Sarsfields Weekly Newsletter

November 8, 2018

THE SASH Tuesday October 6th 2008


The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.


 Sarsfields Dethrone Moorefield


Come on the Sash, the three in a row remains intact.

Congratulations to the team and management on their magnificent performance in dethroning Champions Moorefield on Sunday and preventing them from equalling our three Championships in a row.

Never before in our history have we been such rank outsiders in a match against our great rivals Moorefield. From the bookies to the pundits in print and on Radio to Sarsfields and especially Moorefield supporters the received wisdom was that Sarsfields didn’t stand a chance. It was a matter of damage limitation; could we hold them to four or five points. Never before in our history was it so important to beat Moorefield. The players to a man rose magnificently to the occasion. Sunday was a day that will go down as a highpoint in Sarsfields history.

            In hindsight we were overly pessimistic while the Moorefield supporters were way over confident with many of them talking of giving Sarsfields a thrashing and looking ahead to the first Round of the Leinster Championship. It’s rumoured that they already had 3 in a row banners ready to go up in the town.

Sarsfields/Moorefield games have a dynamic of their own and form as in the case of Sunday doesn’t count for much. Apart from the motivation of keeping our three in a row intact the players were motivated by the knowledge that they performed below par in last year’s Final. Irrespective of what happens in this year’s Final the future is bright with our Minors also in the Final. Hopefully we can go one better than last year and do the treble of Senior Minor and U21 a feat last achieved in 1993. All together now. Up the Sash, Up the Sash, Up the Sash. How’s that for 3 in a row?


Garda Alert

The Gardai are questioning 15 suspects from the bottom half of Newbridge wearing green tops regarding the disappearance of a local girl who was last seen in Sarsfields Clubhouse on Sunday night singing ‘2 out of 3 aint bad’ before disappearing. She has been named locally as Triona Row from the Moorefield area of the Town.


2009 All-Ireland Hurling and Football Draw


The draw for the 2009 Provincal Championships will be held tomorrow (Wed) at 7.30 on RTE 2. Sean Boylan today announced his panel for the compromise rules series. No Kildare players have been chosen.



Leinster GAA News

GAA Announce Details of National Student Bursaries Scheme

The GAA today unveiled details of their National Bursaries scheme for students attending Higher Education colleges as part of its ongoing commitment to Player Welfare. The scheme, which is now in its second year, will be open to members of the Association who are attending a full-time Higher Education course (except those who hold another GAA-related or college scholarship/bursary) and who are active participants in their Higher Education club.  

Such students may often feel the necessity to work during their college years, but these grants will now allow them to work with their College GAA Club in a variety of areas without having to find work outside the college

Speaking today, the GAA President Nickey Brennan said: “It is envisaged that recipients will be selected on the basis of their playing commitment and administrative or coaching commitment to the college club. 20% of all awards in each province each year will be granted to students excelling in the areas of coaching and administration.” The President went on to pay tribute to the voluntary work of students with their College GAA Clubs and said that the bursary scheme would assist students, who might otherwise have to work to meet the costs of their education, in devoting more time to the promotion of Gaelic games in their respective colleges.

It was confirmed that the Bursaries will be administered by the respective Provincial Councils and that  applications for the scheme will be considered by a sub-committee in each province, which will include representatives nominated by the Provincial Council and representatives of Comhairle Ard-Oideachais/ Higher Education colleges.

It was also confirmed that in total, the GAA would be investing €260,000 in the scheme this year, with the Provincial Councils contributing €155,000 of this amount and the balance coming from central resources.
Each bursary granted will be for €1000/£800 and payment will be made annually in two instalments of €500/£400. Further information and application forms for this year’s scheme are currently available to download from, the various GAA Provincial Council websites and offices and from the Higher Education Colleges website All completed forms should be returned to the relevant Provincial Council and the closing date for application will be November 1st 2008.


