Sarsfields Newsletter

Volunteers Required.

Your club needs you.

Anyone who would like to get involved in any section in Sarsfields is very welcome or on the various committees that have been/are been set up such as Lotto fundraising or the new communications committee. To get involved with the lotto contact Kevin McNulty on or for the communications committee contact Secretary John Holden on 087-2872208 or PRO Tony Ryan on 087-2767338. In relation to communications all managers are asked to immediately send match results with the scores regardless of winning or losing to PRO Tony Ryan. The County Board wants all results in as soon as possible so that they can be placed on the website more quickly than in previous years.   

Club Mass

A Club Mass for all Deceased Club Members has been provisionally arranged to take place in the clubhouse on Sunday 7th March at 7.30pm.

Sash Notes

The senior B’s opened their Dowling Cup campaign with a 2-8 to 0-9 win over St Lawrence’s on Wednesday night. The Senior team’s opening game in the Aldridge Cup also against St Laurence’s was cancelled last night due to the snow.

Both teams will also have games on this coming Saturday February 27th at 2.30pm.( weather permitting) The Seniors are away to Suncroft and the Senior B’s are at home to Rathcoffey. Making up the fourth team in the senior’s group is Naas while the fourth team in the senior B teams group is Celbridge. The third round games will take place on the following Saturday.

            Hard luck to our five representatives Alan Barry, Manager, Eric Thorpe, able assistant, David Duggan, Sean Campbell and Joe Buckley and the Kildare Under 21 team who were narrowly beaten in Saturdays Under 21 Championship first round game v Westmeath in Mullingar.

Well done to the Minor B team who beat Nurney on Sunday morning. The Minor A teams game was cancelled due to a bereavement in the Clane club. The 2009 Junior Hurling League Semi Final game against Sallins on Sunday morning was cancelled due to an unplayable pitch. The minors will finally get their league campaign off to a start on Sunday next February 28^th when they are at home to Celbridge at 11.45. Sarsfields second team are will play away to Rathangan in Division 4. The U16 footballers begin their League Division 2 campaign on Saturday February 28th when they will take on Monasterevin in Sarsfields Park at 4pm.  On Sunday 28th February the Feilé begins and the U 14 footballers will play Na Fianna in Sarsfields Park at 10.30pm in section A. In section E, Sarsfields are away to Clane. All players are reminded that the deadline for payment of membership is 13th March. Unpaid Players will be unable to play or train after this date until their membership is paid.

            Saturday morning Underage training returns on Saturday the 6th of March, at 11.15am for the following age groups: Kindergarten – 4/5/6 yr. Olds. Kindergarten Hurling, Boys Under 7’s, Boys Under 8’s, Boys Under 9’s, Girls Under 8’s and Girls Under 9’s. We would like to welcome back all players, coaches and parents. New members are very welcome If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact the Juvenile chairperson, Stephen Murphy, on 087 2840877.
            The U11 boys returned home on Sunday evening after having a great weekend in Glasgow with the highlight of the trip being their visit to Celtic for the game against Dundee.

The Pool Table has been relocated back out into club bar area and has been an outstanding success with huge crowds playing most week nights and a club Pool tournament will be scheduled by Tom Sex in the next few weeks.

            If any persons in the club have First Aid experience please contact The Club
Health and Safety Officer Vincent Miller 087 7998433. Anne Nolan Dempsey has been appointed as the Club Liasion & Welfare officer for the coming year. If anyone has any  photos of Sarsfields Championship winning teams  from any era please contact Eric Thorpe on 086-1272953 as some teams are missing from the collection of winning Championship teams in the club bar. All originals will be returned after copying.

             If any club member wishes to use the Club Gym please contact Secretary John Holden 087 2872208. to obtain a Gym Fob ( once off cost of €10 ). All team managers are asked to send on preferred training times to club secretary for the coming season as the training pitch roster is being finalised shortly. For any issues relating to health and safety please contact The Club Health and Safety Officer Vincent Miller 087 7998433. 

