Sarsfields Newsletter

November 8, 2018

Reserve A Semi Final: Sarsfields 1-12 St Laurence’s 2-8


Tony Ryan 




The dream of winning three championships in a row for Sarsfields Senior B team remains alive after their enthralling encounter against St Laurence’s in which they came back from the dead to snatch victory right at the final whistle in the Reserve A semi-final in Moorefield on Wednesday night last. In racing parlance, Sarsfields were far down the field, trailing for most of the race only to get their noses in front well inside the final furlong to win by a short head. However earlier it was a victory that seemed highly unlikely, nigh impossible as the champions trailed St. Laurence’s by 8 points at half time, 9 early in the second and 8 again with sixteen minutes remaining. It was a remarkable last quarter recovery by Sarsfields and their top marksman, Ray Cahill with a with a personal tally of 1-5 was the toast of the large number of Sash supporters in attendance when he scored the winning point in injury with the second last kick of the game much to the stunned disbelief of the St. Laurence’s players and supporters.

             The look of utter dejection on the faces of the St. Laurence’s players after the final whistle told its own story. This was a game they will definitely feel they should have won such was their dominance territorially and on the scoreboard for three quarters of this game. A couple of missed St Laurence’s scores in the second half, which had they gone over would almost certainly have dethroned the champions but those wides though seemingly of no relevance at the time such was their lead that they enjoyed, would eventually prove to be their undoing.

            St Laurence’s were leading 0-3 to 0-2 after 11 minutes when an excellent move involving their three best forwards Sean Fahey, Padraig Fogarty and James Fahey resulted in a Sean Fahey goal. Corner forward Fogarty added 2 points in a minutes before disaster struck for Sarsfields when James Fahey goaled in the 21st minute after another good build up by the lively St. Laurence’s forwards whom the Sarfields defence found difficult to get to grips with. Sarsfields compounded their problems in the first half with a number of passes going astray in addition to allowing themselves to get corralled in their own defence at times. Padraig Fogarty taking advantage of one of those stray passes wrapped up the scoring for the first half with another point to give St. Laurence’s a comfortable and seemingly unassailable 2-5 to 0-3 half time lead

Immediately after the restart the inevitability of the result appeared to be confirmed when the excellent Padraig Fogarty again scored to stretch St. Laurence’s lead to 9 points and it seemed that Sarsfields would tamely surrender their title. However, whatever was said by manager Conor Earley, and mentors Fintan Buckley and Lorcan O’Donnell at half time must have been taken on board by the players because Sarsfields despite being so far in arrears didn’t let their heads drop, and their confidence ebb,  instead began to play with a greater sense of purpose than hitherto and with their passing much improved from the first half Sarsfields kept chipping away at the St. Laurence’s lead. John Walsh with a fine point reduced the gap to 8 points in the 39th minute after which both teams exchanged points twice to keep the status quo of eight between the sides as the game entered the last quarter. Two points without reply from Sarsfields duo Mattie Byrne and Ray Cahill reduced the deficit to 6 points with 11 minutes remaining following some excellent fielding by Sarsfields midfielder Ciaran Dempsey. 

             Then with 9 minutes left came the defining moment of the second half when Sarsfields were awarded a penalty for a foot block and Ray Cahill coolly dispatched the ball to the net to leave Sartsfields just 3 points in arrears, 2-7 to 1-7. The momentum was now about to swing in  Sarsfields favour and from being in a seemingly hopeless position earlier they were now within striking distance of St. Laurence’s. Two excellent points from Ciaran Dempsey and Joe Buckley reduced the deficit to a single point with four minutes of normal time remaining. Owen Clifford replied with a pressure relieving point for St. Laurence’s, their first in 20 minutes to leave two between the sides 2-8 to 1-9. They then had a couple of chances to increase their lead but a couple of outstanding interceptions by Sarsfields backs David Cash and Steven Lawler set up counter attacks. Ray Cahill from an acute angle on the left wing again reduced the gap to a point as the game was heading for injury time and a nail biting finish. Sarsfields pressure was relentless in an effort to get an equaliser. Then after a couple of misses Mattie Byrne booted the ball over the bar after a bit of a goalmouth scramble to gain parity for Sarsfields. At this point St Laurence’s would have settled for the draw. However the Sarsfields comeback wasn’t yet complete. From the kick out John Walsh soared to gather a high ball near the left hand sideline, rounded his marker and found the unmarked Ray Cahill with a  pinpoint cross field pass and Cahill from 35 metres scored to put Sarsfields a point ahead for the first time since the second minute of the game. There was no time left for a response from a shell-shocked St. Laurence’s and Sarsfields were into their fourth successive final courtesy of the boot of man of the match Ray Cahill.        