Weaker counties miss plot in rule changes

By Eugene McGee

Monday October 06 2008

I have never ceased to be amazed that some so-called weaker counties in
football pay so little attention to improving themselves, and
yesterday‘s Special Congress reinforces this.

About half the 32 counties can be described as weak in football terms in
that they hardly ever win a title of any significance except for the odd
sortie through the qualifiers if the draw suits them.

Yesterday motions were passed to eliminate offences in football which
are described in the new sanitised language of the GAA as ‘highly
disruptive’. To most GAA fans they are simply dirty and/or dangerous.

These football delicacies include late tackling, tripping, pulling down
opponents, trying to behead a player with an arm-lock, wrestling an
opponent to the ground or talking aggressively to a match official.

Undoubtedly all these fouls and many others like them are destroying the
free-flowing nature of football and help to undermine all the great work
achieved in coaching in recent years.


However, the latest proposal to deal with these unseemly actions has
more far-reaching impact than might be seen at first glance. The
intention is to penalise the individual player with a yellow card
followed by the player being banned for the remainder of the game but
replaced by a sub.

Which is where the weak counties come into play — or at least it should
if those counties had real interest in their own progress. If, for
example, four players are sent off in this way and replaced, this
immediately punishes a weak county more than a stronger one simply
because the quality of subs on the bench for a weak county is much
poorer than for the stronger one.

Just imagine Kerry playing Clare as happened this year. If Clare were
forced to lose four players to new-fangled yellow cards their team would
be seriously damaged as the subs are unlikely to match their first 15.
But if Kerry lost four then the subs would be almost as good as, or
better than, some of those who had been banished by the referee.
Therefore there is an in-built injustice against weaker counties by this
form of enforcing justice.

A similar situation occurred some years ago when it was decided to
increase the number of substitutions from three to five. Again the
Clares of this world would not have anything like as strong a reserve
panel as Kerry and therefore the stronger counties can reap a far
greater reward from their substitutions.

There have been numerous examples of this in recent years but strangely,
as far as I can gather, hardly any of the weaker counties used that
argument to oppose the addition of the five subs when it went to

Three is an element running through some weaker counties, or at least
county board officials in these counties, which says that you must never
admit you are actually weaker than anybody. You must perpetuate the myth
that on any given day your county is capable of beating the biggest team
in the land. It is an admirable notion of course but no more than that
and one has only to examine the heavy beatings many weak counties have
received over the years to remember that.

The best example of how weaker counties live in a dream world came with
the arrival of the Tommy Murphy Cup. This was a serious attempt to
provide a meaningful competition for the teams in the bottom half of the
32 counties, and London.

It was meant to start off with half that number graded by the national
league tables but had it developed well it could have formed the basis
of a second-tier, 16-team All-Ireland championship with the final played
in conjunction with the All-Ireland final.

Straight away, and despite the success of the first year’s competition,
a series of counties set about demolishing it.

All sorts of insults were hurled at the competition and after a few
years it died a miserable death despite providing some wonderful finals,
such as the Wicklow-Antrim game in 2007.

It became clear that many weaker counties regarded it as a stigma to be
placed in what was the secondary championship.

They all wanted to live the myth of being capable of winning the Sam
Maguire Cup if things went right for them — or perhaps if a series of
miracles landed at their door.

The reality is that over the past 50 years 21 counties have failed to
win the Sam Maguire Cup; 10 of these have not even won a provincial
senior title.

Between them these 21 have won a meagre dozen or so provincial
championship titles, which is about a 1.1pc success rate.

Despite that, officials in those weak counties made no attempt to use
the Tommy Murphy Cup as a the foundation for a high profile second-tier
All-Ireland championship in which the majority of the participants would
have a reasonable change of success, as opposed to the present system
where they have hardly any.

In most cases officials have little or no desire to have a meaningful
subsidiary championship, as happens in most sports around the world.
Instead, county boards prefer to concentrate on their own club
competitions and the same applies with county players in some weaker
counties. The manner in which the increase of five subs from three was
rubber-stamped by weak counties was a typical example of how little they
are not really interested in fighting their corner against the strong
counties instead of being mere canon-fodder.