If any club member is interested in helping out as a steward at Kildare matches in St Conleths Park please contact Club Secretary John Holden 087 2872208 as soon as possible. All team managers are asked to send on preferred training times to the club secretary for the coming season as the training pitch roster is being finalised shortly.

Club Membership
 
Club Membership for all sections is now due. Contact Registrar Kathleen
(Ollie) Ryan 086 6264115

The new membership rates are as follows:

Adult Member €60

Adult Player €120 (includes €60 player contribution)

Student Player €90  (includes €60 player contribution)

Unemployed Player €70 (includes €60 player contribution)

Retired Member €10

Juvenile Member (Kindergarten to Under 9) €30

Juvenile Member ( Under 10 to Under 18) €60  (includes €30 player
contribution)

Family Membership €70 + players levies

Sarsfields Fixtures this week.

Sunday 28^th February.

Saturday 24^th February Aldridge Cup:

Suncroft v Sartsfields at 2pm

Dowling Cup: Sarsfields v Rathcoffey at 2pm.

U16 football league Div 2 Saturday February 28th

 Sarsfields v Monasterevin in Sarsfields Park at 4pm. 

2009 Junior Hurling League Semi-Final

Sarsfields V Sallins 11.30 Sarsfields Park.

MFL Div 1 Sun day February 28^th

Sarsfields V Celbridge at 11.45.

 MFl Division 4

 Rathangan v Sarsfields  11.45.

On Sunday 28th February the Feilé begins and the U 14 footballers will play Na Fianna in Sarsfields Park at 10.30pm in section A. In section E, Sarsfields are away to Clane.

Kildare’s Leinster Senior, and Minor Fixtures for 2010

 Leinster Senior football Championship.

 Full fixtures: NFL Division 2:  All Sunday games at 2.30. Saturday games at 7.30 under lights – Rnd 3: Sunday, March 7, Kildare -v- Donegal; Rnd 4: Sunday, March 14, Armagh -v- Kildare; Rnd 5: Sunday, March 21, Kildare -v- Westmeath; Rnd 6: Saturday, March 27 – Laois -v- Kildare under lights at 7.30; Rnd 7: Sunday, April 11, Meath -v- Kildare.

NHL Division 2 – Rnd 1: Sunday, February 21, Laois -v- Kildare; Rnd 2: Sunday, February 28, Kildare -v- Antrim; Rnd 3: Saturday, March 13 – Westmeath -v- Kildare; Rnd 4: Saturday, March 20 – Kildare -v- Down; Rnd 5: Sunday, March 28, Wexford -v- Kildare; Rnd 6: Sunday, April 4, Kildare -v- Carlow; Rnd 7: Sunday, April 18, Kildare -v- Clare.

 

Underage Camogie & Hurling Training.
 
 All Outdoor Underage Hurling & Camogie training starts back in Sarsfields on Thursday 25th of March from 6pm to 7pm.
 
That’s U8, U10, U12 & U14. Boys & Girls.

For more information contact Denise McGann on – 087-2873096

Support The Sash with Vodafone

Sign up to the Vodafone Support Your GAA Club programme to donate 5% of
your Pay Monthly bill or Top Up to Sarsfields – without it costing you a
single cent! Contact Shane Campbell or visit the Vodafone web site.

More Stupid Quotes. 

‘Jay-Z is my new best friend! He was so charming and
delightful, and he smelled so good.’
– Oprah Winfrey, on a call with Gayle King during Oprah’s  
  Sirius Satellite Radio program  

‘I’ll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten
and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind
it really.’
– Vladimir Putin, explaining why he approached a young boy
in a group of tourists, lifted his shirt, and kissed his
bare stomach (2006)

‘What are you looking at sugar-tits?’
– Mel Gibson when being pulled over for driving  
  erratically.

