Sarsfields Newsletter

November 8, 2018

THE SASH Wednesday March 23rd 2011


The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.



Aldridge Cup Semi Final: Maynooth 1-11 Sarsfields 0-13


Tony Ryan


 At the end Maynooth held out for a deserved one point victory over Sarsfields as the Sash sought an equaliser in the dying seconds in the Aldridge Cup semi-final on Saturday afternoon last in Sarsfields Park.

Leading by 1-9 to 0-7 early in the second half, Maynooth seemed on course for a comfortable win. However a rejuvenated Sarsfields scored five points without reply between the 35th minute and the 51st to draw level. Padraig Brennan (0-3 f) and Morgan O’Sullivan (0-2) brought Sarsfields right back into contention. In a frenetic final ten minutes Sarsfields put Maynooth under sustained pressure but Maynooth held their nerve and a point apiece form John McAndrew and David Comerford against the run of play sealed a rare victory for Maynooth over Sarsfields and sent Maynooth into the Aldridge Cup final for the first time.

            In the first half the sides were level three times in all and deadlocked at 0-3 apiece when the decisive score of the half came in the 20th minute. A defensive error by the Sarsfields rearguard allowed the lively Maynooth corner forward Paddy Comerford to catch the ball in behind the full back line and he gave Sarsfields goalkeeper Gavin Slicker no chance with a powerful shot to the lower right corner of the net from close range.

An excellent Padraig Brennan free from 40 metres was sandwiched between a point each from half forward John McAndrew and Paddy Comerford to give Maynooth a 1-5 to 0-4 lead going in at the break.

            On the resumption Maynooth continued from where they had left off before the break with a point immediately from the throw from Paddy Comerford, a source of ever present danger to the Sarsfields defence. Full forward John Comerford then stretched Maynooth’s lead two minutes later, 1-7 to 0-5. Another Padraig Brennan free reduced the deficit for Sarsfields but Maynooth responded with a John McAndrew point.  Then when a superbly struck Pierre Ennis free from about 35 metres with ten minutes gone cancelled out Morgan O’Sullivan’s point from a minute earlier it looked like the pattern of the second half had been set with Sarsfields reigning in Maynooth only for Maynooth to stretch their lead again in response.

             Then came Sarsfields purple patch when they scored five unanswered points and it appeared that Maynooth were about to wilt in the face of the Sarsfields revival and pressure. But Maynooth defended resolutely as Sarsfields defenders like predators closing in on their prey, moved forward to augment the attack in an attempt to pin Maynooth down in their own half and force errors. Maynooth lived dangerously in these dramatic final minutes as they attempted to short pass their way out of danger much to the detriment of the collective blood pressure of their mentors on the sideline. 


After Sarsfields pressure forced Maynooth to concede a ’45 they had the chance to take the lead through their top marksman Padraig Brennan but his shooting which had up until this point been unerringly accurate fell short on this occasion, with Maynooth goalkeeper, Paul Flood rising out of a sea of jerseys to catch the ball on the line before it was eventually cleared via the short pass route. On three occasions Maynooth broke free of the defensive stranglehold to score two points against the run of play in the last ten minutes but it was enough to send them into the final, though the impressive Padraig Brennan capped off an excellent display of marksmanship with the final score of the game and his 9th point in the final minute.


Sarsfields: Gavin Slicker, John Kavanagh, Niall Hedderman, Stephen Ussher, Robert Murphy, Kevin Healy, Aidan McLernan, Caoimghin McDonnell, Morgan O’Sullivan (0-3) Keith Harvey, Padraig Brennan, (0-9, 8f) Keith Browne, John Geraghty, Robbie Confrey, Declan McKenna , (0-1f) Subs: Niall Hedderman for Kevin Healy (34 mins), Ciaran Carey for Keith Harvey (47 mins) Ray Cahill for John Geraghty (50 mins) 


Maynooth: Paul Flood, Adam Gunn, Colin O’Neill, Joe Brennan, Niall Byrne, Alan McAndrew, Kevin Comerford, Michael Bennett, Conor Canning, John McAndrew, (0-4) David Comerford (0-1), Seamus McBride (0-1), Pierre Ennis (0-2f) John Comerford (0-1) Paddy Comerford (1-2) Subs: Niall Naughton and John McAvanie for Niall Byrne and Seamus McBride (35 mins). Conor O’Brien for John Comerford (54 mins) Referee Noel McKenna, Ballyteague.