There was a mistaken belief that the arrival of the All-Ireland
qualifiers would help the weaker counties but that was never the case.
Instead the strong counties became stronger, happy in the knowledge they
would get a second chance at the All-Ireland. All the weaker counties
got in most cases was a second chance to get another hammering.

Leinster GAA News

 New charter for managers

By Eugene McGee

 For the first time since the team manager concept was developed by Kevin
Heffernan and Mick O’Dwyer in the 1970s there are moves afoot to bring
this species into the rest of the GAA fold. Up to now the term team
manager was never mentioned in GAA rulebooks. As the power of the
manager grew and grew over the last 30 years many of them developed into
the most important men in county GAA structures, better known and more
powerful than even county board chairmen or secretaries.

Amazingly, for all that time there was no attempt to have managers as a
category covered by basic GAA rules in the same way as players and
elected officers are in clubs and county boards.

This has led to massive changes in the way things are done in the GAA,
mainly regarding the control which some managers exerted over club
fixtures between May and September. While many county boards drew up
elaborate annual fixture calendars at the start of the season, these
were often blown to smithereens when the county manager started getting
club championship games called off to facilitate the county team.

As a result, we have a common situation every year where the first round
of club county championships may be played in April or May but then, as
the county team wins a few matches, everything is shelved at the request
of the manager, often until as late as September or October.

This means club players who are not on the county panel but have a
county panel member in their ranks can be left without a championship
match for three or four months.

In all my time getting messages from readers this has been the single
greatest complaint from players in all parts of Ireland and it has
reached a critical level in some counties.

For this and many other reasons GAA president Nickey Brennan set up a
task force to bring county managers into the GAA administration as a
category in their own right. Presidential candidate Liam O’Neill is
chairman and the members are: Michael Burns (Monaghan), Simon Moroney
(Munster Council sec), Pat Toner (Louth), Dermot O’Malley (Dublin), Des
Cullinane (Third Level), John Murphy (Sligo), Aidan Brennan (Mayo) and
Dara McGarty (GPA Officer). Their remit is to examine club/county and
county/player relationships and their proposals, due to be presented at
the Special Congress on Saturday, are certainly interesting.

Under the title ‘Team managers’ Charter’, several controls are proposed
to ensure that club players get a fair crack of the whip. County panels
will be limited to 30 at all times. Panels for league games will be 24.
Managers will commit to agreeing a schedule for the release of all
county players and panelists for training with their clubs. County
training will not be allowed interfere with this arrangement.

County chairmen and secretaries will meet with the manager and work out
the club training programme for the year allowing for county team
training, matches etc. Postponements of club matches will not be allowed
except for exceptional cases, such as the county team being in a replay.

There are also published rules for the needs of the county manager to
ensure ‘fair and reasonable’ access to county panel players. This is
meant to ensure that county boards provide all the facilities needed for
modern county teams.

The charter also re-emphasises the authority of county boards to manage
the affairs of the county and the county teams. For example, team
managers must get the approval of the board for any extra financial
expenditure for the county team. All fundraising for county teams,
including supporters’ clubs, will be referred by team management to the
county treasurer and board for approval.

The team manager will have to notify the county secretary five days in
advance of a game of the team selection. County chairmen will have to
agree, in consultation with new team managers, to have all the required
backroom staff available to the county teams.

The charter makes it clear that this reflects the importance of
inter-county players to their clubs, their fellow club players and their
status as role models in their local communities.

Team managers agree to comply with the requirement to actively promote
observance by inter-county panel members of their club obligations. Team
mentors with underage teams shall be aware of their responsibilities
with regard to alcohol. This charter is to be signed by the team manager
and the county board chairman and secretary.