‘I love cigarettes. Love them. I think the more
positive approach you have to smoking, the less harmful
it is.’
– Sienna Miller

I’m not a hero. A hero is a sandwich and I’m on a low carb
 diet’
– Shaquille O’neal

Strange/Bizarre/Quirkie News.

AQUILLA, Ohio – Jimmy Grey says he’s been out of work
for almost a year and needed a project to stay busy. So
with the heavy snowfall this winter, the 25-year-old
laborer got to work on an extreme igloo in his family’s
yard in Aquilla (ah-KWIL’-uh), about 30 miles east of
Cleveland.

His four-room creation has 6-foot ceilings and an
entertainment room. He powers the TV with an extension
cord plugged into an outlet in the garage. He also ran
wires for cable television with surround-sound stereo.

Grey says candles help add ambiance for nighttime get-
togethers with friends, and the freezing temperatures
mean that the beer never goes warm.

True Story

Taking A Bite Out Of Shark Statistics

More than 90% of shark attack victims survive.  

Every year, as waters around the coast warms up, people
flock to beaches all over the world, with a wary eye on
the water for a triangular fin headed towards them.
Whether it is a news story or memories of the film
‘Jaws’, swimmers are leery of putting themselves in the
way of becoming lunch for one of the many species of
sharks that inhabit the world’s oceans. But do they
really need to worry?

Shark attacks on humans have been recorded for the last
500 years, and in intense detail over the last few
decades, thanks to such partnerships as the American
Elasmobranch Society and the Florida Museum of Natural
History. The society, comprised of over 4,000
professionals in the field of shark, ray and skate
study, has worked with the museum to compile several
centuries of reports, including diaries, news stories,
personal statements, medical reports, and autopsies.

The general theory is that a shark’s brain is a
relatively simply one causing it to react to signals
that appear to be danger or food, without considering
the outcome or consequences. When it is stimulated,
hungry, or even bored, it will hone in on things that
move within its field of vision, or will swim off to
investigate the vibrations from a moving object, be it
human or motorized boat. Any resulting attacks are
consequently believed to be simple reaction to
stimulus, supported by the fact that sharks seldom
continue the attack to destroy or consume their
victims. Once discovered not to be their usual diet, a
shark leaves the ‘prey’, resulting in a survival rate
of over 90% for shark bite victims.

True Story 2.   

Right On, Rosemary

Studies have shown that the scent of Rosemary can help
in better mental performance and make individuals feel
more alert.  
Romantic as it may seem, the herb we know as Rosemary
wasn’t named for some long-forgotten love. It comes
from the Latin ‘rosmarinus’, which is literally
interpreted as ‘dew of the sea’.

A woody herb, it grows in the harsher Mediterranean
climate, surviving in high temperatures with little
water. As a member of the mint family, it grows well
and heartily, sometimes reaching heights of 4-5 feet,
and is so dense in branches and leaves, that the plants
have been used as topiary forms and are clipped into
shapes.

Prized for its colorful blossoms and pleasing scent,
the rosemary plant has been used for medicinal purposes
almost as long as records exist for such things.
Although popular to treat rheumatism, headaches,
epilepsy and poor circulation, its chief claim to fame
was as a stimulant, something that has been reconfirmed
in modern studies.

A study conducted in the UK, using 144 volunteers,
placed them in cubicles to work, with either a scent-
free environment, the scent of rosemary, or the scent
of lavender. Those in the rosemary cubicles performed
better, and reported feeling more alert and capable of
working. Those in a scent-free environment ranked
second, and the lavender-scented cubicle occupants came
in last, re-confirming not only rosemary’s reputation,
but lavender’s for its sedative effects.

WORLD’S EASIEST QUIZ       

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)


1) How long did the Hundred Years’ War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI’s first name?

8) What colour is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane? 

Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.20

Check your answers below.








ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats?   Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?  Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 
November

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?  Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 
Dogs

7) What was King George VI’s first name?  Albert

8) What colour is a purple finch?  Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?   New Zealand

10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane? 
Orange (of course)


What do you mean, you failed?  Me, too.