Sarsfields: John Melia, Steven Lawler, Conor Duffy, David Cash, Joe Buckley (0-1), Keith Harvey, Keith Browne, Mick Beegan Ciaran Dempsey (0-1), Caoimhín McDonnell, Ray Cahill (1-5) John Walsh,(0-2 1f) Paddy Cambell, Mick Dunne(0-1) Mattie Byrne(0-2) Subs: Padraig Buckley for Paddy Cambell(ht) Derek Bergin for Mick Beegan (44mins)


St Laurence’s:  Joe McLoughlin, Gary Warren, Steven Murphy, Ozzy Osbourne, Paddy O’Conner, Aaron Flood, Owen Corrigan, Billy Kiernan, Colm Kane, Adrian Dunne, Owen Clifford, (0-1) Sean Fahey(1-0) James Fahey (1-2),Ronan Skeehan, Padraig Fogarty (0-5) Subs: Cillian Corcoran, Cian O’Brien for  Ronan Skeehan and Gary Warren (45 mins)  Referee: Des Coyle, Athy.






Sarsfields News & Fixtures



A meeting to re-organise a Scor section in Sarsfields will be held in the
clubhouse on Thursday 9th September at 8.30pm. Their are many members who
are talented musicians and Irish dancers and if interested please attend
this meeting or contact Brenda Walsh on 086 1969868, Eimear Dempsey 085
7427188 or Liam Moore 086 3000114
Well done to the Senior B footballers who beat St Laurences last night by
1-12 to 2-8 to qualify for the Reserve A Championship final.

 There will be a full Sarsfields committee meeting on Monday Sept 13th at
8.30pm. All sections must be represented.

 Annual Night At The Dogs
The Sarsfields Night at the Dogs takes place on Saturday 2nd October.
Adult tickets to include a raffle for €1200 in prizes cost €10 . Children
will be free on the night with pre acquired Sarsfields child tickets . We
are looking for race sponsors at €350 per race to include a full page add in
the programme .
 Please contact Kevin McNulty at 087 2190876 or email Shane Campbell at


Sarsfields Fixtures 


Friday 10th September                             Fri
Reserve E Football Championship               6.30pm
Sarsfields v Confey                                 Caragh

Saturday 11th September                          Sat
Under 8 Boys Football League                  1.30pm
Carbury v Sarsfields                               Carbury
Balyna v Sarsfields                                 Balyna
Under 15 Girls Football League                  2pm
Sarsfields v Naas                                    Pitch 3              
Under 10 Boys Football League                  3pm
Sarsfields v Clane                                   Pitch 3
Sarsfields v Naas                                    Naas
Under 12 Boys Football League                  4.30pm
Sarsfields v Naas                                    Pitch 3                           
Senior Football Championship                 4pm
Sarsfields v Clane                           St Conleths Park

Sunday 12th September                            Sun
Under 9 Hurling League                          10am
Sarsfields v Maynooth                             Pitch 3
Under 11 Hurling League                        11.30am
Sallins v Sarsfields                                  Sallins
Intermediate Football Championship           11.30am
Kilcullen v Milltown                               Pitch 1

Monday 13th September                           Mon
Intermediate Camogie Championship           6.30pm
Sarsfields v Leixlip                                  Pitch 3

Wednesday 15th September                        Wed
Under 13 Girls Football League                  6.30pm
Sarsfields v Eadestown                             Pitch 3



Kildare Senior Championship Schedule


Schedule for the Kildare SFC Weekending:12th September Round 3 19th September. Round 4 26th September Quarter Finals. 3rd October Semi Finals.
17th October Final. Replays / Play-offs if necessary will be played mid week.