This is a significant proposal for the GAA as it wrestles with the power
of managers and the decimation of club games in summertime, among other
things. It could be a lot stronger and the abuse of money in relation to
managers’ illegal payments will not be stopped by this.

The restoration of parity between clubs and county teams is the most
important thing in this charter and for that alone it is worth having.






Leinster GAA News

Launch of GAA Games Development Educational Resources

As part of the GAA’s Games Development Programme a number of significant new resources were launched in the theatre of the GAA Museum on Tuesday, September 30th.

Céim ar Aghaidh/Step Ahead – Junior Cycle Resource

Céim ar Aghaidh/Step Ahead is a comprehensive cross-curricular resource based on the theme of the GAA and integrating all subjects of the Primary School curriculum. Schools have already received middle cycle and senior cycle packs in recent years. The junior cycle pack, launched today is the third edition of the resource.  

The World of Gaelic Games

The World of Gaelic Games is a children’s dual language book aimed at 8-12 year olds and telling the stories of newcomer children and Diaspora children who are playing Gaelic games. It is the culmination of a project involving a number of schools and pupils all over the country and was supported by The Office of the Minister for Integration, the Inclusion and Diversity Service, Northern Ireland and the National Action Plan against Racism.

GAA Co-ordinator of Gaelic games in Primary Schools, Micheál Martin has overseen the development of both projects.

Speaking at the launch, GAA President, Nickey Brennan, said:
‘I am very pleased to formally launch the Third Edition of our Céim ar Aghaidh/Step Ahead resource for Primary Schools. The Middle and Senior cycle resources have been extremely well received by Primary teachers and the INTO and the launch of the Junior cycle programme completes the set.’ He continued: ‘I wish to thank the support of the Office of the Minister for Integration, the Inclusion and Diversity Service, Northern Ireland and the National Action Plan against Racism for their assistance in completing The World of Gaelic Games. I welcome Ministers Conor Lenihan and Catríona Ruane to today‘s launch’.  

Minister Conor Lenihan commended the GAA for its excellent North-South initiative and commented that ‘sport can break down barriers and ‘The World of Gaelic Games’ shows how young pupils from all over the world have engaged in our national sports.’
Catríona Ruane, Minister for Education, Northern Ireland said: ‘Everything we can do to support young people in being active will help us to start addressing issues they face and help them have a healthy lifestyle. These resources are a positive way of supporting this in our schools’


Eric Thorpe Returns in Triumph

Sarsfields most famous son, Eric Thorpe Mr Sarsfields and descendent of Patrick Sarsfields has returned in triumph from Hollywood. Eric who has just completed filming the blockbuster ‘The extraordinary Life and Times of Eric’ jetted in at the weekend to see his team defeat the Moors. “I’m thrilled with the result. There were to many doom and gloom merchants in the club coming up to this game. That’s why I appointed myself director of football two months ago. As they say in the States the buck stops with me. I said that we would beat the old enemy at my appointment press conference. I laid the battle strategy out for my general Paul and he followed it to a tee while I was away on location in Hollywood. Not only have I prevented the encampment at the edge of the Curragh from encroaching any further into Sash territory but I have driven them back into Allen Parish where they belong. I am now going to set up Sarsfields Hall of Fame awards. I will be the first recipient for my achievements with my team this year. This will be held on County Final night and I will be expecting a big crowd to honour me.” Asked if he would be returning to Hollywood Eric Replied that he would be having some downtime in Newbridge after his hectic filming schedule. Uma misses me terribly already. We speak on the phone every day. I’m going to spend some time now with my beloved greyhounds. Ciaran Carey did a great job training them while I was away but I wasn’t  happy with one of his appointees, a fellow by the name of Scuthie Brown. He’s too fat to be walking my greyhounds. I’m putting him on a diet. He’s getting greyhound food from now to slim him down.





More Stupid Quotes.