Feile A Championship:

Sarsfields 0-07 – Celbridge 0-05


Stephen Murphy


            Well done to the Feile U14A team with a hard fought and deserved home win against Celbridge last Sunday week. This ensured that they topped the group, unbeaten, and qualified for the knockout stages of the competition.

            The game was closely fought from the start with James Healy getting Sarsfields off to a good start with a well taken point. Peter Howard scored 3 more from free kicks making it 04 – 01 at half time. The second half was closely fought just like the first. Celbridge were the first to score before Sarsfields replied with 2 more points from Peter Howard to make it 6-2. Celbridge scored 3 more points in the second half before Peter Howard converted another free kick in the dying minutes to make the score 7-5 at the final whistle in Sarsfields favour.

            The entire Sarsfields Team played tremendously well, playing with great fight and spirit. Standout performances from David Marnel, Sean Browne, Eoin O Connor and Gary Maguire kept the Celbridge forwards at bay. Conor Hartley dominated midfield, making some great catches and driving the team on for the entire match. The Sarsfields forwards played very well. Peter Howard was a constant menace despite being marked by 2 men. Eoin Donnelly and Stephen Creaton played extremely well and fought very hard for the team.

            Despite the low score, spectators were treated to a great performance and a great game of football from this young Sarsfields side. They now remain unbeaten in 2011 and hope to progress further in the coming weeks.

Sarsfields Fixtures



Saturday 26th March
Under 10 Boys football
Maynooth v Sarsfields at 3pm
U16 football league Div 1
Round Towers v Sarsfields at 4pm
Under 12 Boys football
Clane v Sarsfields at 4.30pm
Sunday 27th March

Under 14 A Feile Quarter Final
Sarsfields v St Laurences at 10.30am
Minor Football League Division 1
Athy v Sarsfields at 11.45am
28th March
U16 football l eague Div 1
Sarsfields v Kilcock at 6.30pm




Sarsfields Notes


Due to the Leinster leader’s new publication date of Tuesday morning instead of Wednesday all information for the Sarsfields notes must be sent to PRO Tony Ryan before 11am on Friday. Anything that occurs over the weekend, results of matches, match reports etc, can be sent in by 9pm on Sunday night and will be included in the notes for the Nationalist newspaper who as of now are still publicised on Wednesday mornings. 

At the Sarsfields annual awards night held last Saturday week in the clubhouse the following players received their 2010 Players of the year Awards. Senior Player Morgan O’Sullivan. Senior B Ray Cahill.Junior B Niall Murphy. Junior C Pat Finlay. U-21 Darren Somers,Minor Dan Nea. Minor B Sunasi Jinadu. Camogie Pauline O’Callaghan. Hurling Dermot Maguire. Ladies Senior Football Jessica Whelean. Ladies Minor Football Roisin Byrne. Special Achievement Award (Dual Player) Gary Hogan. Special Achievement Award (Management) Conor Earley. Special Achievement Award (Scor) Brenda WalshChampionship medals were awarded to Jack Higgins Cup winners 2009Reserve A Football Championship Winners 2010.Reserve C Football Championship Winners 2010. Ladies Minor Football C-chip winners 2010 Junior Hurling League winners 2009.Intermediate B Hurling Championship Winners 2010.Thanks to Tony Donohoe Trophies, Dave & Joe Catering, our club Bar Staff and the Scor Musicians for their help on the night. 


Sarsfields Intermediate hurlers after their highly successful season last year, winning the Intermediate B Championship will return to training on Tuesday week  March 15th ty 7pm. Any new players or any hurler who has recently come to live in Newbridge and who would be interested in joining a dedicated group of hurlers are very welcome. For more information call Manager Denis Lahart on  Barney Breslin on 087-2299887 or Dinny O’Callaghan on 087-9352741.

