Sarsfields Newsletter

THE SASH Thursday September 24th  2009

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.   

Suncroft Stun Sash Seniors.

Wyeth SFC QF Suncroft 2-12 Sarsfields 0-15

By Tony Ryan

Suncroft caused the shock of the 2009 Senior Championship on Sunday morning in St. Conleth’s Park when they overcame a hotly fancied Sarsfields side by three points to reach the semi finals for the first time in their history while Sarsfields were odds on favourite to reach their third successive semi-final. Suncroft who lost their final round game against Athy and were the last team to make it through to the Quarterfinals, belied their underdog status with an outstanding team performance in which they physically out fought and outfoxed Sarsfields particularly in the vital midfield sector in the second half with Killian Brennan and Trevor Moran getting the better of the exchanges with Dermot Earley and Enda Freaney. The old cliché that goals win games was particularly apt here as David Dillon’s two excellent second half strikes were a serious blow to Sarsfields chances, one that ultimately proved fatal to Sarsfields hopes of progressing to the semi final.

Mickey Harnett opened the scoring with a pointed free for Suncroft in the first minute after a foul on Killian Brennan as he ran at the Sarsfields defence.  Two Padraig Brennan points one a  free and one from play edged Sarsfields ahead after 4 minutes. There was no further score for the next six minutes as a bit of time was spent by the players “getting to know each other”. After the introductions had been made the football resumed with Suncroft scoring  three in a row, two from Mickey Harnett .and one from full forward Anthony Toft to leave Suncroft two ahead, 4-2 after 18 minutes.

At this point Sarfields surprisingly took remedial action replacing forwards Aidan McLernan and Robbie Confrey with Morgan O’Sullivan and Alan Smith respectively. The substitutions was surprising  because it was the Sarsfields defence that was under pressure at this point with the forward living off scraps.  Although David Earley scored a fine point  in the 20^th minute to reduce the gap to a single point, the Sarsfields’ replacements made no discernible difference as Suncroft preceded to raise their performance level and scored a further three points in a row again with two from the attack leader Mickey Harnett who will have done his Kildare chances no harm with an impressive six points in total, and one from Anthony Toft to leave them 7-3 ahead with five minutes in the first half remaining.

            At this point Sarsfields needed to respond and respond they did with three successive points of their own from substitute Morgan O’Sullivan, an excellent Sean Cambell effort from 30 metres and a brilliant 40 metre point form Padraig Brennan on the stroke of  half time to leave Suncroft 7-6 ahead at the break.

            On the resumption Sarsfields were quickest off the mark and  scored three more point in succession within 5 minutes of the restart , one from David Earley and two more from Padraig Brennan to gave them a two point lead 9-7. Instead of capitalising on this good early second half start however Sarsfields allowed Suncroft to get back in contention with a fine point from centre back John Brown who waltzed through the heart of the Sarsfields defence. A minute later disaster struck for Sarsfields  when the first of David Dillon’s excellent strikes  cancelled  Sarsfields short lived lead and put Suncroft   two points ahead, 1-8 to 0-9 a lead they subsequently never surrendered.   David Dillon’s powerful shot rebounded off the right hand stanchion and back into play so quickly that it initially appeared as if the ball had struck the upright. A minute later Mickey Hartnett scored his sixth point to leave the score 1-9 to 0-9 in Suncroft’s favour and the signs even with 20 minutes remaining were ominous for Sarsfields as Killian Brennan and Trevor Moran began to get a grip at midfield. Midway through the second half Sarsfields brought on Joe O’Malley for Ray Cahill and in an effort to bolster the attack brought Chalky White to the half forward line. However while this tactical switch initially paid dividends it left Sarsfields more vulnerable at the back, a vulnerability that was exploited by Suncroft 10 minutes later when David Dillon scored his second goal.

 Sarsfields  responded with a Morgan O’ Sullivan point to reduce the deficit to 2 points. David Dillon replied with a point immediately to restore Suncroft’s advantage to 3 points, 1-10 to 0-10. Sarsfields again managed to reduce the deficit to a single point when David Earley and Morgan scored a point apiece with 7 minutes of normal time remaining. With the game finely poised it was Suncroft who had the scent of victory in their nostrils. Two minutes later the decisive score of the game came when David Dillon struck for his second goal to put Suncroft  four clear, 2-10 to  0-12 and  leaving Sarsfields visibly deflated and  with a mountain to climb in view of the fact that they had been unable to reel Suncroft in  since they had taken the lead with Dillion’s first goal strike almost 16 minutes earlier. Try though they did and it was one of Sarsfields few outstanding performers on the pitch, Padraig Brennan who led the comeback with two points in as many minutes to reduce the gap to 2 points, 2-10 to 0-14.

