Sarsfields Newsletter

November 8, 2018

THE SASH Wednesday October 20th 2009


The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club. 


All Star for Dermot Earley.


Congratulations to Dermot on receiving his 2nd All-Star last week ,the only Leinster player to get one in 2009. There will be a table quiz in aid of the Kildare panel in Swift’s on Thursday night at 8.30. Table of four: €40. Prizes: 1st €100, 2nd €200, 3rd €100.



Junior Hurling Final. Sarsfields 2-10 Naas 0-7


By Tony Ryan

Sarsfields captured their first adult Hurling championship since 1986 when they determinedly and skilfully accounted for Naas by 9 points in a bruising encounter during which two Sarsfields players, James Kelly and Liam O’Dwyer received serious injuries requiring hospitalisation in the final on Saturday afternoon in Celbridge.

After a low scoring first half during which both sides missed a number of scoring opportunities including a penalty awarded to Sarsfields, Naas went in at the break with a slender one point lead, 0-4 to 0-3 after a superb 60metre strike from centre half forward John Gavigan edged them ahead just prior to the break.

            Just a minute after the resumption Mick Aherne scored the first of  Sarsfields’ two second half goals after great work by  half back David Breslin who broke up a Naas attack and fed the ball to Aherne from 65metres.Thereafter Sarsfields never relinquished their lead despite a robust challenge from Naas. 11 minutes later  Sarsfields Full forward Kevin Healey scored their second goal after he received a pass across the goalmouth from Mick Aherne. A few minutes later when second half substitute Brendan Cawley scored a point to give Sarsfields a five-point cushion 2-4 to 0-5,the game was effectively over as a contest. Sarsfields were dominant in all sectors and preceded to turn their dominance into scores as Tomás Lawless(02) Mick Aherne (0-1) and a one apiece from Dennis O’Callaghan and Kevin Healey before a brilliant strike from Centre back Frank Maguire from all of 75 metres sealed the outcome for the Sash.

Liam Moloney, the best forward that Naas had and who accounted for half of his team’s six scores, scored a consolation point in injury time but it was to little to late as the rock solid Sarsfields defence commandeered by Frank Maguire at centre back had previously repelled all Naas attempts to get a goal that would have given them a lifeline.   


Sarsfields: Dermot Maguire, Sean Clandillon, James Kelly, Keith Walsh, Frank (0-1) Maguire, David Breslin, John Joyce,(0-1) Olan O, Mahoney, Dennis O’Callaghan,(0-1) Tomás Lawless,(0-4) Ciaran Lynch, Mick Aherne,(1-1) Kevin Healey,(1-1) Alan Kelly. Subs: Dane Barrett for James Kelly (injured 20mins) Brendan Cawley(0-1) for Alan Kelly(37mins) Liam O’Dwyer for Mick Aherne(56mins)


Naas: Brian Murnanne, Hugh Comiskey, Ger Clarke, Jimmy Dalton, Alan Browne, Mark Boran,  Tim Buckley, Colm Boran, Hugh Keogh,(01) John Gavigan(0-3) Declan O’Neill, Liam Mockler, Liam Moloney,(0-3) Brian O’Riordan. Subs: Donnachadh Dowling for Brian O’Riordan, Trevor Buckley for Declan O’Neil.

Referee: Tom O’Sullivan Celbridge.

Division 4 League Final: Sarsfields 3-15  Round Towers 0-6



Sarsfields senior B team made it a Championship and League double when they comprehensively defeated Round Towers by 18 points in the Division 4 League Final a week after winning their second successive Championship.

It was a stroll in the Park for this young talented Sash team, the bulk of whom are the product of championship winning minors and U21 teams of recent years. Many of these players will feature in Sarsfields next senior manager’s plans for 2010. Sarsfields captain Niall O’Callaghan alluded to this in his acceptance speech when he said that many of his teammates would be leaving their B status behind and graduating to the senior ranks in 2010.

