THE SASH Thursday April 14th 2011
The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.
Floodlight Planning Permission Granted
Permission from Kildare County Council has been granted to erect Floodlighting in Sarsfields. The fundraising deadline is May 31st. Providing sufficient funds are secured the floodlight committee can then begin to bargain with floodlighting providers for the best price / service. The aim of the committee is to have everything operational by September when the shorter evenings begin. Don’t forget a table quiz organised by the Floodlighting Committee takes place next Thursday April 21st at 8pm.
Leinster Leader SFL Division 1: Sarsfields 2-14 Johnstownbridge 1-8
Tony Ryan
In Round 2 of the Leinster Leader SFL league Division 1 on Saturday evening last in Sarsfields Park, an impressive Sarsfields had a comfortable nine points to spare over a spirited Johnstownbridge side. Though the final score did flatter Sarsfields to an extent as Johnstownbridge in a ten minute spell of dominance in the second half didn’t do themselves justice with their failure to convert possession into scores.
In early skirmishes the teams swapped points on two occasions to leave them all square at 0-2 apiece. However after senior rookie Declan McKenna scored a point in the 10th minute to put Sarsfields noses in front by 0-3 to 0-2 they were subsequently never headed. With Caoimghin McDonnell enjoying aerial dominance at midfield the Sarsfields forwards received an uninterrupted supply of quality ball throughout most of the first half.
Sarsfields tacked on four successive points to open a 0-7 to 0-2 lead just past the midway point of the half. Then a rare attack against the run of play into the Sarsfields half in the 19th minute resulted in Johnstownbridge’s only goal of the game when half forward Niall Vaughan pounced with an with a powerful shot from the edge of the square to reduce the deficit to just two points, 0-7 to 1-2.
However the Johnstownbridge comeback was short lived as referee Noel McKenna after consulting with the umpires awarded Sarsfields a penalty for an off the ball foul on Sarsfields full forward, Robbie Confrey. Centre back Keith Harvey coolly and confidently slotted the resultant kick past Johnstownbridge goalkeeper Ian Farrell to restore Sarsfields five point advantage. Sarsfields stretched their lead to six points with a Declan McKenna free but Michael Donnelly replied with a fine point just before the break to leave Sarsfields ahead at half time by 1-9 to 1-4.
After the break Johnstownbridge began to match Sarsfields in terms of possession but though they tried valiantly to reduce their arrears, each time they scored Sarsfields responded in kind. When Johnstownbridge’s cause was not helped by a number of missed point scoring opportunities from scorable positions their midfield and half forwards then resorted to carrying the ball into the full forward line in an effort to get a goal and salvage something from a game that was moving inexorably out of their reach as the final quarter approached. The Sarsfields defence had the measure of the Johnstownbridge attack except on the two occasions that the Sarsfields last line of defence was breached but Sarsfields goalkeeper Gavin Slicker made two brilliant point blank saves to deny Johnstownbridge one of which resulted in a ’45 which subsequently fell short and was cleared.
When Sarsfields half forward John Geraghty scored 1-1 within a couple of minutes to give Sarsfields an unassailable 2-14 to 1-6 lead with less than five minutes of normal time remaining the wind was taken of Johnstownbridge’s sails and they visibly wilted. Urged on by their manager former Kildare star Paddy O’Donoghue, Johnstownbridge did manage though to score two late points deep in injury time from their best forward Wayne Leonard and midfielder Shane Hurley to reduce Sarsfields’ margin of victory to single figures.
Sarsfields: Gavin Slicker, John Kavanagh, Niall O’Callaghan, Conor Duffy, Robert Murphy, Keith Harvey 1-0, Aidan McLernan, Sean Cambell 0-1, Caoimghin McDonnell, John Geraghty 1-4 (1f), Eoin O’Sullivan 0-2 (2 ‘45’s )Michael Browne, Padraig Brennan 0-1 (f), Robbie Confrey 0-1, Declan McKenna 0-5 (2f). Subs: Niall Hedderman for Eoin O’Sullivan (inj 25 mins), Padraig Scully for John Kavamagh (inj 45 mins) Dan Nea for Robbie Confrey (56 mins)
Johnstownbridge: Ian Farrell, JP Mullen, Noel Cawley, James O’ Conner, Mickey Donnelly 0-1, Will Holton, Des Holton, Padraig Hurley, Shane Hurley 0-3 Harry Moran (1f), Eoin O’Donoghue, Niall Vaughan 1-0, Wayne Leonard 0-3, Jimmy Farrell, Cathal McNally 0-1. Subs: Paul Murphy for Noel Cawley (39 mins) Dan Holton for Harry Moran (47 mins), Darran Murphy for JP Mullen (49 mins) Referee Noel McKenna, Ballyteague.