As the clock ran down in a tense nail biting last few minutes Sarsfields almost snatched victory when a Dermot Earley goal bound shot was somehow cleared out of defence. Sarsfields surged forward again in an effort to get a late goal. With a minute of normal time remaining, Dermot Earley was at the end of Sarsfields attack to punch over a point and leave the minimum between the sides 2-10 to 0-15. This was to be Sarsfields last score as a very determined Suncroft after their heroic efforts were not about to have victory denied them just as the crossing of the finishing the line was within their grasp; and cross it they did in style with two fine points from centre forward Tom Cleary  and fullback Michael Connelly to seal the win and deservedly earn their place in the semi-final against Moorefield. 

Seniors B Team Reaches Final

The senior B team have reached the final of the Reserve A championship and will meet Moorefield in a repeat of last year’s final after a comprehensive 4-16 to 1-5 win over Clane  in the semi-final on Tuesday night. Match report on Website tomorrow.     

Sarsfields: John Melia, Conor Duffy, Sean Cambell, (0-1) Steven Lawler, Keith Harvey, Robert Murphy, Martin Dunne, Dermot Earley, (0-1) Enda Freaney, Michael Browne, Padraig Brennan, (0-7) Aidan McLernan, Robie Confrey, David Earley,(0-2) Ray Cahill.Subs: Morgan O’Sullivan(0-4) for Aidan McLernan, Alan Smith for Robbie Confrey, (18mins) Joe O’Malley for Ray Cahill (45 mins) Alan Barry for David Earley (57 mins)

Suncroft: Andy Kiely, Johnny Corr, , Michael Connelly,(0-1) Eamonn Tyrell, Anthony Rainbow, Johnny Brown, (0-1) Mark Brown,, Trevor Moran, Killian Brennan, David Dillon (2-1) Tom Cleary (0-1), Maurice Moran, Philly Gorman, Anthony Toft (0-2), Michael Harnett (0-6 ) Referee: Liam Herbert. 

U21 Manager Position Vacant

The club is looking for an u/21 manager anybody interested in this position please  contact Sarsfields Secretary Tony McConnell. Email Sarsfields@gmail.com or Brendan Ryan Club Chairman at 087 9345109.

Re launch of the Sash Newsletter

 Due to the Senior B team’s win on Tuesday night in the Championship semi-final the re launch of the new Sash magazine/Newsletter will now be put back until after the final clash with Moorefield. It will go to print on the day after the final to allow a report of the match to go in. The response from all sections has been excellent in terms of contributions. Initially the Newsletter will contain 8 pages. The next issue after the Autumn re launch will be the Christmas edition. Deadline for contributions for the Christmas edition will be Saturday November 22^nd. Anything received after that date cannot be guaranteed of going in and will be held back until the spring edition provided it’s still topical.

Sarsfields Fixtures

Club Fixtures September 21st – September 28th

Thursday 24th of September

Under 13 League Division 2 @ 6.30pm

Clane V Sarsfields

Saturday 26th of September

Under 11 League @ 11am

Maynooth V Sarsfields

Under 15 League @ 3pm

Sarsfields V Edestown

Friday 25th of September

Snr Reserve C Football Championship Semi finals @ 7.30pm

Sarsfields V Straffen
 
North Board Autumn Leagues

 Saturday 26th of September

Under 8 Football Group 1

Sarsfields  V Leixlip @ 1.30pm Pitch 2

Under 8 Football Group 4

Carbury 2 V Sarsfields @ 1.30pm

 Under 10 Football Division 1

Sarsfields 1 V Clane 3pm Pitch 2

Under 10 Football Division 3

Maynooth 1 V Sarsfields 2 3pm

Under 12 Football Division 1

Clane V Sarsfields  4.30pm

 Sunday 27th of September

Under 9 Hurling Group 5

Maynooth 2 V Sarsfields @ 10.30am

Under 11 Hurling Division 3

Sarsfields V Sallins noon Pitch 3

 County Fixtures for Sarsfields.

 Craobh Iomána Idir-Mheánach B. 2009. Rd 5.

Saturday 26th @ 5.30pm Sarsfields main Pitch

Athy V Eire Óg
*

Sarsfields Fundraising Night at the Dogs.