New Sarsfields Website

The new Sarsfields Website is now online. Each section of the club will have their own area within the site. Thanks to Colm Harrington for all his work on the new site.



Sarsfields Managers required.


Under 21 Football Manager 2010
Anybody interested in the above position must contact
Club Secretary John Holden
before Sunday September 12th 2010
Tel: 087 2872208

Under 16 Boys Football Manager 2011
Anybody interested in the above position must contact
Club Secretary John Holden
before Sunday September 12th 2010
Tel: 087 2872208

Club Membership Discount Scheme


Sarsfields members can avail of a 10% discount when they show their membership cards while shopping at the following businesses that are participants of the Club Membership Discount Card Scheme.

Acupuncture and Sports Therapy – Gerry Loftus 16 lower Eyre Street.

Amazon Beauty Salon, Ballymany Shopping Centre, Newbridge

An Chistin Restaurant, George’s St, Newbridge

Attic Storage, Industrial Estate, Newbridge.

Biodental Dental Laboratory, Middle Eyre Street

Blooms Florist, Henry Street , Newbridger

Champions Sports, Whitewater, Shopping Centre

Chat & Chew , Café Edward St. Newbridge.

Chicken America Restaurant, Edward St Newbridge.

Clarke’s Menswear, Edward St, Newbridge

Cosgorve’s Pharmacy., Edward Sy Newbridge.

Curraghr Race Course.

Ecocraft, Environmental Building, Clongorey, Newbridge.

Edward Harrigans, pub and Restaurant. Main Street.

Enigma Design Homeware & Gifts, Tarmel Centre

Fallons Bar & Café Main Street, Kilcullen

Farrell & Nephew Gift & Bookshop, Main Street, Newbridge.

Fitzsimons Finance, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

Hokey Pokey Café, Charlotte Street, Newbridge.

Jardin Royale , Chinese Restaurant, Main Street, Newbridge

Jean’s Jewellers  & Giftware, Henry Stret.

Joe Kelly Barber, George’s Street.

Kildare Tyres & Batteries, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

LHW Insurances Group, 57/58/George’s Street Dun Laoghaire.

Lilywhite Print, Eyre Street, Newbridge.

Maginn Electrical, Curragh Camp.

Marty’s Cabs, Main Street Newbridge.

Michael Murphy Furniture, Edward Street, Newbridge.

Moores Builders Providers, Cutlery Road.

Newbridge Hire Service, Newbridge Industrial Estate.

Newbridge Van Rental, Newhall, Naas.

Newbridge Nutrition, Eyre Street.

O’Leary Shoes, Dunnes Stores, Newbridge

O’Reilly Pharmacy, Curragh Grange, Newbridge.

Owen Baker, Menswear, Charlotte Street, Newbridge.

Paul’s Riverside Restaurant, Market Square, Kilcullen.

Red Lane Driving Range, Red Lane , Newbridge.

Reflections Boutique, Moorefield Road, Newbridge.

Riozzi’s Take Away, Eyre Street.

Robbie’s Butchers, Highfield, Newbridge.

Sheehy Motors, Newbridge Road, Naas.

Stevenson’s Home Décor, Ballymany Shoppinf Centre, Newbridge.

Swift’s Bar  and Restaurant, Main Street, Newbridge.

Tarmel Laundry & Dry Cleaners, Cutlery Road, Newbridge.

The Fabric Library, Kildaara Industrial Estate, Newbridge.

The Good Food Gallery, Carnalway, Kilcullen.

The Kiosk Florists, Main Street, Newbridge.

Tom Malone Butchers, Charlotte Street, Newbridge

Top Twenty, Dunnes Stores Shopping Centre.

