Sarsfields Newsletter

THE SASH 24^th June 2008

The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.

SFL Division 1 Sarsfields 1-10  Monasterevin 0-9

By Liam Moore.

The old adage that games are won in the final minutes of a game was truly turned on it’s head in this Leinster Leader SFL game at Sarsfields Park on Saturday evening, played in extremely difficult conditions, as the Sash won this game in the first fifteen, playing excellent football and putting 1-5 on the score board to Monasterevan’s single point.

In that opening period Eoin O Sullivan and Sean Campbell on the wings were outstanding and corner forward John Geraghty, contributing 1-2, was a constant menace.

However, Monasterevan recovered, mainly due to the controlling performances of Anthony Kavanagh and Wayne Gleeson at midfield and out scored the Sash 0-3 to 0-2 for the remainder of the half, with Kavanagh, Leonard Heavins, Garry Kelly, Shane O Loughlin accounting for their first half scores. Ray Cahill and Paddy Campbell replied for Sarsfields to leave the half time score 1-7 to 0-4 in favour of the Sash.

Monasterevan started the second half brightly and Wayne Gleeson reduced the deficit with a well-taken point. However, John Geraghty and Padraig Brennan replied with points for Sarsfields to put them in to what appeared to be a commanding lead of seven points.

With Kavanagh and Gleeson in total control in the middle of the park Monasterevan did not panic, scoring four unanswered points to reduce the arrears to a single score.

However, Sarsfields secured the insurance point through Padraig Brennan and held on to win on a scoreline of 1-10 0-9.

Both teams are to be commended for a sporting and competitive game, played in a continuous down pour. Sarsfields were well served by a good all round defensive performance in which Martin Dunne excelled. Eoin O Sullivan, Sean Campbell and John Geraghty also impressed, particularly in that excellent first quarter.

For Monasterevan, Anthony Kavanagh and Wayne Gleeson were outstanding in the middle of the park. David Maher at centre back and Leonard Heavins also impressed.

Sarsfields: Gavin Slicker, Steven Usher, Martin Dunne, John Kavanagh, Robert Murphy, Gary White, Niall Hedderman, Alan Barry, Mick Beegan (Ray Cahill 0-1), Eoin O Sullivan (0-2), Padraig Brennan(0-2), Sean Campbell(0-1), John Geraghty(1-3), Paddy Campbell(0-1) Niall Fortune) Ricky Deegan.

Monasterevan: M. Connolly, Mark Cornish, John Dempsey, Kevin Dunne, Jim Gory, David Maher, Adrian Lawless, Anthony Kavanagh (0-2), Wayne Gleeson(0-4), Leonard Heavins(0-1), Shane O Loughlin(0-1), Mark Kelly, Gary Kelly(0-1), Shane Joyce, Paul Kelly.

Referee: Mick Spencer

Task Force Personnel Announced

Rule 11
Following a recent Ard Chomhairle meeting the GAA announced the
establishment of a Rule 11 Task Force under the chairmanship of Danny
Murphy (Ulster Council Secretary), to review the scope and operation of
Rule 11 of the Official Guide to reflect the amateur status of the GAA
and to report with recommendations to Ard Chomhairle by 31 December
2008. The membership of this committee is: Chairman – Danny Murphy
(Ulster Council), Jarlath Burns (Armagh), Jack Devanney (Down), Pat
Henderson (Kilkenny), John Costello (Dublin), Anthony Daly (Clare), John
Costigan (Tipperary), Cathal More (Galway), John Maughan (Mayo) and
Dessie Farrell (Player’s Representative).

Club/County and County/Player Relationships and Club/County Charter
A Task Force under the Chairmanship of Liam O’Neill has been established
to (a) draft a charter, as agreed at Special Congress, to ensure that
the varying needs of club and inter-county teams and players are met and
(b) to establish an appropriate structure in which County Boards and
inter county panels can engage on matters of mutual concern.
The following are confirmed as members of the Task Force: Chairman –
Liam O’Neill (Laois), Michael Burns (Monaghan), Des Cullinane (Cork),
Simon Moroney (Clare), John Murphy (Sligo), Pat Toner (Louth), Dara
McGarty (Sligo), Aidan Brennan (Mayo) and Dermot O’Malley (Dublin).`

TV3 GAA Fixtures

Date Match Competition
29/6/2008 Offaly/Longford/Westmeath v Dublin/Louth LSFC S/F
6/7/2008 Leinster Hurling Final LSHC
13/7/2008 Connacht Football Final CSFC
19/7/2008 Round 1 Qualifiers AIFC
20/7/2008 Ulster Football Final USFC
26/7/2008 Round 2 Qualifiers AIFC
2/8/2008 Round 3 Qualifiers AIFC

On RTE: The Sunday Game Live Fixtures

June 22 Limerick v Clare/Waterford

June 29 Tyrone/Down v Armagh/Antrim/Cavan

July 6 Munster Senior Football Championship Final

July 12 All Ireland Qualifiers

July 13 Munster Senior Hurling Championship Final

July 19 All Ireland Qualifiers

July 20 Leinster Senior Football Championship Final

July 26 All Ireland Qualifiers

July 27 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship Quarter-Finals

Aug 2/3/4 All Ireland Qualifiers

Aug 9 All Ireland Senior Football Championship Quarter-Finals

Aug 10 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 17 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 24 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Semi-Finals

Aug 31 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Semi-Finals

Sept 7 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling

Championship Finals

Sept 14 All Ireland Senior Camogie Final

Sept 21 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football

Championship Finals

Sarsfields Fixtures for the coming week.

Due to the Kildare / Derry Christy Ring Cup game on Saturday in Newbridge at 3.30 there will be no League fixtures this weekend. The Qualifer draw will be held next weekend.