‘Reports are sketchy, but we have heard that in the first heart transplant operation in Belgium, both patient and donor are doing fine.’
– Radio news announcer

‘I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor. The tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.’
– Ray Forsythe, Clemson recruit, who was ineligible as a freshman   because of academic requirements

‘While sitting in a tavern, someone hit my nose from behind.’
– reason given for insurance claim

‘I didn’t accept it. I received it.’
– Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to former President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.

‘Mr. Milosevic has to be careful.  The calendar is ticking.’
– Richard Haas, NBC News consultant

‘Solutions are not the answer.’
– Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

‘I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.’
– Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

‘Hi I’m Dean White, Dick, of the college.’
– Richard (Dick) White, Duke University academic Dean introducing himself at a faculty dinner.

‘Danger Slow Men At Work’
– Road sign in Brunei

‘Permitted vehicles not allowed.’
– Road sign on US 27

‘I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.’
– Ron Atkinson

‘Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he’s pretty old. He’s thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is.’
– Ron Fairley, Giants broadcaster

‘The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing Nation.’
– Ron Pickering

‘Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running.’
– Ron Pickering

‘Facts are stupid things.’
– Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President




Strange News


Bandits Serve Customers While Robbing Coffee Shop

A man and a woman robbed a Starbucks coffee shop in Monroe,
Washington but were disappointed when they noticed that there
was not much cash to be taken.  They decided to stay and serve
customers through the drive-thru to make some more money.  The
bandits came in when a employee of the store let a young woman
come inside to use the bathrooom in the early morning before the
store opened.  However a man and a woman both came in and
demanded that the employees give them access to the safe.  The
employees were then ordered to make beverages for the customers
while the bandits served the customers.  They did this for about
half an hour and then left and then left witht the cash.  A
spokeswoman for Starbucks is offering a $1,000 reward to anyone
that can help them find who the suspects are.

Judge Changes Mind Over Golf Ball Thief’s Sentence

A judge changed his mind over a six month jail sentence that was
given to a man for stealing golf balls. John Collinson, with the
aid of a helper, was found with 1,158 golf balls which they had
collected from the bottom of a lake at a Golf Club in England.
Collinson felt that it was not theft as they were at the bottom
of the lake and did not belong to anyone.  It has been said that
the value of the golf balls could be anywhere from 50 to 500
pounds depending on the condition of the balls. Collinson has
been in this ‘business’ for the last ten years.  He has been
collecting them and re-selling them to people.  He had to spend
nine days in jail, and then was released on bail.  The judge has
changed his sentence and released him under a discharge with
conditions for the next two years.

Woman Sent To Morgue Alive

An elderly German woman was mistakenly sent the a city morgue
only to die a few days later from the cold.  Police are now
investigating the doctor who pronounced the 72-year-old dead
before she was sent to the morgue. The woman fell down in an old
people’s home and lost consciousness early last month.  The
colour of her skin led the doctor to believe that she was dead

Wedding Jokes – One liners by the famous

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner)

Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.  (Socrates)

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. (Evan Esar)

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Milton Berle)

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (George Burns)

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, ‘There’s water in the carburettor’. I said, ‘Where’s the car?’ She said, ‘In the lake’. (Henny Youngman)

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. (Phyllis Diller)

All marriages are mixed marriages. (Chantal Saperstein)

There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again. (Clint Eastwood)

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. (Henny Youngman)


Prawn, Cod and Shark Saga

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, ‘I’m fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten.’

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, ‘Your wish is granted’ , and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn’t realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the cod again and he thought that perhaps he fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.  Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn’t see his old pal.’ Where’s Christian?’ he asked.’ He’s at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark’ , came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian’s abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, ‘It’s me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.’ Christian replied, ‘No way man, you’ll eat me. you’re now a shark, the enemy and I’ll not be tricked into being your dinner.’

Justin cried back ‘ No, I’m not. That was the old me. I’ve changed.’

Wait for it


‘I’ve found Cod. I’m a prawn again Christian’ .