WE Fit Tyre & Exhaust Centre, Newbridge Industrial Estate.

Whitewater Café Club, Edward Street, Newbridge.

Whyte Melia Electrical, 882, Piercetown, Newbridge.

Sasrsfields On Facebook 

Sarsfields now have 465 Fans on Facebook.

Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields  Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website or by Googling Sarsfields GAA Facebook.


More Stupid Quotes.  


‘It’s not that I’m stupid. I just don’t think sometimes.’
– Collin Farrell


‘How much chicken is there in chick peas?’
– Helen Adams, Big Brother Contestant


‘I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from
Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that
includes me.’
– Jessica Simpson
‘Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.’
– Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez on the benefits of    
  seeing a, well, therapist


‘We are truly the land of the great. From the rock shores
 of… Hawaii… to the beautiful sandy beaches of…
 Hawaii… America is our home.’
– Miss Hawaii 1992


‘My boyfriend gave me a necklace with a tiny circle on it
reminiscent of a planet because it was our first-year
anniversary and it takes like a year for the sun to rotate
around the earth.’
– Actress Kirsten (dunce) Dunst


‘I love Africa in general, South Africa and West Africa.
 They are both great countries.’
– socialite Paris Hilton


‘Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t
Daniel J. Boorstin



Odd/Strange/Bizarre Story’s 


BERLIN (Reuters) – An airplane en route to Poland was
forced to make an emergency landing in Germany after a 56-
year-old woman spilled a hot cup of tea on herself, German
police said on Wednesday.

The Ryanair flight from Liverpool to Poznan made the
unscheduled landing in the north-western city of Bremen on
Tuesday, local police said.

The British woman was treated for scalding at the airport
and released — but not before the plane resumed its journey
without her. She later took a train to Poland, police said.




True Story 


Drink driver runs himself over

An driver from Concord, USA, drove his car at a gang of Hell’s Angels while waving a pool cue.  He then got out of his car and managed to run himself over.  We did not make this up, it was reported in the San Francisco Chronicle.  Richard Brooks, 50, was driving along Highway 4 near Concord, California, when he saw the bikers, many of whom were wearing leather and skull caps.

California Highway Patrol Officer Scott Yox told the SF Chronicle that the man waved a pool cue at the bikers and swerved his car towards them. The bikers split into two groups to get out of his way and the irate driver aimed his car at two bikers who had pulled off the highway. He got out of his car with the pool cue – but before he could do anything, he was knocked down by his own car which had been left in reverse.

The man was knocked into the highway and his car reversed into the central reservation. Some of the bikers grabbed him and pulled him out of danger. The man suffered cuts and scratches and was taken to hospital. He could face charges of assault with a deadly weapon and drink driving.  


True Story  2

 A pilfering seagull has turned shoplifter by wandering into a store and helping himself to his favourite crisps. The fearless bird lies in wait every day and pounces at a corner shop in Aberdeen, Scotland, when the door opens. He sneaks in, grabs his spicy Doritos, then flies off with them in his beak and shares them with other birds.

The seagull, nicknamed Sam by staff and customers, has become so popular locals have started paying for his crisps.

Shop assistant Sriaram Nagarajan reported: ‘At first I didn’t believe a seagull was capable of stealing crisps. But I saw it with my own eyes and I was surprised. He’s very good at it. He’s becoming a bit of a celebrity. Seagulls are usually not that popular but Sam is a star because he’s so funny.’



These examples of ‘Misnomers’ were reported in The Guardian
newspaper in February 2006.   1) Arabic numerals originated in India.

2) Tin cans and tin foil are constructed from aluminium, not tin.

3) Madison Square Garden, USA is not square (nor is it a garden).

4) Danish pastries were invented in Austria.

5) Dry cleaning uses a fluid called naphtha.

6) Pencil lead – pencils use graphite and not lead.

7) The Koala bear is a marsupial and not a bear.

8) Panama hats originate from Ecuador, not Panama.

9) The word Asteroid means ‘star-like’ and they are small planets.

