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Sarsfields Newsletter.

November 8, 2018

 

THE SASH  July 29th 2008

 

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.

 

 

Kildare 1-11 Limerick 0-11

John Doyle’s second-half goal proved the difference as Kildare saw off
Limerick’s brave challenge at the Gaelic Grounds to take their place in
the third round of the All-Ireland SFC Qualifiers.

Inspired by the sound-free taking of star forward Ian Ryan, Limerick
lead by four points in the early stages of the second-half, but a brace
of points from Doyle and one from last week’s goal hero James Kavanagh
saw them creep back to within a point of the Treaty County after the
first quarter of the half.

 


Ryan responded with a free, but when Doyle hit the net there was no
coming back for the hosts as Kieran McGeeney’s charges played some good
possession football in closing stages to hold out for a three-point win.

The game was a mere 25 seconds old before Limerick midfielder John
Galvin pointed Mickey Ned O’Sullivan’s men into the lead. Three white
flags (1 ’45) from Doyle followed, but Ian Ryan and Sean Buckley
levelled the game soon after.

Limerick then began to edge proceedings with Ryan and en superb effort
from Buckley regaining them the lead.

Kildare sent over points from Alan Smith and Doyle in response, but
James Ryan ensured a lead of 0-8 to 0-5 for the home side after
gathering quickly the ball and firing over.

Ian Ryan would see a goal chance crash off the post before the break,
while Ken Donnelly had an effort to bring the teams level at the break
denied by the Limerick net-minder.

An early Ian Ryan free got the second-half underway after John Galvin
had been impeded in a suitable position.

However, Two Doyle white flags either side of James Kavanagh’s score got
the game back to the minimum margin for the Lilywhites.

Ryan and Michael Foley traded scores before Doyle stormed up field to
release an waiting Doyle who netted the game’s only goal 13 minutes from
time. Both Ryan (free) and Doyle put over classy efforts to maintain the
gap at two, with just a kick of the ball maybe defining the game.

However, Gary White was right on cue for Kildare as they held on
strongly for possession and released the substitute who all but assured
them of a place of in the last 12 of the All-Ireland SFC.



Why is the Casualty rate among GAA Managers increasing sharply?
By Martin Breheny

 We still haven’t reached the end of July and eight managers are already
gone. They are: John Maughan (Roscommon), Justin McCarthy (Waterford),
Damian Fox (Laois), Tommy Jordan (Sligo), Colm Coyle (Meath), Pat Roe
(Offaly), Donal Keoghan (Cavan) and Luke Dempsey (Longford). By the end
of the championship the casualty rate could reach 20, which would be a
record for any one season.

Isn’t it inevitable that championship exits are followed by managerial
departures?

Yes, but the sheer scale of this year’s carnage is unprecedented.
Besides, Maughan left before the end of March, while McCarthy and Fox
quit while Waterford and Laois were still in the championship. The GAA
is in new territory when managers don’t even see out the season.

Why did those three leave prematurely?

Maughan resigned after coming in for criticism in Roscommon as results
went wrong in the league. A small — but vocal — section of the
supporters took to abusing him at games. There were rumours too of a
possible heave at County Board level.

McCarthy was the victim of player power as the Waterford squad rebelled
after the defeat by Clare in the first round of the Munster
championship. He had led Waterford to three Munster titles in six
seasons, a record for Waterford, but it counted for nothing once the
players decided they wanted him out. It was all over in a few days as
McCarthy resigned rather than head into a war he couldn’t win.

Fox was dismayed by the poor response to training after the defeat by
Offaly in the Leinster championship and with only small number of
players turning up to prepare for the qualifiers, he felt it was
pointless carrying on.

Has that early carnage had a knock-on effect?  Almost certainly. Five more managers have quit since then and there are
more to follow. A lack of success is nearly always blamed on the
manager. Players can use it to deflect attention from themselves while
County Boards are seen to be doing something by changing manager. There
might be no logical basis for change, but it placates callers to radio
phone-ins, an anonymous species that seem to have disproportionate power
in a whole range of areas.

So managers are never to blame when things go wrong?

Of course they are. But unlike squads and county boards who can hide
behind their colleagues and each other, the manager is left out front,
holding a very large can on his own. It’s a lonely place but then it’s a
very privileged position when things go right. Just as managers are
dumped with excessive blame when teams lose, they receive too much
credit for success. The balance is all wrong.

Why so?

It’s the soccer syndrome. GAA managers are now viewed like their
counterparts in professional soccer. Win and you’re a hero — lose and
you’re out. In between doesn’t exits.