Our Night at the Dogs takes place on Saturday 3rd October . Admission tickets can be purchased from the club or through team mentors at € 10.This includes entry to a draw for six excellent prizes. The purchase a dog in a race will cost €30 with admission free plus entry into an additional draw for two quality hamper.The draws based on the admission tickets will be held back at the clubhouse after the races have finished . Live music and food will be provided free. We are looking for sponsors for races and programme adds.  Race sponsorship costs € 500 and includes an add in our race programme . Adds can be purchased as follows : Full Page  € 200: Half page € 100: Quarter page € 60. .Anyone interested in sponsoring an add or a race or who can organise a sponsor. Please contact : Kevin Mc Nulty at  087 2190876 or Elaine Dillon at 045 435282. Any support you can give to this fundraiser will be much appreciated.

Sarsfields Results.

More Stupid Quotes. 

‘What is the Wall Street Journal? Is that good?’
– Paris Hilton.

‘Do I have a large frog in my hair? I have the sensation that
something is eating my brain.’
– Actor Joaquin Phoenix

‘I’ve always been a lot cleverer than what I am.’
– Samantha Fox, 80’s pop singer and page 3 model

‘Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women
easier access to the mainstream of society.’
– Rush Limbaugh American Radio Host. 

‘I can’t understand why everyone sounds like they’re singing
into a saucepan all the time. T-PAIN is singing into a saucepan.
KANYE WEST is always singing into a pan as well.’
– British actress KATE BECKINSALE on the popularity of Auto-Tune effects in hip-hop music. 

‘So Carol, you’re a housewife and mother. And have you got any
children?’
– Michael Barrymore

and Paris once more…

‘When I have a daughter I have a lot of good advice for her.’
– Paris Hilton on ‘Larry King Live,’ June 27

Strange/Bizarre/Quirkie News.  

A 16-year-old girl has bagged a 10-foot
alligator in a South Carolina swamp.

In the middle of the night. With a crossbow.

The State newspaper in Columbia reported that Cammie Colin won
one of 1,000 lottery slots for the state’s annual public
alligator harvest. Hunters are required to use a crossbow or a
harpoon. Cammie was the only person in her group authorized to shoot the
353-pound gator. The Lexington resident was with a guide, her
father, an uncle and her brother in an 18-foot boat early Sunday
in the headwaters of Lake Marion.

They have 40 pounds of alligator steak in the freezer now.

Cammie says most of her teachers are using her new nickname,
‘Killer.’

ELIZABETHTON, Tennessee, USA. – A northeast Tennessee deputy sheriff who
went to the wrong house came back with his man anyway. The
incident occurred Friday evening when Carter County Sheriff’s
Deputy Richard Barnett responded to a domestic disturbance call,
but mistakenly knocked on the door of the wrong house.

The Johnson City Press reported a 33-year-old man invited him
in. Then, the man put his hands behind his back for handcuffing
and told Barnett he was ready to go to jail, saying he had an
outstanding arrest warrant, The man appeared in court Monday and was sentenced to 40 days. He was found guilty of contempt and violating probation for
failing to pay fines and complete an anger management course
from an earlier incident.

COLUMBIA, S.C. – The mayor of a small South Carolina town says
she banned her police officers from chasing suspects on foot
after an officer was hurt running after a man.

Wellford Mayor Sallie Peake said Monday she issued the order in
August after the city had to pay for an officer who missed work
after chasing a ‘guy who had a piece of crack on him.’ She said
a drug possession charge was not worth the cost to taxpayers.
But her written order said she did ‘not want anyone chasing any
suspects whatsoever.’ The decision came after two town-issued cars were  written off within a month, although her order applies only to foot chases.

When a local TV reporter asked about the policy, Peake would not
answer and clapped her hands in mock praise that the reporter
had found a story.

Sporting Quirkies

Cricketer Hits Birdie

A Yorkshire cricket star hurled a ball towards his wicketkeeper – and killed an unlucky pigeon. The unfortunate bird was flying over Yorkshire’s Headingley ground in Leeds at the time, reports The Sun.

South African Jacques Rudolph, 28, fielded the ball just inside the boundary while playing in a Twenty20 game against Lancashire.

He hurled it to his wicket keeper – just as the bird swooped 40ft over the pitch – and, to his surprise, the ball hit the pigeon and sent it crashing to the ground.

The former South African international retrieved the lifeless bird and dropped it over the boundary rope.

Then he returned to his fielding position, grinning sheepishly at the crowd.

A TV commentator said: ‘The pigeon is no more. Jacques Rudolph is the man with blood on his hands.’

The loneliness of the male synchronised swimmer

The world’s only male synchronised swimmer is fighting international rules that have banned him from competing at London’s 2012 Olympic Games.

Niklas Stoepel, 17, is one of Germany’s top youth synchro-swimmers and the only boy in his high school team of girls in Wattenscheid.

But swimming’s international ruling body FINA has banned him from representing his country and refused to allow him to compete overseas.