The funding deadline for the Floodlights project has now been extended to 31st May 2011. To date the Floodlight Committee have had a fantastic response and Padraig Brennan on behalf of the Committee would like to thank to all who have supported the project so far so far and asks all other members to support the project as best as they can. All contributions, no matter how big or small are significant and very much appreciated. The Floodlight Committee will hold a Table Quiz on Holy Thursday  on 21st April 8.30. Entry per team of four is €40. All proceeds go to the Floodlights Fund.

            Sarsfields membership 2011 is now due. The membership fee for 2011 is unchanged. All player memberships include a player/gym contribution of €30 for juveniles and €60 for adults. Adult Member – €60. Adult Player – €120. Student Player – €70. Unemployed Player – €60.  Retired Member – €10.  Juvenile Member (U6-U9) – €30. Juvenile Player (U10-U18)-€60.  Family Membership – €70 + player/gym contributions for relevant family members.  Players who are not registered members of the club are not insured to train or play. For further details on registration please contact the registrar Kathleen (Ollie) Ryan – 086 2641115.

Lotto results for Monday March 21st.  Numbers Drawn: 6,11,20,22. Lotto value: €12,000. No Jackpot Winner. €100: Alan Fox c/o Coffey’s €40 Each: Paul Mundy c/o Mick Geraghty,  Shelia Geoghegan, c/o Seamus Wilson, Claire Cluxton, c/o Pat Black. €25: Seamus Heffernan, Rathangan


Remaining 2011 Kildare NFL and Hurling Fixtures.

Saturday April 2
NFL Div 1 (Rd 6) 7.30: Dublin v Down

Sunday April 3
NFL Div 1 (Rd 6) (2.30): Monaghan v Kerry, Mayo v Cork, Armagh v Galway

NFL Div 2 (Rd 6) (2.30): Donegal v Antrim, Tyrone v Kildare, Derry v Meath, Sligo v Laois

 Sunday April 10
NFL Div 1 (Rd 7) (2.30): Monaghan v Mayo, Kerry v Down, Galway v Dublin, Cork v Armagh

NFL Div 2 (Rd 7) (2.30): Antrim v Derry, Laois v Donegal, Kildare v Sligo, Meath v Tyrone


Sasrsfields On Facebook 

Sarsfields now have 700 Fans on Facebook.

Sarsfields now has a Facebook Page where all sections can now post information directly relating to games, results events and photos etc. In addition there is a discussion forum. Link to Sarsfields  Facebook page can be found by scrolling down the home page of the Sarsfields website or by Googling Sarsfields GAA Facebook. More Stupid Quotes.


‘The NEA is a terrorist organization.’
– Education Secretary Rod Paige, on the National Education


‘I don’t know much about football. I know what a goal is,
 which is surely the main thing about football.’
– Victoria Beckham 

‘My fear is that the whole island will become so overly
populated that it will tip over and capsize.’
– Rep. Hank Johnson expressing concern during a
congressional hearing that the presence of a large number of
American soldiers might upend the island of Guam


‘We’ve already donated to Haiti. It’s called the U.S. income
Rush Limbaugh, discouraging donations to relief efforts in
  Haiti after the devastating earthquake, Jan. 13, 2010

Sarsfields Floodlights Fundraiser


The first fund raiser for the Floodlights takes place on the 21st April (Holy Thursday) at 8pm. It is a table quiz in the Club. A table of 4 is €40 and there will  raffles with spot prizes.


So here’s another quiz to get you warmed up for the Fundraiser in April.

1.     What is the capital of Slovakia?

2.     Where does the River Isis flow through?

3.     What two rivers meet in Waterford?

4.     What county in Ireland has the smallest coastline?

5.     What river flows through Derry?

6.     What is the currency of Finland?

7.     What ocean is Sierra Leone on?

8.     How many countries does Poland border?

9.     What is a Palindrome?

10. The Nile is the longest river in the world. What is the second longest?  Answers Below.



Bizarre Labels:

1) Peanuts – May contain nuts.

2) Puma shoe box – Average Contents: 2
International Yacht Varnish – Not suitable for marine use.  
3) Birthday Card for a 2 year old – Not suitable for children under 3.