Surely it’s not a fair to compare GAA and soccer managers?

Of course not. GAA managers have to work with the hand they’re dealt.
They shape the team from within existing resources and can’t buy in
players as in soccer, but try telling that to a disillusioned supporters
as he phones ‘Take Your Point’ on RTE as he returns home from a game on
Sunday evening.

So, what should be the precise blueprint for a GAA manager?

To get as much as possible from the talent at his disposal. That
involves selecting the right squad, preparing them properly and setting
them up on match days in such a way that they deliver to their maximum
potential.

Will that secure his position?

Not unless the team does well. Nobody seems to accept that there’s a
limit to what a particular group of players can achieve, however well
they’re trained or coached. If every manager was brilliant to the point
of being infallible, some teams would still lose first round provincial
games and first round qualifiers because that’s the nature of sport. The
most basic principle of all, the one which recognises that some players
and teams are actually better than others, seems to be totally forgotten
in modern-day Gaelic Games.

How long do team managers survive in the one position?

If you’re Sean Boylan, 23 years! Mick O’Dwyer was 15 years with Kerry,
10 years with Kildare (in two comings), four years with Laois and is
heading for his third year with Wicklow. Brian Cody is in his 10th
season with Kilkenny. A winning manager will survive for a long time,
but the pressure tap is opened on those who don’t deliver substantial
gains in two years.

Why so?

With counties getting a second chance in the championship each season
tends to be viewed as two campaigns. Unless a manager is successful,
that definitely reduces his prospects of being retained for a third
year.

Did managers get longer to make their mark in the pre-qualifier days?

In many cases, yes. Take Sean Boylan for example. His third season with
Meath in 1985 ended with a 10-point defeat by Laois in the Leinster
semi-final, yet he was retained. He would, of course, have had a second
chance under the current system and who knows how Meath might have fared
if that were the case.

Cork hurlers didn’t appear to have advanced very much under Jimmy
Barry-Murphy in 1996-97-98, but the County Board retained faith in one
of their favourite sons and were rewarded with an All-Ireland win in
1999. In fairness to Cork, they have always shown loyalty to managers
(although Teddy Holland might not agree). Larry Tompkins was give seven
seasons (1997-2003) with the footballers, during which they failed to
win an All-Ireland. Then again, they weren’t good enough and the Cork
board acknowledged that by leaving Tompkins to do the best he could.

What’s wrong with the rapid changeover of managers?

Nothing if it’s made for the right reasons, but it’s abundantly clear
that it’s becoming a case of change for change’s sake in some counties.
It’s also a revolving door syndrome. New manager appointed. Nothing won
in two years. Manager replaced. Either that or he’s given one more year
with an unspoken ultimatum to deliver or else. Things don’t go well in
the league and while he’s allowed to continue for the championship,
moves are already under way to find his successor.

Hang on now, how many managers are actually voted out?

In fairness, not many. But then they know what’s coming and jump before
they are pushed. It makes it easier all round. However, there would be
quite a few unseemly scrambles if managers tried to hang on when the
mood is against them.

So being a manager is a tough job?

Absolutely. Given their incredible input there are some genuine reasons
why they should be financially rewarded.

You mean they aren’t?

Some are (although not officially), but many aren’t. As a general rule,
managers operating within their own counties are on basic expense rates.
That’s not to say that all managers who cross county boundaries are
pocketing fortunes, but there’s certainly more scope for ‘bonuses’.
There has always been a focus on alleged payments to ‘outside’
inter-county managers, but the truth is that in an overall context far
more is being paid to club managers, some of whom look after more than
one team.

So what does the future hold for managers?

More of the same. In fact the turnover rate could accelerate. Many
counties will have at least five managers over the next 10 years while
there’s also likely to be an increase in mid-season changes.

So why does anybody want a job which carries so much responsibility and
where only a minority succeed?

Because the dream never dies. Every manager thinks he will be the one to
lift whatever boat he boards, irrespective of how much tide he can call
on.

 

 

Leinster GAA News

New  GAA Technological Imitative.


 By Colm Keys
 
The GAA is to start rolling out new technological initiatives that will
enable the association to become much less dependent on paper trails.

The GAA’s IT committee have published a blueprint that will help the
association to embrace the information technology age in a much more
sustained way.

From SMS text messaging service to e-registering of all GAA members and
widening the scope of the GAA website the head of the IT committee,
Ulster vice president Aogan Farrell, promises ‘a much easier life for
everyone’.

Farrell and his committee have been working on the document extensively
over the last year and got broad Management approval to start rolling
out the new initiatives.

Critically there will be central funding for all new ventures proposed.