‘FINA rejected the request. I believe that officials just don’t want to see any men in this sport,’ said Niklas, who shaves his legs and wears women’s costumes covered in sequins.

‘You can already sense that at the national level, many of the judges are more strict in their scoring of me than they are with my female competitors.

‘It’s not fair – but I haven’t given up my dream of one day competing in an international championship,’ he added.

True Story:

A Whale of a Delivery

The United Parcel Service shipped the killer whale Keiko (star
of Disney movie ‘Free Willy’) from Mexico City to Newport,
Oregon in 1998.

  
When Warner Bros. movie studio traveled to Mexico in 1992 to
film the low-budget movie ‘Free Willy’, they had no idea that
the story of freeing a whale from an evil amusement park owner,
would lead to UPS’ strangest parcel delivery, ever.

Not only was the movie an unexpected success, particularly with
children, but it spawned a new and vigorous interest in saving
the Killer Whale, and one in particular- Willie, or as he was
known at home, ‘Keiko’, which is Japanese for ‘lucky’.

Letters were written, campaigns were started, and with a four
million dollar donation from Warner Bros. The Free Willy-Keiko
Foundation was formed. For Willie resided in a small park in
Mexico, which was too warm for his species, and he languished
without the company of other whales, developing skin conditions,
boredom chewing of his enclosure, and other signs that his
condition was deteriorating.

The owners donated Willy/Keiko to the foundation, and a facility
was built in Oregon, where he would recuperate in an environment
more hospitable to his species. But how to get there? That’s
where UPS stepped in, and donated the services of a C-130
Hercules airplane, which in early 1996, flew their gargantuan
load to Newport, Oregon.

Once there, Keiko thrived, returning to health and gaining 2,000
pounds. Then came the next stage in his odyssey. Could Keiko be
returned to the wild? The foundation started building a facility
at Iceland, where Keiko was originally born and raised. The pen
would have a zippered door to allow him out into the bay, closed
off from the ocean with a specially constructed net. Keiko
lifted off for Iceland in late 1998,but alas, he was so large by
this time, that UPS had nothing big enough to carry him.
Instead, they donated the funds to hire the U.S. Army and a C-17
Globemaster airplane for the trip.

In 2002, Keiko returned to the wild of his own will, following a
pod to a fjord in Norway, where he remained, free to come and
go, until his death in December of 2003 from pneumonia. At age
27, he was only the second captive male orca to survive beyond
25.

 


 True Story 2. 

The Hippo and the Tortoise
A baby hippo, which was rescued after floods in Kenya, has befriended a tortoise.  The one-year-old hippo calf christened Owen was found dehydrated by wildlife rangers on the shores of the Indian Ocean.  Apparently, the rest of the Hippopotamus herd was washed out to sea.

Owen was put in an enclosure at a wildlife sanctuary in the coastal city of Mombasa, also in the enclosure was a male tortoise called Mzee.   Notice that they are both of a similar colour.  (In Swahili, Mzee means old man).

‘They sleep together, eat together and are inseparable, ‘reports park official Pauline Kimoti.’ Since Owen arrived on the 27 December, the tortoise behaves like a mother to it.’

Ms Kimoti said that if the 300kg hippo continued to thrive then in the next few weeks they would allow the public to see the unlikely pair together before they are separated.
Long term they hope to pair Owen with Cleo, a lonely female hippo who is currently in a separate enclosure.

Mzee and Owen are the latest in a series of unusual bondings in the wild that have surprised zoologists in Kenya.

Prison Life in Norway

BASTOY PRISON, Norway (Reuters) – The Web site reads like an advertisement for a holiday home.

‘Is Bastoy the place for you?’ it asks next to photographs of a sunset sparkling off the tranquil waters of the Oslo fjord and horses pulling sleighs over packed snow.

This wooded island could be — if you are a rapist, a murderer, a drug trafficker or have accepted a large bribe.

‘We try to take a cross-section of the country’s prison population, not just the nice criminals, ‘said Oyvind Alnaes, governor of the minimum security prison on Bastoy Island about 75 km (46 miles) south of the Norwegian capital.

Inmates have included Norway’s most notorious serial killer, Arnfinn Nesset, convicted of murdering 22 elderly people when he was manager of a nursing home in the 1970s. He was freed for good behaviour after serving two-thirds of a 21-year sentence.

‘A lot of people in Norway say that we treat them (the prisoners) too well because they should be punished. But this is the biggest mistake we have been making since the 1600s. Taking this line makes people bad, ‘Alnaes said.