(And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie!)

Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel useless too. 
Thanks to Leo Kennedy

Humour.

Saint Patrick’s Day Jokes 

The Irish attempt on Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: They ran out of scaffolding.

1) Big Rock

An Irishman, by the name of O’Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick’s Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn’t real.

The young lass on learning it wasn’t real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.
‘It was in honour of St. Patrick’s Day,’ he smiled.
‘I gave you a sham rock.’

2) How to Gain Admittance to the Olympics

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.
While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, ‘Johnson, the pole vault,’ and was admitted.

The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, ‘McTavish, the hammer.’ He was also admitted.

The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, ‘O’Sullivan, fencing.’

3) Judgement

The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of twenty euros costs.

‘Now don’t let me ever see your face again,’ said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go.
‘I’m afraid I can’t promise that, sir,’ said the released man.
‘And why not?’.

‘Because I’m the barman at your regular pub.’

4) Irish Doctors

The Doctor was puzzled ‘I’m very sorry but I can’t diagnose your trouble, O’Flaherty. I think it must be drink.’
‘Don’t worry about it Dr Cullen, I’ll come back when you’re sober.’ said O’Flaherty.

Run Home

Two boys were playing baseball. The pitcher threw the
ball and the batter connected with a crack. ‘Wow!’ said
the pitcher, ‘It’s a run-home!’

‘You mean a home run,’ said the batter.

‘No, I mean a run-home,’ said the pitcher. ‘You just
hit the ball through the neighbour’s window!’

Something to Look Forward To.

A group of 40 years old friends discussed where they should meet for
dinner.

Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View
restaurant because the waitress’s there had low cut blouses and were
very young.

10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and
the wine selection was good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and
quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair
accessible and they even had an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

A man takes the day off work  and
Decides to go out  golfing.
He is on the second hole when  he
Notices a frog  sitting next to the green.

He thinks nothing of it and  is
About to shoot  when he Hears,
Ribbit 9  Iron.’
The man looks around and  doesn’t
See  anyone.
Again, he hears, ‘Ribbit 9  Iron.’
He looks at the frog and decides  to
Prove the frog  wrong, puts the
Club away, and grabs a 9  iron.
Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from  the cup.
He is  shocked.
He says to the  frog,
‘Wow that’s  amazing.
You must be a lucky frog,  eh?
The frog  replies,
‘Ribbit Lucky  frog.’

The man decides to take the  frog
with him to  the next hole.
‘What do you think  frog?’
The man  asks.
‘Ribbit 3  wood.’
The guy  takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in  one.
The man is befuddled and doesn’t  know
What to  say.
By the end of the day, the man  golfed the
Best  game of golf in his life and
asks the  frog,
‘OK where to next?’
The frog  replies,
‘Ribbit  Las  Vegas .
‘ They go to Las  Vegas
and the guy  says,
‘OK frog, now  What?’
The frog says, ‘Ribbit  Roulette.’
Upon approaching the roulette  table,
The man  asks, ‘What do you think I should  Bet?’
The frog replies,’Ribbit $3000, black  6.’Now,

this  is million-to-one  shot to win, but after the golf game the  man
Figures what  the heck.

Boom!

Tons of cash comes sliding back  across the table.

The man takes his winnings  and
buys the best room in the  Hotel.

He sits the frog down and  Says,

‘Frog, I don’t know how to repay  you.
You’ve won me  all this money and
I am forever  grateful.’

The  frog replies,

‘Ribbit Kiss Me.’
He figures why  not,

Since  after all the frog did for Him,

He deserves  it.

With a kiss, the frog turns into  a
gorgeous waitress.

‘And that,

my dear, is how the  girl
ended up in my  room.
 So help me God
Or my name is not Tiger Woods.!
Thanks to Leo Kennedy  for the above two.

Bank Loan

A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan
officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security
for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on
the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything
checks out.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground
garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, ‘Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little
puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?’

The Chinese replies: ‘Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?’