Féile A Semi Final: Sarsfields 6-10 Clane 3-15 AET
Tony Ryan
In a tremendously exciting Féile A semi-final in Sarsfields Park on Sunday morning last 2010 champions, Sarsfields came from three points down in extra time to defeat a fancied Clane side by four points. It was a pulsating tussle between two stylish teams with great passages of play and with the lead changing on several occasions. There were some outstanding individual performances particularly from Clane midfielder Eaton O’Donoghue , corner forward Brian McLoughlin and Sarsfields wing back James Healey and five goal full forward hero Peter Howard. Overall though, both teams deserve great credit for the fantastic spectacle and effort with the outcome in doubt right up until the final minutes
Sarsfields looked to have finally overcome the stubborn resistance of Clane when they led by 4-8 to 1-11 with less than five minutes of normal time remaining but two Clane goals brought the game into extra time At half time in extra time Clane led by 3-15 to 4-9. In the second half Peter Howard’s fifth goal gave Sarsfields the edge but it took substitute Josh Francis’ goal two minutes from time to finally separate the teams and send Sarsfields into the final for the second consecutive year.
Sarsfields: Colm Gavin, David Marnell, Tadgh McQuillen, Sean Browne, James Healy, Gary Maguire, Owen O’Connor, Conor Hartnett, Shay Ryan 0-3, Eoin Donnolly, Conan Hayes 0-4, Rory O’Donnell, Gavin Maher, Peter Howard, 5-1, Stephen Creaton 0-1 Subs:Brian McDonnell for Gavin Maher, Keith Doyle for Owen Donnolly (Inj) Josh Francis 1-0 for Stephen Creaton.
Clane: Robbie Phillips, Brian Corbert, Patrick O’ Sichiu, Colin Smith, Kyle Doddy , Chris Byrne, Keith O’Neill, Danny Callan 1-1. Eaton O’ Donoghue 0-5, Ronnie Hyland 0-2 Ciaran Flaherty 0-1, Enda O’Connell, Darryl Callan 1-2, Brian McLoughlin 1-1, Ciaran Kelly 1-3
Leinster GAA News
GAA HEROES GATHER TO LAUNCH SIXTH YEAR OF VHI GAA CÚL CAMPS
OVER 80,000 CHILDREN EXPECTED TO TAKE PART IN VHI GAA CÚL CAMPS THIS SUMMER
Registration opens today for VHI GAA CÚL Camps
Tuesday 12th April 2011: The 2011 Vhi GAA Cúl Camps were officially launched this morning in Croke Park by Uachtarán Chumann Lúthchleas Gael Criostóir Ó Cuana and Declan Moran of Vhi Healthcare. With over 1,000 camps taking place in Ireland and overseas, and over 80,000 children aged 6 – 13 years participating, the Vhi GAA Cúl Camps are the most popular children’s sporting camps in the country.
This is the sixth year of the massively popular Vhi GAA Cúl Camps and GAA heroes Dublin Hurling Manager Anthony Daly and Kildare Football Manager Kieran McGeeney were on-hand to launch the event in their official capacity as Vhi GAA Cúl camps ambassadors. The ambassadors will travel around the summer camps visiting the participants and passing on valuable tips and advice.
Now in its sixth year, the Vhi GAA Cúl Camps is a nationally co-ordinated programme which aims to encourage primary school children between the ages of 6 and 13, to develop sporting skills irrespective of their skill level or ability and also to develop a sense of sporting fair play and personal achievement by participating in various Gaelic games, in a fun, non competitive environment.
Speaking at the launch, GAA President Criostóir Ó Cuana said; ‘The Vhi GAA Cúl Camps initiative is an excellent venture that allows young children across the country to engage with our games, in some cases for the first time. Key to the success of the GAA is participation at all levels and a prime example of this is the Vhi GAA Cúl Camps, where primary school children participate alongside coaches and GAA heroes. Hopefully learning the skills along the way will make them lifelong GAA supporters.’