Sarsfields were in complete control from start to finish, leading 1-5 to 0-3 at half time. In the second half they got in to their stride and gave an exhibition of scoring. Whatever slim chance Round Towers had of reducing the deficit disappeared early in the second half within the space of a couple of minutes with two Declan McKenna goals which gave Sarsfields an unassailable 3-7 to 0-5 lead. From then on it was shooting practise for the Sarsfields forwards as they racked up another eight points to a solitary Towers point.




Sarsfields: Keith Hedderman, Keith Browne, Niall Callaghan,(Captain) David Cash, Derek Regan,  Ciaran Carey, Joe Buckley, Pauric Buckley,(0-1) Mick Beegam( Man of the Match) Conor Tiernan,(0-2) Eoin O’Sullivan,(0-2) Dara Horgan,(0-2) John Geraghty,(1-2) Mick Dunne,(0-1) Declan McKenna.(2-2) Subs: Mattie Byrne(0-1) for Conor Tiernan, (50 mins) Darren Sommers for David Cash (53) Phillip Thinsley for John Geraghty (55mins) Brian Smith for Declan Mckenna (57mins) Steven Murphy for Mick Dunne (58mins)


Round Towers: James Rennick, Steven O’Brien, Kevin Reddy, McDara De Paor, Michael Kelly, Tom Behan, Colm Farrell, Barry Ryan, Dean O’Rourke, Dean Houlihan, Niall Cleary, Steven Murphy,  Alan Collins, Jason O’Brien, Dean Molloy.

Subs: Brian Robinson for Dean O’Rourke, Alan Guilfoyle for Kevin Reddy



Leinster GAA News
The Minister for Arts, Sport and Tourism, Martin Cullen TD, has now
launched the 2009 National Awards to Volunteers in Irish Sport. The
Awards scheme is an initiative of the Department of Arts, Sport and
Tourism in conjunction with the Federation of Irish Sports and supported
by Setanta Sports and the Irish Sports Council.

The Awards will honour eleven individuals who volunteer their time and
effort to sport in Ireland each year through their involvement with
sports clubs and organisations throughout the country.  The first
programme of National Awards to Volunteers in Sport was successfully
held in 2007.  The Award winners will be selected by a committee chaired
by Olympic gold medal winner Ronnie Delany and the Awards will be
presented by the Minister in January 2010.  

The eleven categories of Awards are:
* Coach (U18)
* Adult Coach
* Youth Manager (U18)
* Adult Manager
* National Level Administrator
* Local/Community Administrator
* Lifetime

Junior Volunteer (U18)

Volunteer in Disability Sport

* Other (for people who don’t fit into the categories listed above
and yet make a valuable contribution)

Nominations for the Awards can be made by individuals or clubs on-line
at, which includes full guidelines
and details of the 2009 awards. Nominating clubs or groups must be
affiliated to a National Governing Body of Sport. The closing date for
the receipt of nominations is Friday 23rd October 2009.  The selection
committee will then short-list a selection of nominees in each category,
which the relevant National Governing Body (NGB)/ Local Sports
Partnership (LSP) will be requested to vet.

NGBs and LSPs are encouraged to promote the Awards among their
members/contacts and to include a link to the Awards website
on their own website.   



Football and Hurling Championship Draw for 2010.
The GAA and RTÉ have confirmed that the draws for the 2010 GAA Football and Hurling championship will be screened live on RTÉ Television after a schedule was agreed with the four provincial councils.
The draws for the two senior championships will take place in Croke
Park on Thursday (tonight) October 22 and will be broadcast live at 8.25pm on RTÉ Two television and also streamed live worldwide on RTÉ.ie.
GAA President Críostóir Ó Cuana welcomed the announcement and said: ‘We’re delighted that the draws for our inter-county championship competitions will be broadcast live on RTÉ Television. The draws generate huge interest amongst our members and followers of our games and it is always our intention to bring them to the widest audience possible.’