‘This isn’t an aspirational document like some of those produced before.
This is actually going to happen. In fact it is happening at present,’
says Farrell.

The biggest advance will be the registering of all members by the end of
2008 that will provide the GAA with its most accurate database ever of
its membership.

‘If you asked anyone in Croke Park what the exact membership of the GAA
is they couldn’t tell you because it is almost impossible to tell.

But hopefully by the end of the year we’ll be able to tell, not only how
many members there are but how many U-16 hurlers there are in Waterford
or how many 18-21-year-olds there are in Longford at the touch of a
button,’ says Farrell.

‘It will give the association enormous scope in the future to have this
information so readily available.’

The GAA has already done a deal with Belfast-based company Servasports
to provide the software for the initiative.

The SMS text messaging service will complement this and provide every
club in the country with a service ‘far cheaper than you can currently
buy on the High Street,’ according to Farrell.

‘We’ve had done a great deal on text bundling. Every member registered
will have his or her own unique number to operate this. We’ve already
piloted it in a number of counties — Derry, Down, Armagh, Fermanagh,
Leitrim, Kilkenny and Tipperary and it has worked very well.’

Other initiatives earmarked are expansion of the GAA website to make
information on coaching, games development, grants, transfers and best
practice more accessible. An e-newsletter is also in the pipeline.

‘The GAA president Nickey Brennan has already acknowledged that there
can be a problem getting information down to the membership and there
was criticism of this during the debate on the welfare expenses,’ said
Farrell. ‘But the concept of an e-newsletter should help this.’

Initiatives on ticketing are also proposed with loyalty schemes for
members.

‘The two words I would associate with all of this is timely and
accurate. That’s how we aim to deliver information from now on,’ says
Farrell.

He added: ‘In the past this has been talked about but Management have
sanctioned and will fund it all. The key to it all is training of
officers and that too will be funded.’

 

 

 

Coaches Corner

Specificity – Training for the Games you Play

 

When an individual trains regularly, their body adapts in response to the training. How their body adapts is specific to the type of activity, which they performed. Training aimed at improving strength will have little impact on speed.

The principle of specificity states that training should be devised to ‘train’ the specific muscles and systems of the body in a manner that is similar to how these systems are used during competition, in other words improvements will occur in the muscles, which are used during the exercise. For example a sprinter would not run several miles when his aim is to improve speed and power. Similarly it is of little benefit to a swimmer to undergo running training as swimming mainly involves the upper body and running involves the lower body.

Training programs should aim at developing the fitness attributes that are required for optimal performance in a certain sport. In Gaelic Games it is common to hear of training sessions involving numerous laps of football fields. Such laps will assist the endurance demands placed on players in a game. The fitness component of endurance, often referred to as aerobic fitness or stamina, will allow players to recover quickly between short bursts of play and to perform repeated bursts without fatigue. Training endurance means that more oxygen is being supplied to the muscles, which can be used to produce more energy.

However, it is important to note that Gaelic Games involve other fitness components than just endurance. Other components such as speed and strength are required for optimal performance in Gaelic Games. Frequent quick starts and sudden stops, together with changes in speed and direction are typical of Gaelic Games. Speed is commonly viewed as the ability to cover a certain distance in the shortest possible time. However in Gaelic Games, a player who can cover 30 meters in the shortest time may not necessarily be the fastest player in the game situation as other aspects of the game, such as ball control and tackling, will affect a player’s game speed.

Strength training is also important of Gaelic players to gain and maintain possession and to properly perform the skills of the game, such as the high catch. Strength training forms a base for agility, power, defending, and breaking runs. Physical fitness is particular sport, which are required to perform optimally.

An ideal training situation is to integrate fitness training with skill development and tactical prowess. What is trained in practice will be performed in the competitive situation.

 

 

TV3 GAA Fixtures


 2/8/2008 Round 3 Qualifiers AIFC

 

On RTE: The Sunday Game Live Fixtures

July 26 All Ireland Qualifiers

July 27 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship Quarter-Finals

Aug 2/3/ All Ireland Qualifiers

Aug 9 All Ireland Senior Football Championship Quarter-Finals

Aug 10 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 17 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 24 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 31 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Semi-Finals

Sept 7 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Finals

Sept 14 All Ireland Senior Camogie Final

Sept 21 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Finals

 

Sarsfields Fixtures for the coming week.

No Club fixtures during the week and this weekend.

 

Pitches Closed

This weekend  all pitches  are closed for matches and training. This is to allow work to be carried out on all pitches.

Any managers organizing challenge matches please inform Brian Dempsey on 087-2848396  while Brendan Ryan is on Holidays this week.

