THE SASH Friday June 11th 2010
The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.
Girls U14 Capture Crown after extra time against St. Laurence’s
Congratulations to the Girls under 14 team who won the championship last Saturday with a thrilling win over St Laurence’s after extra time. Best wishes on a speedy recovery to Shauna Kendrick who broke and dislocated her thumb and to Captain Orlaigh Begley who broke her wrist during the game and waited for half an hour before going to hospital so that she could lift the cup.
Cambell’s Cubs Cull Continues.
In Division 5 of the senior League Sarsfields under the tutelage of Paddy Cambell and his right hand men Mick Keogh and Eric Sarsfields Thorpe racked up another win when they comprehensively defeated Straffan 1-15 to 0-5 on Monday night.
Hurlers Triumph
Having won the Championship League and double last season the hurlers newly promoted and under new manager Denis Lehart edged closer to a semi final spot in the Intermediate hurling league when the easily accounted for Ros Glas by a massive 7-17 to 0-9. A two goal salvo each from Mick Aherne, John Joyce, Danny Watson and a goal form Kevin Healy saw off the challenge from Ros Glas. They have two games left; away to Naas next Thursday night and a rescheduled home fixture against Athy the following week.
Report by Colm Harrington
Sarsfields 7-17 Ros Glas 0-9
Sarsfields recorded a facile win in the intermediate league on thursday night as they outscored Rosglas 7:17 to 0:09 in Sarsfields Park.
On top of their direct marker in every position and first to every ball, the writing was on the wall after 15 minutes as Sars had moved into a 0:07 to 0:02 lead despite playing against a fresh breeze. 2 Goals in two minutes signalled the end of the game as a contest. At half-time the sash led by 3:09 to 0:02. The expected backlash never materialised in the second half as Sarsfields romped home seemingly scoring at will at times. Everything seemed to go wrong for the monasterevin men on the night and they were short a lot of players due to football commitments but the failed to match the appetite for the fray of the home team and payed a heavy price.
Sarsfields Family Fun & Sports Day Sunday June 13th
On Sunday next June 13th Sarsfields will be holding a Summer Family Fun and Sports Day in the Sarsfields Park from 2pm. to 6.30pm. Admission is free and all are welcome. Events will include the following: BBQ, Bouncy castles & Face Painting; Running & Novelty races; Army and Emergency Response Vehicles; Raffle with big prizes including weekend away in top 4 Star Hotel in Cork; Sports personalities including Kildare football stars; Pipe band; music and many stalls. To get to Sarsfields, turn at Young’s Chemist/ Bank Of Ireland and travel out the Milltown Road past the train station and turn right at the traffic lights, about 600 metres after the RailwayBridge and Sarsfields Park is 100 metres on the right.
Sarsfields Fixtures This Week.
Friday June 11th: Under 12 Boys Football Shield Final
Sarsfields v Cappagh at 6.45 St. Conleth’s Park.
Senior Football League Div 3
Sarsfields V Clogherinkoe at 7.30 Sarsfields Park.
Sarsfields V Clogherinkoe
Under 10 Hurling League
Sallins v Sarsfields Sallins at 7pm.
Saturday June 12th:
Under 8 Boys Football
Naas vSarsfields Naas at 1pm
Under10Boys Football Sarsfields v Carbury Sarsfields Park at 3pm.
Sunday13thJune
Under 12 Hurling League Sarsfields v Naas Sarsfields Park at 12 noon
Senior Football League Div 1 Sarsfields V Celbridge in Celbridge at 6pm.
Monday June 14th Senior Football League Div 5
Sarsfields V Moorefield in Sarsfields Park at 7.30.
Tuesday June 15th.
Confey v Sarsfield in Confey at 7pm.
Teenage Disco
The monthly Sash Disco takes place this Friday June 11th from 8pm to 11pm. Entry to over 11’s only. Admission is €5. If anyone is available for supervising contact Fiona Sully on
The Sash Relaunched
The recently re launched Sash Magazine is now on sale in the clubhouse, O’Conner’s Centra, Johnstons and Buckleys’s in Allenview Heights. In order to avoid having advertisements in the magazine there is a €2 charge to cover production costs. It will be published quarterly and the next issue will be in mid July after the All Ireland Feile. Contributions are most welcome from any section of the club or individual. Please send articles to PRO tonyr06@eircom.net.
RTÉ LIVE TV GAA CHAMPIONSHIP FOOTBALL & HURLING FIXTURES
JUNE 12 CAVAN V FERMANAGH, 5.15PM
JUNE 13 MEATH/OFFALY V LAOIS, 2PM
JUNE 19 ANTRIM/TYRONE V DONEGAL/DOWN, 5.15PM
JUNE 26 LTH/LONG/KILD V WIC/CAR/WTH, 4PM ALL IRELAND QUALIFIERS
JULY 4 LEINSTER SHC FINAL, 4PM (H)
JULY 10 ALL IRELAND QUALIFIERS
JULY 11 LEINSTER SFC FINAL, 2PM MUNSTER SHC FINAL, 4PM (H)
JULY 17 ALL IRELAND QUALIFIERS
JULY 18 ULSTER SFC FINAL, 2PM
JUNE 24 ALL IRELAND QUALIFIERS
JULY 25 ALL IRELAND SHC QUARTER FINALS (H)
JULY 31/AUG 1/2 ALL IRELAND SFC QUARTER-FINALS
AUG 8 ALL IRELAND SHC SEMI-FINAL (H)
AUG 15 ALL IRELAND SHC SEMI-FINAL (H)
AUG 22 ALL IRELAND SFC SEMI-FINAL
AUG 29 ALL IRELAND SFC SEMI-FINAL
SEPT 5 ALL IRELAND SHC FINAL (H)
SEPT 19 ALL IRELAND SFC FINAL
Sasrsfields On Facebook
Sarsfields now have 352 Fans on Facebook.
Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website.
Support The Sash with Vodafone
Sign up to the Vodafone Support Your GAA Club programme to donate 5% of
your Pay Monthly bill or Top Up to Sarsfields – without it costing you a
single cent! Contact Shane Campbell or visit the Vodafone web site.
More Stupid Quotes.
‘If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it’s Big
Business.’
– Donald Trump, sorry Donald…
‘I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in
a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in
a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all
growing up.’
– Ex-Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, in an interview with
‘Esquire’ magazine
‘To be with the same person for the rest of your life just
sounds so drab.’
– Eva Longoria
‘I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.’
– Britney Spears
‘ If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn’t own anything. My
wife’s a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven’t
sold them.’
– Ted Turner
Odd/Strange/Bizarre Story’s
ELYRIA, Ohio – Police in northeast Ohio say they’re looking
for thieves who stole a wheelchair ramp from a woman’s home,
and a local business is offering to replace it with a free
upgrade.
Thirty-four-year-old Cordelia Simpson says she discovered
Thursday morning that someone had stolen the 10-foot wooden
ramp leading from the porch to the sidewalk at her rental
home in Elyria (eh-LEER’-ee-uh).
Simpson suffers from bone deterioration and weakness in her
legs. She can walk short distances but uses an electric
wheelchair for longer ones.
John Wright of American Ramp Services in North Olmsted said
Saturday that he would replace the stolen ramp with a $4,000
steel one. He says he couldn’t stand the thought of Simpson
being confined to her house over Memorial Day weekend.
Fascinating But Irrelevant Facts
In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
‘Kemo Sabe’ means ‘soggy shrub’ in Navajo.
Einstein couldn’t speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.
In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are cars.
You’re more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day that in any other weather.
An average person laughs about 5 times a day.
Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.
The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 mph.
The Neanderthal’s brain was bigger than yours is.
Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee.
In 1980, there was only one country in the world with no telephones – Bhutan.
Pollsters say that 40% of dog and cat owners carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.
Bubble gum contains rubber.
Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.
The world population of chickens is about equal to the number of people.
Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured iced water over his head.
It’s against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.
Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.
Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the western Pacific.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.
Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.
Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.
True Story allegedly
Dave, a driver, tells the story of when he was driving a bus load pensioners to Brighton, on a day trip, when he was tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offered him a handful of peanuts, which he happily took and ate. After a US bout 20 minutes, she tapped him on his shoulder again and she handed him another handful of peanuts. The old dear repeated this generous gesture several more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he decided to ask the little old lady, ‘Why don’t you and your friends eat the peanuts yourself?’,
‘We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth’, she answered.
Dave was puzzled and enquired, ‘Then why on earth do you buy them?’,
‘Oh, we just love the chocolate around them,’ replied the old lady.
True Story 2
Murder Most Fowl.
Even a chicken, which has for months avoided
becoming road kill on a Johannesburg intersection, can’t
escape the crime-ridden city’s crooks.
Under a front-page headline ‘Murder most fowl,’ The Star
newspaper lamented the demise of the ‘plucky black hen’ as a
cruel reflection of society in South Africa, one of the
world’s most violent and crime-ridden countries.
The semi-wild chicken had dodged intersection traffic for
months, but was lured across the road to her death by a
trail of breadcrumbs laid out by a friendly traffic-light
newspaper seller. But it was trap!
The newspaper seller was being held at knifepoint by two
hungry crooks intent on a chicken meal.
‘The streetwise chicken met her match,’ said The Star.
Only In America
Woman wants to be World’s Fattest.
A mother of two is waging a campaign to become the world’s heaviest living woman.
Donna Simpson, 42, from New Jersey, weighs more than 42 stone and aims to reach 71 stone – or 1,000lbs, reports the Daily Telegraph.
She has her own website which gives fans the chance to pay to watch her eat greasy food or walk to the car.
‘The bigger your butt is, the bigger belly you have, the sexier you are,’ she said.
Miss Simpson spends as much as £516 a week on groceries, suffers from diabetes and struggles with basic tasks such as cooking and taking a shower.
But she dismisses critics who warn that her weight can lead to health problems: ‘I’m very healthy. I go to the doctor every three months,’ she said.
Miss Simpson has found a man who says he appreciates her size, and they plan to marry in Hawaii this year.
Her fiance, Philippe Gouamba, 49, the father of her three-year-old daughter, says he finds her attractive and is one of her biggest supporters.
‘You look at her curves and see her full belly and generous hips,’ he said. ‘It’s very sexy.’
A Guinness World Records spokesman said Miss Simpson has submitted a claim for the title of world’s heaviest woman to give birth, a claim that is being reviewed.
Humour.
Fishy Tale
Mrs Baker wanted to go ice fishing. She had read several books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary equipment together, she made her way out onto the ice.
After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Frighteningly, from up above, a voice boomed, ‘There are no fish under the ice.’ Startled, Mrs Baker moved farther down the ice, poured herself a large coffee, and began to cut yet another hole.
Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, ‘There are no fish under the ice.’ Mrs Baker, now became very concerned so she moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and began again to cut her ice-hole.
The voice rang out once more, ‘There are no fish under the ice.’ Mrs Baker, stopped, looked upwards and said, ‘Is that you, Lord?’
The voice replied, ‘No, this is the Ice-Rink Manager.’