Sarsfields Fixtures


Thus week the U21 footballers will get their campaign underway against Leixlip in Clane at 3pm. Prior to that the Senior B team will play Naas at 1pm in the Jack Higgins Cup at 1pm in Naas. Good luck to both teams and best wishes to the management team of Conor Earley, Joe Murray and Lorcan O’Donnell who have also taken up the management of the U21 team having won the Senior B championship in their first year in charge when they successfully saw off the challenge of Moorefield last Saturday week.


 Fixtures for the Week below in full.

Congratulations to Junior Hurling team on winning the Junior Championship V
Naas on Saturday afternoon a great performance from the lads, well done to
all involved. The club wish a speedy recovery to Kelly who broke his ankle
in the match and will have an operation on his ankle tomorrow.

The senior ‘B’ team added senior division 4 title to the Championship on
Saturday with a comfortable win over Round Towers on Saturday evening. well
done to all involved. Hard luck to the junior team beaten in the semi final
of the Jack Higgins cup.

This Saturday a Re-union and Celebration night for the 1984 Junior Champions
and this years Senior Reserve Champions will take place in the Clubhouse.
Admission is €10 and music is by Bernie Heaney for more information contact
John Holden 087-2872208 or Mick Ward 086-4034439.

*On Saturday at 12.30pm our U/13’s play Athy in the League final in the
County Grounds all support welcome.*

This Saturday the girls U/13 are holding a blitz with teams from Cork,
Dublin and Leitrim participating starting at 12 noon.

The Club would like to Congratulate Dermot Early on his All- Star a
great achievement for a great year in the White Jersey.

A Halloween Disco for 1st, 2nd and 3rd years will take place on Friday 30th
of October from 8-11pm. If you can help supervise or decorate the hall
please contact Lisa ph. 085-7382043.


  Club Fixtures October 19thOctober 31st

*Saturday 24th of October*

*Jack Higgins Semi-Final @ 1pm*

* Sarsfields V Naas **Naas***

*Senior Res Div A Winners v Senior Res Div B Winners*

* *

*Saturday 24th of October*

*Under 21 Championship @ 3pm*

* Sarsfields V Leixlip **Clane***

* *

*Bord Na nOg Fixtures***

*Sunday 25th of October *

*Under 15 League Division 1  @ 11am*

*Sarsfields v Celbridge **Main Pitch*

*Wednesday 21st of October*

*Under 15 League Division 1  @ 7pm*

*Athy V Sarsfields*

*Saturday 24th of October *

*Under 13 League Division 1 Final @ 12.30pm*

*Sarsfields V Athy** **St Conleths ***

* *

*Ladies Football Fixtures*

*Under 13 Blitz on Pitch 1 and 3 *

*Sarsfields, mourne abbey,*

*Ballyboden St Enda’s and St.Joseph’s*


*All Support Welcome*


More Stupid Quotes. 


‘Because there are no fours.’
– NBA long-range gunner Antoine Walker when asked why he shoots
so many threes.



‘This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex.’
– CBS Presenter Dan Rather, on election night. 


You’ve done a nice job decorating the White House.’
– Pop star Jessica Simpson, upon being introduced to Interior Secretary Gale Norton while touring the White House   


‘I’m telling you, folks, there’s a part of me that likes this.’
War monger, American Talk radio host Rush Limbaugh, on the kidnapping of peace activists in Iraq.


‘The United States has got some of the dumbest people in the
world. I want you to know that we know that’
– Ted Turner   


‘I do know that it’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime,
you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every
black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.’
– Bill Bennett, former US Education Secretary and host of Salem
Radio Network’s ‘Bill Bennett’s Morning in America’


Strange/Bizarre/Quirkie News.


LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas. – Police said a would-be robber was in jail
after losing his wallet during the attempted robbery then
phoning the victim and asking for it to be returned. Little Rock
police said the 23-year-old man was arrested on robbery charges

Police said the man tried to rob a man at gunpoint at his home
but fled and dropped his wallet then later called and told the
man to return the wallet at a service station in North Little

Little Rock police were interviewing the victim when the call
came and notified North Little Rock police who found the suspect
outside the service station and arrested him after a short foot



PITTSBURGH – A Pittsburgh man slept as his home caught on fire
and partially collapsed. It wasn’t until firefighters did a
walk-through of the home more than two hours later that he woke
up. Ross Township Fire Marshal John Reubi said he was
‘flabbergasted’ that anyone survived the blaze.

Firefighters were initially unable to search for victims because
part of the roof collapsed. After controlling the fire,
firefighters walked through and found the man in a bedroom.
Reubi said it appeared the man had no idea what was going on.

Officials said the house had several additions, perhaps
shielding the man’s room from flames. He was treated for smoke


Sporting Quirkies



True Story:  


Mango, the Fruit of Many Mysteries

Mangos are valued for their reputation as an aphrodisiac in
countries such as Guatemala and India.
A native evergreen fruit tree of India and East Asia, the mango
is prized for its large, juicy, slightly acidic fruit, which
comes round, kidney-shaped and oblong, weighing anywhere from
six ounces to four pounds. While many people consider the mango
to be exotic, it is actually the most widely eaten fruit in the

The mango, known as the ‘food of the gods’ as long as 4,000
years ago, derives its name from the Tamil word ‘mangkay’. It
was then corrupted to ‘manga’ by Portuguese sailors. Mangos were
already something of an agricultural football, having been
passed by Buddha to the people of Malaysia. Persian traders
would take the fruits back to Africa and the Middle East. From
there, the Portuguese would take it to Brazil and the West
Indies, where it would then be carried to Florida, and
eventually across the country to California.

While the fruit is enjoyed widely, it is not entirely safe. The
latex sap irritates the hands of harvesters, and burning of the
leaves and stems can create toxic fumes. At one time Indians fed
small amounts of the leaves to cattle, and then collected their
urine, which made a special color dye. That was finally outlawed
because of the toxicity of the plant, and the fact that the cows
are sacred.

Yet the mango has been used in folk remedies in India and other
Asian countries for centuries, serving as an aphrodisiac,
treatment for parasites, asthma medication, contraception and

True Story 2.  

Blowing Off Steam

When the volcano Krakatoa off the Java islands exploded in 1883,
it was so loud that it woke some people up in South Australia.

It lurked in the Indian Ocean for centuries, a virtually unknown
volcanic island with a history of violent explosions. The island
was Krakatoa.

Part of the Sunda volcanic arc, the island of Krakatoa rose in
the ocean when there was a subduction of the Indian-Australian
plate under the Eurasian plate. It heaved, and grumbled,
deposited ash and eventually grew to a structure almost 2600′
high. Then in 416A.D. it literally blew its top, and the whole
island collapsed inwards, creating a sub-surface caldera, or
depression in the land form, that was four miles wide.
Two new islands formed from portions sticking up out of the
water. And after several centuries passed, more volcanoes began
to surface, with three merging to form the new Krakatoa, bigger,
and more dangerous than before.

May 20, 1883
Krakatoa belched smoke and ash and began a rumbling
that would continue into August. As it turned out, the seismic
activity was creating cracks in the magma chambers under the
ocean’s surface, and water leaking in was being turned to super
heated steam.

On August 26, 1883
, the first major explosion sent up a black
cloud that was observed 120km away. Less than 24 hours later,
August 27, 1883
, three more explosions would follow on the heels
of each other, all within the span of 4 1/2 hours. The last
would be the most powerful, estimated at a force of 150 megatons
of TNT. By comparison, the Hiroshima atomic bomb was only 20

Walls and windows shattered, 80 miles away. In the immediate
region of Krakatoa, ships reported a layer of pumice three feet
thick on the ocean’s surface. Tsunami waves of over 40m high,
decimated coastal centers. The explosions were heard more than
2,000 miles away in Australia, and ash was shot 50 miles up into
the atmosphere where it caused almost total darkness in the
vicinity, for two days. Thirteen days later, a belt of ash
encircled the Earth, and would cause unusual effects for years
to come.