  League Tables below.

GAA and other Quotes.

God would you rise it McMahon! If ‘twas a skirt you’d lift it quick enough!…’ –
A spectator’s words of encouragement at Athenry, in Galway as a player struggled to heroically to lift the sliothar.

“Lock the gates and make the shaggers stay and watch!’ – A shout from Meath football fans at the All Ireland semi-final of 2001, as their team toyed with Kerry, while Kingdom fans fled the terraces in droves.

What would the President want to see me for?’ – Christy Ring, on being told President Hillery wanting to meet him at the first entire production of Val Dorgan’s play called ‘The Hurler’

‘If Dorgan hadn’t been a Glenman I would have walked out’ – Christy Ring on seeing the play ‘The Hurler’

“And Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, I’ll tell ye a little story. I was in Times Square in New York last week, and I was missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newsstand and I said ‘I suppose ye wouldn’t have ‘The Kerryman would ye?’ To which the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said ‘Do you want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?’… He had both… So I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet…’

Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh:

“There were dozens of people coming in with hot-dogs, burgers and trays of beer. I thought that was just an American thing. Maybe they were Americans.”

Jimmy Magee commenting during an Italian /Romanian world cup game.

More Stupid Quotes.

‘And an Mansell comes into the pits, he’s quite literally sweating his eyeballs out.’
– UK Sports coverage on TV

‘We didn’t lose, we weren’t beaten, we just came in second.’
– U.S. commentators, after Canadian Donavon Bailey won the 100 metre gold medal at the 1996 Olympics.

“These two men are going to decide whether Spain or Italy reach the European Semi finals.” RTE sports commentator, Dara Moloney speaking as the Italian goalkeeper kicks the ball out in the last minute of Sundays’s Quarter Final.

‘Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion.’
– Madonna

‘Man shots neighbour with machete.’
– Miami Herald, headline

‘I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.’
– Marilyn Manson, Singer

 ‘Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.’
– Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant.

‘I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.’
– Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if   she would want to live forever.

‘Except for his car, he’s the only man on the track.’
– Murray Walker, ‘The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.’
– Murray Walker, sports commentator

‘Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers.’
– Murray Walker,

‘We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the
opposite’
– Murray Walker,

‘You can’t just let nature run wild.’
– Wally Hickel, former Alaska governor

‘Do Not Place Hand In Fan While Fan Is Running.’
– Warning label on central air conditioning unit

‘My lord, we find the man who stole the mare not guilty.’
– Welsh Jury Verdict

‘Well, that was a cliff-dweller.’
– Wes Westrum, Baseball coach, about a close game

‘We’d like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles.’
– Wesley Bolin, Governor

‘I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.’
– Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball   forward.

‘Not only is there more to life than basketball, there’s a lot more to basketball than basketball.’
        – Phil Jackson

‘The trouble with society today is that parents expect other people to bring up their kids, set the examples… teachers, clergymen, now ball players. If some kid goes off the rails it’s not necessarily because a big-name pitcher gets caught sticking coke up his nose… it’s because he wasn’t taught the difference between right and wrong back in his own house. It’s just too easy to load up responsibility elsewhere.’
        – Marvin Miller, former head of the Major League Baseball Players Association

Sport is how poor kids from poor countries pass through the eye of the needle to riches and recognition.
        – AA Gill, ‘Whatever Happened to the Heroes?’, ‘The Times’

Sport marks out those who strive: it rewards inequality of both talent and application.
        – Kevin Myers, ‘The Irish Independent’

  Humour

A woman bought a new BMW. The car cost a fortune and so she had high expectations of the accessories and equipment. Two days later, she brought it back to the garage, complaining that the radio was not working.

‘Madam,’ said the sales manager, ‘the audio system in this vehicle is state of the art, and completely automatic! All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and that is what it will play!’

She drove out if the garage – somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said, ‘Nelson.’ A crackly voice from within the audio system responded: ‘Ricky or Willie?’.

The woman was astonished. If she asked for Beethoven, the stereo played Beethoven. If she asked for Nat King Cole, she got it.

A couple of months later the woman was waiting at a traffic light enjoying ‘On The Road Again’. The light turned green and she pulled out, only to see an enormous 4×4 vehicle coming from the street she was crossing speeding toward her. The vehicle was obviously not paying attention to the light.

The lady swerved and narrowly missed a collision.

‘Idiot!’ she yelled.

And, from the radio, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, George Bush.’

Questions About the Internet

• Customer: ‘I’d like to buy the Internet. Do you know how much it is?’
• Customer: ‘Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?’
• Customer: ‘I would like an Internet please.’
• Customer: ‘I just got your Internet in the mail today…’
• Customer: ‘I just downloaded the Internet. How do I use it?’
• Customer: ‘I don’t have a computer at home. Is the Internet available in book form?’
• Customer: ‘Will the Internet be open on Memorial Day tomorrow?’
• Customer: ‘We’re getting an Internet from you. Are you guys having any problems sending out your Internets?’
• Customer: ‘The Internet is running too slow. Could you reboot it please?’
• Customer: ‘We’re going on holiday for three months, can you suspend the Internet for us please?’
• Customer: ‘I have a problem with my Internet. Anyone know how to get the screens smaller?’
• Customer: ‘What do you mean I have to pay for Internet access??’
• Customer: ‘I lost my Internet. I switched it off last night and turned on this morning, and it’s gone. I just paid $19.95 a month, and I have lost it already. Can you send me another one?’
• Customer: ‘The Internet site’s giving me a busy signal!’
• Customer: ‘Every time I call you I get disconnected from the Internet!’

Rolls Royce Loan

A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $7,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $7,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.67. The loan officer says, ‘We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $7,000?’

The businessman replied, ‘Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $20?‘

.

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