 

 

 

GAA and other Quotes.

“Thurles is nearly empty now but there is a great buzz around the place as we get ready for the football qualifier draw”. RTE reporter Marty Morrissey speaking on the pitch in Thurles before last Sunday’s draw.

 

‘He can take the ball from one end of the field to the other with just the player’s occupations.’
        – Jack O’Shea, on Michael O’Muircheartaigh’s unique style

‘Any word of the (Clogherhead) Dreadnoughts Sean? Will they ever take on the Man-O-War?’
        – Sean Og O Ceallachain, quoting reactions to his radio club result broadcasts.

‘Paidi O’Se is buttoned up like the most devout girl in the Amish community when it came to the pre-final interview.’
        – Tom Humphries.

‘The first time I brought the boys to a match they were chocked at the abuse being heaped on Sean. I kept trying to tell them it was the referee they were shouting at but they said, ‘Mammy, the referee isn’t bald’.’
        – Wife of Meath manager Sean Boylan

‘In the dust of defeat as well as in the laurel of victory, there is glory to be found.’
        – JJ Meagher

“If Wexford Hurling Ltd was a company and we had produced the results that we have over the last 25 years or so, we would have been declared bankrupt long ago”.
        – Phil Murphy, Wexford People

 

“The 1936 Olympics was one of the great historical occasions where vast, competing ideological abstractions are rendered into one iconic event of black-and-white simplicity. Jesse Owens’s victory over Erich Borchmeyer in the 100 metres was a symbolic affirmation of a common humanity over pseudo-scientific categorisation of Nazi racial science. It was only through luck that Owens has been remembered by history. In the season leading up to the games he had been beaten in five out of six meetings by another African-American sprinter, Eulace Peacock. Unfortunately Peacock suffered a hamstring injury just before the Olympic trials and failed to qualify. Owens’s multiple victories — in the 100m, 4x100m, 200m and long jump — certainly irked Hitler, but he was adulated by the Berlin crowd for whom a black man was not so much a threat to the purity of the Volk as a curio who would be safely shuffled out of the country at the end of the games”.
       
– Jonathan Beckman, reviewing ‘Berlin Games: How Hitler Stole the Olympic Dream’, ‘Observer’

“Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV”.
        – Thomas Sowell

‘It’s like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline.’
‘It’s the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia.’
‘The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu.’

        – Sid Waddell, legendary Darts commentator.

 

 

 

More Stupid Quotes.

‘When my sister and I were growing up, there was never any doubt in our minds that men and women were equal, if not more so.’ Former Vice President and global warming alarmist Al Gore speaking to a group of women.

‘I’m very familiar with the importance of dairy farming in Wisconsin. I’ve spent the night on a dairy farm here in Wisconsin. If I’m entrusted with the presidency, you’ll have someone who is very familiar with what the Wisconsin dairy industry is all about.’ Al Gore

Have you been playing a long time?
 
Britain’s Queen Elizabeth  to rock legend Eric Clapton re his guitar playing, at Buckingham Palace reception for British music industry March 2005

For NASA, space is still a high priority.
Dan Quayle another former idiot politician.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Dan Quayle.

I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.
Dan Quayle

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
George W Bush.

I think we agree the past is over.
George W Bush.

Do you have blacks, too.
George W Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso

Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.
Josef Stalin, November 1935

I don’t think about anything too much . . . If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!
Pamela Anderson.

I never knew a guitar player worth a damn.
Vernon Presley, to his young son Elvis, in 1954

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white man came, an Indian said simply, “Ours.”

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing. Anon

‘During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails.’
– AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

‘Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I’m still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.’
– Barbara Boxer, Senator

‘City fathers were hoping to raise enough money to erect a new bronze statue of the Duck of Wellington.’
– BBC commentator

‘You guys line up alphabetically by height.’
– Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

 

Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets.’
– British government report on why cod fish are  disappearing from the North Sea.

‘Where the hell is Australia anyway?’
– Britney Spears

‘Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you will  lost a very important part of your life.’
– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

‘Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.’
– Budapest Zoo sign

‘A period novel! About the Civil War! Who needs the Civil War now — who cares?’
– Herbert R. Mayes Editor of the Pictorial Review , turning down a prepublication offer to serialize Margaret Mitchell’s novel Gone with the Wind, 1936

 


Humour

The Business and the Pope

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken.’ and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined.

2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined.

A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities.

The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!

Now that reminds me.

There were these two priests who rode bikes to church every Sunday. Well one day one of the priests showed up for mass without his bike. The other priest asked where his bike was so the first priest said, ‘I don’t know, but I think it got stolen!’