4) Superman outfit – Does not enable wearer to fly.

5) Child’s Scooter – This product moves when used.

6) Meat Product – Oven ready half-wild rabbit.

7) Mozzarella salad bagel. – Keep refrigerated …
   avoid the fridge.

8) Sleeping Pills – Warning, may cause drowsiness.

9) Shop Window Advert
 window in Emsworth, W. Sussex:
   Cleaner Lady Wanted.




True Story 

 Murphy’s Law

If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.
 Murphy’s law has been traced back to a Captain Edward A. Murphy, an American engineer at Muroc, California (later named Edwards Air Force Base).  In 1949 he was working on a project to test the effects of sudden braking.  Time after time his machinery failed, exasperated he said of his technician, ‘If there is any way to do it wrong, he’ll find it.’  John Paul Stapp picked up on Murphy’s phrase and used at a press conference.

As with any good idea, Murphy’s Law can be adapted and extended.

1st Amendment
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

2nd Amendment
If you realize that there are three possible ways in which something can go wrong, and cover them all, then a fourth, unprepared for way, will miraculously appear out of thin air.

3rd Amendment
When something breaks, the parts damaged are in direct proportion to their value.

4th Amendment
The failure does not appear until the machinery has passed its final inspection.

5th Amendment
When you drop a part, it always rolls into the darkest corner.

Last Amendment
Any attempt to print out this copy of Murphy’s law will crash the computer.

 Examples of Murphy’s Law

Your lost needle will be found by your husband when he is walking around barefoot.

The worst pupil in any class will be a school governors’ son.
Uniforms only come in two sizes, too large and too small.
Vital documents that were posted with no errors, will develop errors in the mail.

Murphy’s Law of DIY (Do-It-Yourself )
Any project will require at least two journeys to the hardware shop.

If you need more than one item (pair, four, etc) the probability that one will be damaged or the wrong colour is directly proportional to the desire or need of the object.
You always need more paint.

You never have enough nails, screws or glue.

The likelihood that you will complete a weekend project before the end of the weekend decreases with when you actually start the project.

Therefore: Any plumbing project started after 4pm on Sunday will require an emergency call to the plumber to get the water running again.

To estimate the amount of time needed to complete a project: estimate the amount of time needed, multiply by two and use the next highest unit. Hence: A one hour task will take at least two days to complete.





Irish Job Application

Murphy applied for a fermentation operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the Manager.  When the results were in, amazingly, both men had only one wrong answer.

The manager went to Murphy and said, ‘
Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the American the job.’

Murphy, ‘And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.’

Manager, ‘
We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.’

Murphy, ‘
And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?’

Manager, ‘
Simple. On question number 7 the American wrote down, ‘I don�t know.’ ‘

You put down, ‘Neither do I.’

 Real Notes Sent to Milkmen

These notes were left in milk bottles.

Dear milkman I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday‘s note. I didn’t mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.

When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV’s broken down and I missed last night‘s Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea.

More notes left in milk bottles

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle ?

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.

When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don’t leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

Computer Tech Support Calls

Here are actual calls to computer technical support reps:

Customer: I’m trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn’t work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you’ve got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah….
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven’t got a computer. It’s in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen…..
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it into the computer yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.  Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Laughable Complaints Made By Holidaymakers to Travel Agents

1) I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.

2) It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time – this should be banned.

3) On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.

4) The beach was too sandy.

5) A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

6) We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros [�3.50. $5 USD] from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.

7) No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.

8) It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.

9) The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?

10) We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.
It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.

 Quiz Answers:


  1. Brataslavia is the capital of Slovakia
  2. The Isis river flows through Oxford, England.
  3. The Nore and the Suir rivers meet outside Waterford City
  4. Leitrim has the smallest coastline.
  5. The river Foyle flows through Derry.
  6. The Euro is the currency of Finland
  7. Sierra Leone. The Atlantic Ocean.
  8.  Poland borders 7 countries: Russia, Lithuania, Belarus, Ukraine, Slovakia, Czech Republic and Germany
  9. A palindrome is a word that is spelt the same backwards as frontwards. E.g. Navan.
  10. The Congo is the worlds second largest river.