‘You have to believe people are born good.’
The 2.6 square km (1.0 sq mile) Bastoy island offers its 115 ‘ residents’ cross-country skiing, tennis and horse-riding, but before the inmates can slope off to practise their serve or head to the beach for a swim, there is work to do on the farm.
‘We want to become the first ecological prison in the world, ‘Alnaes said.’ It’s about giving the inmates responsibility (and) trust, and teaching them respect.’

Alnaes, who wears jeans and t-shirts to work and is known to the inmates as Oyvind, says this model of open prison is the future. In 1997, he gave Bastoy Prison a new slogan: ‘An arena of the development of responsibility’ .

ESCAPE

Looking after the island’s environment, he says, will nurture this sense of responsibility in the prisoners.
‘Ecological thinking is about taking responsibility for nature, the future and how your grandchildren grow up, ‘he said.
Only a handful of cars are used by prison staff on the island and along with the ferry, their engines will be converted to biofuel. The prison’s six horses do most of the work, pulling carts driven by the prisoners, waste from the prison is used to generate power while oil heaters are being converted to wood.

The governor’s development of responsibility goes further.
‘The usual thing is that prisons are all about security, ‘he said.’ On the island, inmates work with knives and saws and axes. They need to do the work. And if an inmates increases his responsibility, you have to give him trust.’

Norway has one of the lowest incarceration rates in the world but the justice system does receive some criticism, notably for lengthy pre-trial detentions and cramped holding cells at police stations.

Rather than watching and guarding, the 69 prison employees at Bastoy work alongside the inmates until it is time to go home and from 3 p.m. every day only five remain on the island.
The onus is on the prisoners not to escape
There have been few attempts, when friends have come over in a boat during the night to pick up a prisoner, but Alnaes says making a break for it is not a smart move.

‘The prisoners understand that there is nowhere to go if they do escape. What is the alternative? Spend your life on the run or serve your time at Bastoy? And one attempted escape means you lose your right to stay here.’

Prisoners have to apply for a place at Bastoy and applicants are vetted to filter out those who could cause the most trouble.
‘That is the only place you can watch cable T.V. (in prison), ‘a short grey-haired man said, pointing to a stone building that houses the prison library.

BEACH LIFE

He watched as a dark-haired youth walked down a path towards one of the prisoners’ brightly painted wooden houses.’ He killed somebody, that guy. Not sure who, or why, though.’
The speaker was Haavald Schjerven, a former U.N. department chief convicted in 2002 of taking $550,000 (315,000 pounds) in bribes.
‘It’s OK here, ‘he said.’ It gives you time to think and reflect and, of course, I enjoy the horse-riding.’

Schjerven showed Reuters around the wood-panelled house he shares with seven other criminals, pointing out the floor heating in the shared bathroom.

Norway releases prisoners early if they serve their sentences without trouble, and for the last part of their internment, they are allowed weekend breaks with friends and family.
Schjerven had just returned from a trip to Oslo where he discussed a business plan with a friend.

‘It’s much calmer here, we have a great sea view and it’s only 150 metres to the beach.’

One of the island’s beaches is open to the public and is crowded in the summer with day-trippers. It is the only part of the island the prisoners are banned from.
There is no fence to keep curious visitors out but signs warn people against wandering around the island — nonetheless day-trippers entering the prison are a bigger problem than inmates escaping, governor Alnaes said.

Humour. 

That’s Rich

One afternoon a rich man was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, ‘Why are you eating grass?’

‘We don’t have any money for food,’ the poor man replied. ‘We have to eat grass.’ ‘Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,’ the rich man said.

‘But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.’

‘Bring them along,’ the rich man replied. Turning to the other
poor man he announced, ‘You come with us, also.’ ‘
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, ‘But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me.’

‘Bring them all, as well,’ the rich fellow answered.
They all climb in the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the rich gent and said, ‘Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.’

The rich man replied, ‘Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.’

‘Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,’ the rich man said.

‘But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.’

‘Bring them along,’ the rich man replied. Turning to the other.

Original Owner.

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mum wanted to
help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter.

When the girl got back from the date she said ‘That was the
worst night of my life!’

‘Why is that?’ her mother asked.

‘He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!’

‘Isn’t that a good thing?’  “It might be if he wasn’t the original owner!’  

These are genuine clips from Dublin City Council complaint letters – so read and enjoy how others put their thoughts into words …

Sent in by Leo Kennedy

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2. He’s got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.

3. Its the dog’s mess that I find hard to swallow.

4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof… I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it, yesterday, and now she is pregnant.

11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers

14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces…

17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6:00 a…m. his cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me.

18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction.

23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can’t get BBC2.

Guide Dogs. . .The not so blind leading the not so blind.