve heard you give this speech so many times, I’ll bet I could give it for you.’


Einstein laughed loudly and said, ‘Why not? Let’s do it!’


When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.


Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about antimatter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool.


Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, ‘Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.’ 



Smart Bribe

 Tried in a hostile town, a guy didn’t think he had a chance of getting off a murder charge, so shortly before the jury retired he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of the lesser crime of manslaughter.


The jury was out for over three days before eventually returning a verdict of manslaughter. The relieved defendant collared the bribed juror and said: ‘Thanks. How ever did you manage it?’


‘It wasn’t easy,’ admitted the juror. ‘All the others wanted to acquit you.’



Visit To Ireland

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in

the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The

bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s

too cold. The accommodations are awful.


The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.

‘Good luck will be followin’ ya all your days if you kiss the

Blarney Stone,’the guide said. ‘Unfortunately, it’s being

cleaned today and so no one willbe able to kiss it. Perhaps we

can come back tomorrow.’


‘We can’t be here tomorrow,’ the nasty woman shouted. ‘We

have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can’t kiss

the stupid stone.’


‘Well now,’ the guide said, ‘it is said that if you kiss someone

who has kissed the stone, you’ll have the same good fortune.’


‘And I suppose you’ve kissed the stone,’ the woman scoffed.


‘No, ma’am,’ the frustrated guide said, ‘but I’ve sat on it.’


Haircut Before The Trip

 A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, ‘Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?’


‘We’re taking TWA,’ was the reply., ‘We got a great rate!’


‘TWA?’ exclaimed the barber. ‘That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are rude, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?’


‘We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.’


‘That dump! That’s the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?’


‘We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.’


‘That’s rich,’ laughed the barber. ‘You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.’


A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.


‘It was wonderful,’ explained the man, ‘not only were we on time in one of TWA’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel – it was great! They’d just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it’s the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!’


‘Well,’ muttered the barber, ‘I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.’


‘Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke to me.’


‘Really?’ asked the Barber. ‘What’d he say?’


‘He said, ‘Where’d you get the lousy haircut?”




Maury’s wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church

From time to time she would practice while she was in the
kitchen preparing dinner.

Whenever she would start in on a song, Maury would head
outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, finally
said, ‘What’s the matter, Maury? Don’t you like my singing?’

Maury replied, ‘Honey, I love your singing, but I just want
to make sure the neighbours know I’m not beating you.’


Courthouse Exchange


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.



Sex Change


An elderly man had an appointment to see the urologist
who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting
room was filled with patients.

As he approached the receptionist’s desk, he noticed that
the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked
like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,      ‘YES, I

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads
around to look  at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,