10) The Peanut is a legume, [i.e. fruit/vegetable] not a nut.




Cowboy in the Cinema.

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the
posh theatre.

When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the
cowboy, ‘Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.’ The
cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more
impatient. ‘Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going
to have to call the manager. The cowboy just

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he
returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried
repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally,
they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation
briefly then asked, ‘All right buddy, what’s you’re name?’

‘Sam,’ the cowboy moaned.

‘Where ya from, Sam?’

With pain in his voice Sam replied… ‘the balcony.’


Contract Bidding

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at 10 Downing Street ; one from London , another from  Bristol and the third, Liverpool .

They go with a government official to examine the wall.
The London contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,  then works some figures with a pencil.
‘Well’, he says, ‘I figure the job will run about £900:  £400 for materials, £400 for my crew and £100 profit for me.’

The Liverpool contractor doesn’t measure or figure but leans over to the Government official and whispers, ‘£2,700.’

The official, incredulous, says, ‘You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?’

The Liverpool contractor whispers back, ‘£1000 for me, £1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Bristol to fix the wall.’
‘Done!’ replies the government official.


The Mother and the Coach


At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his
young players, ‘Do you understand what cooperation is? What
a team is?’

The little boy nodded.

‘Do you understand that what matters is whether we win
together as a team?’

‘Yes, Sir,’ the little boy said.

‘So,’ the coach continued, ‘when a strike is called, or
you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the
umpire. Do you understand all that?’

Again the little boy nodded. ‘Yes, Coach, I understand.’

‘Good,’ said the coach nervously. ‘Now, could you go over
there and explain it to your mother?’



Locker Room


Several men are in the locker room at the golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

 MAN: ‘Hello’

WOMAN: ‘Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club ?’

MAN: ‘Yes’

WOMAN: ‘I am at Bluewater and I’ve found this beautiful leather coat. It’s   only £500. Is it OK if I buy it?’

MAN: ‘Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.’

WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership on the way here and saw the new 2010 Models. I saw one I really liked.’

MAN: ‘How much ?’

WOMAN: ‘£65,000

MAN: ‘OK, but for that price please make sure you haggle for all the optional extras.’

WOMAN: ‘Great ! Oh, and one more thing…the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking £750,000.

MAN: ‘Well, if you still like it that much, why not make an offer of £700K. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if you think it’s worth it.’

WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later ! I love you so much !’

MAN: ‘Bye ! I love you, too.’

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in
  astonishment, mouths agape.  He turns and  asks:

Anyone know who this phone belongs to ?’

Miracle Cure

Doctor Bloomfield was known for his extraordinary treatment
of arthritis. One day he had a waiting room full of people
when a little old lady, almost bent over in half, shuffled
in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came, she went
into the doctor’s office, and, amazingly, emerged within 5
minutes walking completely erect with her head held high.

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this rushed up
to the little old lady and said, ‘It’s a miracle! You walked
in bent in half and now you’re walking erect. What did that
doctor do?’

‘He gave me a longer cane.’ 

Irish Drinking Jokes

The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of twenty euros costs.

‘Now don’t let me ever see your face again,’ said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go.

‘I’m afraid I can’t promise that, sir,’ said the released man.
‘And why not?’.
‘Because I’m the barman at your regular pub.’

Irish Doctors
The Doctor was puzzled ‘I’m very sorry but I can’t diagnose your trouble, O’Flaherty. I think it must be drink.’
‘Don’t worry about it Dr Cullen, I’ll come back when you’re sober.’ said O’Flaherty.


And finally a gem from Leo kennedy

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility …..  

Q:  ‘Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?’  

A:   ‘No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’

Q:   ‘Officer — who provided this description?’  

A:   ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’  

Q:   ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’
A:   ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’

Q:   ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’

A:   ‘Yes sir, we do!’

Q:   ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’  

A:   ‘Yes, sir, … I do.’

Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’

A:   ‘Yes, sir.’

Q:   ‘Now, … why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?’  

A:   ‘You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year’s ‘Best Comeback’ line