The other priest said, ‘Well what you do is read off the Ten Commandments, and when you get to ‘Thou shall not steal’ someone will confess to the crime.’

The   two priests met up in the parochial house for lunch and while the parish priest went to get them a drink.  other the priest had noticed his colleagues bike outside.. ‘I see you got your bike back! Did you do what I said?’ the one priest said.

The other said, ‘Well kind of, when I was reading the commandments and I got to Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery, I seemed to remember where I had left it.’

St. Patrick was really English.

These three English guys are out drinking one night and decide that they want to have a fight. They stagger from pub to pub looking for a likely victim to pick on when they come across a single Irishman in this one bar.

‘Watch this.’ Says the first Englishman, heading over toward the Irishman, ‘I hear that St Patrick was a shirt lifter.’

‘Really.’ Says the Irishman, calmly continuing to drink.

With that the second English guy decides to join in, ‘Yeah, and I hear he was a pervert too.’

‘Is that so?’ the still calm Irishman responds.

‘I know how to rile this tosser.’ Says the third Englishman, staggering toward the Irishman, ‘Hey Pat, did you know St Patrick was really an Englishman?’

The Irish guy casually looks up and says, ‘Ye I know. Your friends were telling me.’

Paddy Irishman. Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scotsman.

 An Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman are stranded on a desert island. They are walking along the beach with no food or drink in sight, when they stumble across a golden lamp. The Englishman picks it up and gives it a rub. Suddenly, out comes a genie who says: ‘I will grant you all one wish each’.

So the Englishman says: ‘I’m really missing my family so I would like to be back with them in the green and pleasant land that is England’. So off he shoots back to England.

The Irishman says: ‘yes, I’m really missing my family too so I would like to be back with them in my beloved Emerald Isle.”. So off he shoots back to Ireland.

The Scotsman then says: ‘well, I’m a bit lonely here all by myself so I wish the Englishman and the Irishman were both back here with me!’

Follow the tracks

Three men are stranded in the middle of  giant Canadian national park Forest and they don’t know where they are. They decide that they have to find some food. So the first man leaves and tells the other two that he is going to get some food.

Several Hours later, he comes back with a deer over his shoulder. The other two are amazed and ask him how he got a deer with no weapons. He replies, ‘ I find tracks, I followed tracks, I got the deer’. They both are slightly confused but let it go.

 

1 week later, they have eaten the deer, so they need to get more food. The second guy leaves and says that he is going to get food. He comes back a couple hours later with a elk over his shoulder. The other two ask how he got the elk. He simply replies, ‘I find tracks, I followed tracks, I got an elk’.

5 days later, they have eaten the elk, so they need more food. The third guy, feeling very cocky, thinks to himself, that although he has no hunting experience this is going to be easy since the other two came back with food even though they had no guns.  So he leaves to get some food. The others wait a couple hours… he doesn’t come back. They wait another couple hours, he is still missing.

Finally, after nightfall approaches, they see him coming back. His clothes are torn rags, he is covered in dirt with scrapes, bruises and cuts all over his body. He is bleeding from different gashes in his arms and legs along with one on the side of head. They ask, ‘ What happened!’. He looks at them, wide-eyed and confused, and replies, ‘ I found tracks, I followed the tracks, then I spotted a deer ahead of me on the tracks and then I got hit by a damn train’.

Smart Blonde

A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man.

He wants to test the whole dumb blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. ‘Hey, want to play a game?’ he asks her. ‘No thank you, I just want to take a nap.’ ‘Please, its really easy, all you have to do is answer the questions that I ask you. If you don’t know the answer, then you give me €5, and if I don’t know the answer to your question, then Ill give you €5.’

‘I really don’t want to do this. I just want to take a nap.’

‘Oh but PLEASE.  Okay, how about if I don’t know the answer to your question, I’ll give you €500.’ The blonde woman became interested and decided to play the game.

‘Okay. How many moons does Jupiter have?’ the young man asked. The woman thought for a minute then reached into her purse and took out €5 and handed it to him.   ‘What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four?, she asked him.

The  man, determined not to lose, gets out his laptop and searches all over the Internet for an answer. Flustered and annoyed, the man hand reluctantly handed the blonde €500.

After a few hours, the young man was itching to know the answer to the question. “What was the answer to the your question?.” He asks The blonde woman reached into her purse and handed the man €5.

Two Blind Pilots

Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into t heir magazines, secure in the knowledge that the pl ane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,’ya know, Bob, one of these days, they’re gonna scream too late and we’re all gonna die

 

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