Declan Moran, Director of Marketing and Business Development, Vhi Healthcare commented; ‘The Vhi GAA Cúl Camps are a marvellous example of the power of sport in our personal lives and in the wider community. By getting children involved in the GAA early in their lives they are putting the building blocks in place for healthy living, as well as developing a sense of community that is part and parcel of GAA activities right throughout the country.
‘This year the Vhi and GAA decided to lower the age that children could register to six years old as we have seen over the past five years that the skills picked up in the Vhi GAA Cúl Camps; healthy living, exercise, a respect for others and a sense of fair play can be accessed and applied by the youngest members of our communities across the country’
The 2011 Vhi GAA Cúl Camps are expected to be extremely popular with huge demand already coming through and parents are advised to book early to ensure they get a place at the camp of their choice.
Commenting on the Vhi GAA Cúl Camps, Anthony Daly, Dublin Hurling Manager, said: ‘This is my third year working with the Vhi GAA Cúl Camps as an ambassador for the programme and I am looking forward to being involved again this year. I believe that the camps are a vital initiative to ensuring the continued development and growth of GAA in clubs around the country. I visited a number of camps last year in my role as ambassador and I was delighted to see the level of enthusiasm that the children taken part in them had for GAA. I have no doubt 2011 will be no different.’
Details of the dates for the Sarsfields Cúl Camps will be made available shortly.
Sarsfields Fixtures for this Week.
Thursday 14th April
Intermediate Hurling League
Sarsfields v Kill in Sarsfields at 6.45pm
Friday April 15th
Under 10 Hurling League
Salins v Sarsfields in Sallins at 7pm
Saturday 16th April
Under 12 Girls Football League
Sarsfields v Milltown in Sarsfields at 12 noon
Under 9 Boys Football League
Sarsfields v Cappagh in Sarsfields at 2pm
Under 11 Boys Football League
Sarsfields v Sallins in Sarsfields at 4.45pm
Sarsfields compete in
Under 14 Girls Football Feile in Hawkfield
Senior Football League Div 1
St Kevins v Sarsfields in St Kevins at 6pm
Sunday 17th April
Under 8 Hurling league
Sarsfields v Sallins in Sarsfields at 10.30am
Under 9 Hurling League
Sarsfields v Kilcock in Sarsfields at 10.30am
Under 12 Hurling League
Sarsfields v Kilcock in Sarsfields at 12 noon
Monday 18th April
Senior Football League Div 5
Sarsfields v Raheens in Sarsfields at 7pm
Intermediate Camogie League
Sarsfields v Naas in Sarsfields at 7pm
Tuesday 19th April
Senior Football League Div 3
Sarsfields v Sallins in Sarsfields at 7pm
Ladies Senior Football League
Sarsfields v Confey in Sarsfields at 7pm
Sarsfields Notes
Best wishes from all in Sarsfields to Dermot Earley as he bids to recover once again from cruciate ligament damage sustained last week.
It was a busy and successful weekend of action for Sarsfields teams over the weekend. The U16 footballers had a 1-13 to 0-12 win over Moorefield on Friday night. The U12 Boys A defeated Ballyna 2-12 to 1-3 in while the B team recorded a 2-12 to 1-3 victory over Naas on Saturday. The senior footballers beat Johnstownbridge by 2-14 to 1-8 on Saturday evening in St Conleth’s Park. Next league game is away to St Kevin’s on Sunday next at 3pm. On Sunday morning after a very exciting game that went to extra time the U14 Boys Féile team beat a very impressive Clane team in the semi final by 6-10 to 3-15. They will now play Athy on Easter Sunday in St. Conleth’s Park. in a repeat of last years decider. Newly promoted Sarsfields intermediate hurlers opened their 2011 league campaign in style with a comprehensive 4-14 to 0-1 win over Rós Glas on Thursday night. Congratulations to Sash U14 Girls, Emma Lyons (Capt.), Molly Price, Gemma Harnett, Shauna Kendrick Emily Aulsberry, Laura Scales, and Mentors, Dave Price, Karen Brady and Paddy Scales who have qualified for the Leinster Final with the Kildare U14 girls after a convincing win over Wexford 5-9 to 3 4 on Sunday.
A mass for all deceased members will be held in the clubhouse on Thursday April 28th at 8pm.
Well done to Gary Shaw who represented Sarsfields having being chosen as Kildare mascot for the Kildare/ Sligo final round league Division 2 game on Sunday last.
Would all managers please ensure that all midweek results are sent to PRO Tony Ryan at tonyr06@eircom.net by Thursday night at the latest in view of the new Friday deadline for submissions to the Leinster Leader.
The funding deadline for the Floodlights project has now been extended to 31st May 2011. To date the Floodlight Committee have had a fantastic response and Padraig Brennan on behalf of the Committee would like to thank to all who have supported the project so far so far and asks all other members to support the project as best as they can. All contributions, no matter how big or small are significant and very much appreciated.
The Underage Academy continue every Saturday at 10.30am throughout the spring and summer up until Saturday 29th Oct. Well done to Sarsfields U10 footballer Alan Shaw who has been chosen in the County Draw to pick Kildare mascots for all Kildare Football and Hurling League home games. Alan will be a mascot for Kildare’s last home game of the National Football League against Sligo on Sunday next April 10th.
Sarsfields Intermediate hurlers after their highly successful season last year, winning the Intermediate B Championship have resumed training prior to the start of theis seasons’ league campaign.. Training takes place every Tuesday 7pm. Any new players or any hurler who has recently come to live in Newbridge and who would be interested in joining a dedicated group of hurlers are very welcome. For more information call Manager Denis Lahart on Barney Breslin on 087-2299887 or Dinny O’Callaghan on 087-9352741.
Sarsfields membership 2011 is now due. The membership fee for 2011 is unchanged. All player memberships include a player/gym contribution of €30 for juveniles and €60 for adults. Adult Member – €60. Adult Player – €120. Student Player – €70. Unemployed Player – €60. Retired Member – €10. Juvenile Member (U6-U9) – €30. Juvenile Player (U10-U18)-€60. Family Membership – €70 + player/gym contributions for relevant family members. Players who are not registered members of the club are not insured to train or play. For further details on registration please contact the registrar Kathleen (Ollie) Ryan – 086 2641115. Contact Kathleen or Christy Horan 087 9249884
Lotto results for Monday April 4th. Numbers Drawn: 19, 20,23,30. Lotto value: €12,000. No Jackpot Winner. €100: Christy Horan. €40 Each: Liam O’Callaghan, Sean Brennan c/o Seamus Wilson, Paddy Wright. €25 Frank Monaghan.
Sasrsfields On Facebook
Sarsfields now have 700 Fans on Facebook.
Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website or by Googling Sarsfields GAA Facebook.
More Stupid Quotes.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.
Donald Rumsfeld – This comment before the war in Iraq won the US Secretary of Defence the 2003 Award for Gobbledygook from the Plain English Campaign.
Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, October 16, 1929.
Whatever happens, the U.S. Navy is not going to be caught napping.
Frank Knox, U.S. Secretary of the Navy, on December 4, 1941.
Airplanes are interesting toys, but they have no military value.
Marshal Ferdinand Foch in 1911.
Sarsfields Floodlights Fundraiser
A table quiz fund raiser for the Floodlights takes place on the 21st April (Holy Thursday) at 8pm. A table of 4 is €40 and there will be a raffle with spot prizes.
More Stupid Quotes.
True Story
Strange but True Facts
In 1783 an Icelandic eruption threw up enough dust to temporarily block out the sun over Europe.
About 20 to 30 volcanoes erupt each year, mostly under the sea.
A huge underground river runs underneath the Nile, with six times more water than the river above.
Lake Bosumtwi in Ghana formed in a hollow made by a meteorite.
Beaver Lake, in Yellowstone Park, USA, was artificially created by beaver damming.
Off the coast of Florida there is an underwater hotel. Guests have to dive to the entrance.
Venice in Italy is built on 118 sea islets joined by 400 bridges. It is gradually sinking into the water.
The Ancient Egyptians worshipped a sky goddess called Nut.
The world’s windiest place is Commonwealth Bay, Antartica.
In 1934, a gust of wind reached 371 km/h on Mount Washington in New Hampshire, USA.
American Roy Sullivan has been struck by lighting a record seven times.
The desert baobab tree can store up to 1000 litres of water in its trunk.
The oldest living tree is a California bristlecone pine name ‘Methuselah’. It is about 4600 years old. The largest tree in the world is a giant sequoia growing in California. It is 84 meters tall and measures 29 meters round the trunk. The fastest growing tree is the eucalyptus. It can grow 10 meters a year.
The Antartic notothenia fish has a protein in its blood that acts like antifreeze and stops the fish freezing in icy sea.
The USA uses 29% of the world’s petrol and 33% of the world’s electricity.
The industrial complex of Cubatao in Brazil is known as the Valley of Death because its pollution has destroyed the trees and rivers nearby.
Tibet is the highest country in the world. Its average height above sea level is 4500 meters.
Some of the oldest mountains in the world are the Highlands in Scotland. They are estimated to be about 400 million years old.
Fresh water from the River Amazon can be found up to 180 km out to sea.
The White Sea, in Russia, has the lowest temperature, only -2 degrees centigrade. The Persian Gulf is the warmest sea. In the summer its temperature reaches 35.6 degrees centigrade.
There is no land at all at the North Pole, only ice on top of sea. The Arctic Ocean has about 12 million sq km of floating ice and has the coldest winter temperature of -34 degrees centigrade.
The Antarctic ice sheet is 3-4 km thick, covers 13 million sq km and has temperatures as low as -70 degrees centigrade.
Over 4 million cars in Brazil are now running on gasohol instead of petrol. Gasohol is a fuel made from sugar cane.
Humour
Urban Myth about how Dylan was shown-up at his local Supermarket.
Dylan is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and is giving him a big ‘hello’.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although her face is vaguely familiar, Dylan can’t place where he might know her from, so he says, ‘Sorry, do you know me?’
She replies, ‘I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children’
Dylan’s mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, ‘Blimey!’ he says, ‘Did we meet on Frank�s stag do in Newport? Dylan continued, ‘When I got out of the police station and got back to the hotel room you had gone.’
No, ‘she replies, ‘I’m your son’s English Teacher’
Marriage Jokes and One-liners
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. (Henny Youngman) [For those who do not know him, Henny Youngman was an American stand up comedian.]
The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)
Any husband who says. ‘My wife and I are completely equal partners,’ is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. (Bill Cosby)
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner)
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Milton Berle)
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (George Burns)
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, ‘There’s water in the carburetor.’ I said, ‘Where’s the car?’ She said, ‘In the lake.’ (Henny Youngman)
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. (Phyllis Diller)
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. (Henny Youngman)
The Four Cats!
T-Square, Spreadsheet, Measure and Coffee Break
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second an Accountant, the third a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,’Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said
‘Measure, do your stuff.’ Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8oz. without spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, ‘What can your cat do?’
The Government Employee called his cat Coffee Break and said ‘do your stuff.’
Coffee Break jumped to his feet…
He drank the milk ate the cookies, and then beat up the other three cats. Later he claimed he injured his back while doing so, so he filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
Colemanballs (Named after gaffes by David Coleman)
‘Peru score their third, and it’s 3-1 to Scotland.’ David Coleman, BBC, 1978 World Cup finals.
‘And in the other group match, Uruguay and Spain drew love-all’ – Female announcer.
‘Apart from their goals, Norway haven’t scored’ – Terry Venables
‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it – you can see it all over their faces’ – Ron Atkinson
‘Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball’ – Ian St John
When Ian Rush transferred from Chester to Liverpool he said, ‘It was like moving to a foreign country’. People only took notice of Ian’s views when he said a similar thing after he moved from Liverpool to Juventus. ‘I could not settle, it was like being in a foreign country’.
‘If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can’t swim’ – Berti Vogts, Germany coach.
‘I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body’ (Winston Bennett)
‘Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds – totally against the run of play’ (Peter Lorenzo)
Jesus Knows You’re Here
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his
flashlight around, looking for valuables
when a voice in the dark said,
‘Jesus knows you’re here.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight
off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and
continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard
‘Jesus is watching you.’
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking
for the source of the voice.
…………………………….
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to
rest on a parrot
‘Did
you say that?’ he hissed
at the parrot.
‘Yep’, the parrot confessed,
then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is
watching you.’
The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me,
huh? Who in the world are you ?’
‘Moses,’
replied the bird.
‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed.
‘What kind of people would name a bird
Moses?’
‘The kind of people that would name a
Rottweiler Jesus.’
Funeral Cortege
Two friends are fishing near a bridge.
Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of
The men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head.
When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing.
His mate turns to him and says,
‘ Dave, that’s one of the nicest most respectful things I’ve ever seen ‘
Dave replies, ‘ Well we were married for nearly 20 years ‘
Thanks to Leo Kennedy for the above two.