Shaggy Dog Story

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl’s life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says, ‘You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers, ‘Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl’ .

The man says, ‘But I am not a New Yorker!’

‘Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning, ‘Brave American saves life of little girl’ , ‘the policeman answers.

‘But I am not an American!’ says the man.

‘Oh, what are you then?’

‘The man says: – ‘I am a Saudi!’

The next day the newspapers say, ‘Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.’

Funny Jokes and One-liners from Real Résumés

These jokes are taken from REAL résumés and cover letters and were printed in the Fortune Magazine:

1. ‘I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.’

2. ‘I have lurnt Word for Widows, computor operations and spreasheet progroms.’

3. ‘I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.’

4. ‘Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.’

5. ‘Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.’

6. ‘Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.’

7. ‘It’s best for employers that I not work with people.’

8. ‘Let’s meet , so you can ‘ ooh’ and ‘ aah’ over my experience.’

9. ‘You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.’

10. ‘Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.’

11. ‘I was working for my mom until she decided to move.’

12. ‘Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.’

13. ‘I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.’

14 ‘I am loyal to my employer at all costs….Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail.’

15. ‘I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing. ‘

16. ‘My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.’

True Story

  The following quotes show what people write on their insurance claim forms.  Apparently these are strange but true stories.

Motor Insurance Quotes from Claim Forms

1. ‘I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.’.

2. I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.

3. I collided with a stationary tramcar coming the other way.

4. I consider that neither vehicle was to blame but if either
were to blame it was the other one (Irish).

5. I left my Austin Seven outside and when I came out later to my amazement there was an Austin Twelve.

6. Car had to turn sharper than was necessary owing to an invisible lorry.

7. To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.

8. ‘The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.’.

9. The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intention.

10. The other man altered his mind so I had to run into him.

11. I told the other idiot what he was and went on.

12. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

13. I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian and the old gentleman was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.

14. I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found when I put my head through it.

15. If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.

16. She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.

17. Cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.

18. Three women were talking to each other and when two stepped back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.

19. There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.

20. A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored

Answers to last week’s Brain Teasers

1 A snail is at the bottom of a well 30 feet deep. It crawls 
up 3 feet each day, but at night, it slips down 2 feet. How long 

does it take for the snail to crawl out of the well?

Answer: 28 days. Once it reaches the top, it does not slip down 2 feet


2 Four men and four women are shipwrecked on a desert island. 
Eventually each one falls in love with one another, and is himself 

loved by one person. John falls in love with a girl who is in love 

with Jim. Arthur loves a girl who loves the man who loves Ellen. 

Mary is loved by the man who is loved by the girl who is loved by 

Bruce. Gloria hates Bruce and is hated by the man whom Hazel 

loves. Enigma: Who loves Arthur?

Answer: Gloria Loves Arthur


3 A boy leaves his house one summer day, and began to run 
into the woods to his grandmother’s house which is on the other 

side of the woods. It should also be known that the boy reached 

his grandmother’s house. How far did the boy run into the woods?

Answer: Halfway. Because once you reach the middle, you are then 
running out of the woods


Here is this week’s Brain Teasers

1You want to send a valuable object to a friend. You have a box 
which is more than large enough to contain the object. You have 

several locks with keys. The box has a locking ring which is more 

than large enough to have a lock attached. But your friend does 

not have the key to any lock that you have. Note that you cannot send 

a key in an unlocked box, since it might be copied. How is this done?

2 You have two hourglasses–a 4-minute glass and a 7-minute glass. 
You want to measure 9 minutes. How do you do it?

3 A man meets two men at two doors. A sign above the two doors 
says, ‘One door leads to eternal bliss, while one leads to certain 

peril. One of these men always lies, while one always tells the 

truth.’ You may ask only one question. What question do you ask to 

be certain that you get to the room with eternal bliss?








Answers next week. You can e-mail your answers to the address below and those with the correct answer(s) will have their names published so everyone can see how brainy they are.

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