And once more, Krakatoa sank into the sea, the main walls and
above ocean forms, destroyed by the last explosion. Left behind,
was a ‘minor’ form, eventually discovered to be an active
volcano itself. The locals named it Anak Krakatoa. Researchers
estimate it is only a matter of time, until it follows the same
explosive path as its predecessor.




Little Johnny


At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent
when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he
were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny
responded, ‘I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have
a wife.’   



Unexpected Knowledge Gained From the Movies


Next time you go to the Cinema, keep your eye out for extra information that you can pick up about every day events.  These jokes have a strange but true ring to them.

 1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

3) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

4) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

5) When someone turns out the light to go to bed, everything in their bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

6) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

7) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

8) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.


Beethoven backwards.

A woman on holiday in Vienna is walking through a graveyard on
Halloween when all of a sudden she hears music. No one is
around, so she starts looking to see where it’s coming from.

She finally locates the source and finds it is coming from a
grave with a headstone that reads, ‘Ludwig van Beethoven.’

Then she realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is
being played backward. Puzzled, she leaves the graveyard and
persuades a friend to return with her.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has
changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but it is also
being played backward.

Curious, the ladies agree to consult a music scholar. When they
return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing and the
expert concludes that the symphonies are in fact being played in
reverse order.

By the next day the word spread and a huge group gathered around
the grave to hear the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard’s caretaker approaches the group.
Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the

‘Oh, it’s nothing to worry about’ says the caretaker. ‘He’s just




Love life Problems


A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life.

The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but didn’t seem to be getting a clear picture of the problems.

Finally, he asked, ‘Do you ever watch your girlfriend’s face while you’re having sex?’

‘Well, yes, I did once.’

‘Well, how did she look?’

‘Oh boy, she looked VERY angry!’

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, ‘Well that’s very interesting, we must look into this further.

Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your girlfriend’s face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw her face that time?’

‘ I left the curtains open and she was watching us through the window.’


The Book of Lies.

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for
the next week.

Next Sunday,’ she said, ‘we are going to talk about liars, and
in preparation for the lesson, I want you all to read the
Seventeenth Chapter of Mark.’

The following week at the beginning of the class, the teacher
said, ‘Now all who have prepared for today?s lesson by reading
the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please come to the front.’ Half
the class stood up and came forward.

‘The rest of you may leave,’ said the teacher, ‘these students
are the ones I want to talk speak to. There is no Seventeenth
Chapter in the Book of Mark!’  



Foreign Holiday Notices
Here are a collection of notices in  English in hotel abroad. English can be such a difficult language to learn, just the smallest mistake can produce a hilarious joke.

In the Bedroom:
1) Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notice.
2) Please to bathe inside the tub.
3) Please leave your values at the front desk.
4) You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
5) Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In a the bar:
1) Special cocktails: For the ladies with nuts.
2) Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
3) Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
4) Special today � no ice cream.

In the Hotel Shop
1) For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
2) If this is your first visit to Tokyo, you are welcome to it.
3) Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
4) Specialist in women and other diseases
5) Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.  



Whale of a Question


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though they were a very large
mammal their throat was very small.

The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher reiterated a whale could not
swallow a human; it was impossible.

The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.’

The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’

The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him.’





Ear Infection?


They always ask at the doctor’s reception? why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what’s wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.


There’s nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients.?

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’

‘There’s something wrong with my d**k’, he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.?

‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.

The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.?
You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’

The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.?
The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.?
‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’

‘I can’t p**s out of it,’ he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter.