THE SASH June 10th 2008
The Weekly Online Newsletter of Sarsfields GAA Club.
SFL Division 1 Sarsfields 1-12 Athy 0-8
Sarsfields, continuing to experiment using some players in different positions to their familiar ones had a comfortable seven point victory margin over Athy in Round 12 of the Leinster Leader SFL on Sunday night in Geraldine Park, Athy. Sarsfields got off to flying start with an early goal by midfielder Mick Beegan. Midway through the half they increased their lead to 1-3 to 0-1 before Athy began to settle and turned the first half in their favour firing over 6 unanswered points to lead 7 to 1-3 at the break.
After the break when Sarsfields introduced the heavy artillery; Dermot Earley, Padraig Brennan and Paddy Cambell they began to reassert themselves and with Garry White (0-2) operating at centre half forward took control of the game. Eoin O’Sullivan had an excellent second half scoring 3pts and was Sarsfields scorer in chief with 4 points in total.Ciaran Dempsey (0-1) Paddy Cambell (0-2) and Dermot Early (0-1) helped give Sarsfields an unassailable lead, outscoring Athy 9 to 1 in the second half. Athy’s solitary second half point gives a clear indication of Sarsfields second half dominance.
Sarsfields: Patrick O’Sullivan, Ciaran Carey, Murt Dunne, Niall Hederman, Robbie Murphy Robbie Confrey, Ciaran Dempsey, Michael Beegam, Aidan Mclernan, Gary White, Joe O’Malley John Geraghty, Niall Fortune, Eoin O’Sullivan. Subs: Dermot Earley, Padraig Brennan, Paddy Cambell for Alan Barry, J O’Malley, John Geraghty.(ht)
Referee Denis Lawless
Senior Football League Division 3 Sarsfields 0-4 Moorefield 1-13
Old rivals Sarsfields and Moorefield squared up to each other in Sarsfields Park on Sunday evening with Moorefield running out comfortable winners and gaining a measure of revenge after their loss to Sarsfields in last year’s Championship Semi final. It was a sporting, open game of football with passages of good football, most of it played by Moorefield whose superior fitness began to tell in the second half as they outscored Sarsfields 1-6 to 0-1.
The sides were level on three occasions in the first half before Moorefield’s outstanding half forward Ciaran Corrigan put them into a 0-4 to 0-3 lead in the 20th minute, a lead they never subsequently relinquished. For the remainder of the half the Moorefield midfield pairing of Robbie Delaney and Sean Whyte began to dominate opening up a constant supply line to the forwards. A further point from Ciaran Corrigan and two from Gareth Duffy, one of them on the stroke of half time after great work by Ciaran Corrigan to disrupt a Sarsfields clearance, left Moorefield leading 7-3 at the break. They would have been further ahead only for a spate of wides sandwiches between their 4 points in the last ten minutes.
Moorefield started the second half as they had finished the first. Less than a minute had elapsed after a pass from Robbie Delaney to Ciaran Corrigan resulted in a third point for Corrigan who was a constant threat to the Sarsfields defence along with the recently returned Brian McGrogan and corner forward Gareth Duffy. Sarsfields solitary second half point came in the sixth minute courtesy of a Ray Coleman free after a foul on Conor Walsh. The fact that Sarsfields failed to score for the remainder of the game was a testament to Moorefield’s second half dominance.
Moorefield piled on the pressure as Sarsfields began to visibly wilt in the heat. A point apiece from Corrigan and Duffy left six points between the sides, 0-10 to 0-4. With the momentum now firmly with Moorefield any slim chance of a Sarsfields recovery disappeared with ten minutes remaining when Brian McGrogan gratefully accepted a miskick from the Sarsfields goalkeeper to strike for a goal from close range to put Moorefield 9 points clear 1-10 to 0-4. Substitute Niall O’ Shea scored almost immediately from the kickout. With three minutes remaining Gareth Duffy totted up his personal scoring tally to 4 points with a well taken point before substitute Keith Duane wrapped up proceedings for the evening with a point of his own just before referee Fran Bolger blew the long whistle to leave Moorefield 12 points to the good and Sarsfields with a lot to ponder before the forthcoming championship.
Sarsfields: John Melia, Brendan Tiernan, Niall O’Callaghan, Tadgh O’Riordan, Joe Buckley, Dave Whorriskey, Ed Donahue, Cian Sweeney, Ray Coleman, (0-1) Ross Dunphy (0-1) Pat Finlay, Keith Hedderman (0-1) Darren Cambell, Conor Walsh, (0-1) Subs: Brian Smith for Keith Hederman (42 mins)
Moorefield: Padraig Canavan, Rickey Maguire, Lee Murphy, Niall Whyte, Alan Melia (0-1) Stephen Murray, Robbie Delaney, Sean Whyte, Ciaran Corrigan, (0-4) Brian McGrogan (1-2) Bernard Behan, John Sheehan, Gary Brown, Gareth Duffy,(0-4). Subs: Shane Orrigan for Stphen Murray (20 mins) Keith Duane (0-1) for John Sheehan(26 mins) Martin Murnahan, Niall O Shea, (0-1) Aran Mullins for Gary Brown, Ciaran Corrigan, Brian McGrogan (50 mins)
Referee: Fran Bolger, Athy.
Sarsfields Fixtures for the Coming Week.
SFL Division 1: Saturday June 14th Sarsfields V Kilcullen at 5pm in Sarsfields Park. SFL Division 3: Saturday June 14th Ardclough V Sarsfields at 7pm in Ardclough.
U14:The A team v Clane in Sarsfields and the B team v Rathangan on Sunday next June 15th at 11am
Thursday 19th June Junior Hurling Championship: Sarsfields v Clane in Sallins.
Gardiner says size doesn’t matter as referee row rumbles on
By Colm Keys
GAA officials leapt to the defence of referees last week as a Sunday of criticism from managers and analysts swept the championship into overdrive.
Meath’s collapse against Wexford was underpinned by Colm Coyle’s frank assessment that a Laois referee should not have been appointed to officiate when his own county were awaiting the winners in a semi-final.
Coyle’s former Meath colleague Colm O’Rourke, one of live ‘Sunday Game’ analysts in Ballybofey for the Derry/Donegal Ulster quarter-final, called for ‘big strong men’ to be appointed to handle such matches because they might show a greater tolerance level of physical play.
Later that night, the former Derry player Anthony Tohill suggested on the ‘Sunday Game’ that non-Ulster referees should not be appointed to Ulster championship matches because they were too fussy.
Sligo referee Marty Duffy, who took charge of the game, came under fire from Donegal manager Brian McIver, who claimed Derry got away ‘with a serious amount of charging.’
O’Rourke was critical of how some referees failed to allow a sufficient amount of physical play in games and that perhaps a change in profile of referee might bring a significant change of approach.
The national referees’ spokesman Seamus Gardiner hit back at all criticism yesterday and described O’Rourke’s comments as ‘unfair.’
‘I don’t think size is important in any way to refereeing a game. It’s more important that they show authority, that they are fit and have a good knowledge of the rules.
‘Referees don’t make up the rules as they go along. Some people think they do but they are merely carrying to what is in the rule book,’ he said.
‘It’s difficult enough to get referees, without specifying that they have to be of a certain height or weight,’ he added.
Gardiner pointed to several referees in the past and present like Paddy Collins and Dickie Murphy who have been widely lauded for their ability to referee despite their size.
‘They would not be considered big strong men but they were and are wonderful referees. And there are many more examples.’
Duffy declined to comment on O’Rourke’s assertion that big referees were more suitable to potentially more physical championship games.
Criticism of Duffy’s decision to award a penalty appears to have been wide of the mark, however, as technology shows that Donegal’s Rory Kavanagh had a foot in the square when he was fouled by Kevin McGuckin.
Tohill’s assertion that Ulster referees should always take charge of Ulster games has become a regular chorus from leading figures in the game.
In 2005, the then Donegal manager Brian McEniff made the same point when Maurice Deegan sent off five in an Ulster quarter-final replay in Clones against Armagh. Gardiner says it was at the request of Ulster counties themselves that referees not from the province were introduced because they felt at a disadvantage when they travelled south for games.
‘They felt there were different refereeing interpretations from southern referees when they came down for All-Ireland quarter-finals and semi-finals. It’s ironic that Anthony Tohill should raise this now in that context.’
In response to Coyle’s criticism, Gardiner said the Referees Association had no part in appointments but he felt a referee’s county made little difference to the way he handled a game. GAA president Nickey Brennan refused to be drawn too deeply into the controversy but backed the Referees Appointments Committee, headed up by Mayo’s PJ McGrath, over Deegan’s appointment.
‘They make hundreds of appointments each year and there is rarely a problem with them,’ said Brennan.
Ironically, the only appointments not made by the Referee’s Appointments Committee for All-Ireland finals precludes a referee from the same province as the competing counties from taking charge.
TV3 GAA Fixtures
225,000 TUNE IN TO TV3’S FIRST LIVE GAA CHAMPIONSHIP PROGRAMME
225,000 viewers tuned in to watch TV3’s coverage of their first live GAA
Championship match on Sunday week last, giving the channel a 37.3% share for the
full three hours of the broadcast.
TV3’s clash between Clare and Waterford was the most watched live GAA
match this weekend with the average match time audience (based on
quarter hours 1400-1529) coming in at 314,000.
The audience peaked at 351,000 Individuals between 1500-1514.
‘We are really pleased with the feedback and the reaction that we have
been getting from viewers and fans alike and delighted viewing numbers
were so strong – to have the highest viewed match of the weekend with
our first ever live match is fantastic. We want to ensure that people
enjoy watching the Championship on TV3 and we will ensure that our
fresh, innovative coverage continues for the rest of the season. We are
committed to providing a high quality product not only with Championship
Live but also with our new Thursday night magazine programme
Championship Throw In.
Date Match Competition
22/6/2008 Laois v Wexford LSFC S/F
29/6/2008 Offaly/Longford/Westmeath v Dublin/Louth LSFC S/F
6/7/2008 Leinster Hurling Final LSHC
13/7/2008 Connacht Football Final CSFC
19/7/2008 Round 1 Qualifiers AIFC
20/7/2008 Ulster Football Final USFC
26/7/2008 Round 2 Qualifiers AIFC
2/8/2008 Round 3 Qualifiers AIFC
On RTE: The Sunday Game Live Fixtures
June 14 Dublin/Westmeath v Wexford
June 15 Offaly/Laois v Kilkenny, Galway/Roscommon v New York/Leitrim
June 21 Fermanagh/Monaghan v Donegal/Derry
June 22 Limerick v Clare/Waterford
June 29 Tyrone/Down v Armagh/Antrim/Cavan
July 6 Munster Senior Football Championship Final
July 12 All Ireland Qualifiers
July 13 Munster Senior Hurling Championship Final
July 19 All Ireland Qualifiers
July 20 Leinster Senior Football Championship Final
July 26 All Ireland Qualifiers
July 27 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship Quarter-Finals
Aug 2/3/4 All Ireland Qualifiers
Aug 9 All Ireland Senior Football Championship Quarter-Finals
Aug 10 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling
Championship Semi-Finals
Aug 17 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling
Championship Semi-Finals
Aug 24 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football
Championship Semi-Finals
Aug 31 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football
Championship Semi-Finals
Sept 7 All Ireland Senior Hurling Championship and Minor Hurling
Championship Finals
Sept 14 All Ireland Senior Camogie Final
Sept 21 All Ireland Senior Football Championship and Minor Football
Championship Finals
GAA And Other Quotes.
‘You can’t win derbies with donkeys’ – Babs Keating before Tipp played Cork in 1990
‘Sheep in a heap’ – Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998.
‘They have a forward line that couldn’t punch holes in a paper bag’ – Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team
. ‘Babs Keating ‘resigned’ as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him’ – Offaly fan in 1998
‘And as for you. You’re not even good enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers’ – Former Clare mentor to one of his subs after a heavy defeat
‘It wasn’t your fault. It was the feckin’ eejits that picked ya.’
– Anonymous fan, giving some faint praise to a player
‘There are quite a few black and white pictures up there (in the clubhouse), it wll be nice to move them down the wall now.’
– St Vincent’s captain Mossie Quinn, after their first All Ireland Club title in 32 years
‘I find it hard to see how my northern cousins could get so worked up about counties created by British imperialists.’
– Colm O’Rourke, speaking on Ulster TV
‘1-5 to 0-8.. well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that’s level scores in any mans language
‘Sean Og O’ Hailpin…. his father’s from Fermanagh, his mother’s from
Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold of hurling.
Micheal O Muircheartaigh
‘ Francie Bellew is so slow, my mother has arthritis in one hip but do you know what, I think she’d be faster than him !!! Pat Spillane
“Hurry up and make a decision, ref. I have to go home to bale the hay”!
The late Michael Young during a club game in Derry as the ref dithered
about whether to award a penalty.
From Irish Independent after the Gardai raided a massage parlor in
Rathmines. This is the arresting Garda’s testimony:
‘When we entered the premises the defendant was naked and in an aroused
state. When asked the reason for his presence at the establishment, he said
he was being treated for a GAA injury.’
Thanks to Dema Houlihan for some of the above
Eamon Dunphy
Before the Liverpool .v. Real Betis game at Anfield when Roy Keane announced his retirement from football Bill O’Herlihy stated that in the column about Roy: City journalist called him a thug. Dunphy continued roaring at Bill asking him who’s column it was. Bill replied it was on the back page of the Sunday Times. ‘Look at it’ he told Eamon. Eamon still pestered him asking who wrote it. Bill replied ‘I can’t remember his name’. Eamon continued saying:
‘I’ll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he’s the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one’.
On Christiano Ronaldo:
the way Ronaldo ‘clicks his heels’, is the ‘most wicked thing in the game.’
‘a simple cheat’
‘Poof ball’
When they ran on to the field it was like watching a tribe of white orcs on steroids.
– Michael Laws, New Zealand sports columnist, describing the English rugby team
Paris hasn’t witnessed anything this ugly since Charles Laughton starting ringing the bells on top of Notre Dame Cathedral.
– Martin Johnson, after England KO France from WC07, ‘The Telegraph’
Lions tours used to represent the apogee in the kind of behaviour usually regarded as hooliganism if perpetrated by the lower orders but high jinks if it involves young gentlemen of quality. The most famous incident involved Ulster and Irish hard man and Lions captain Willie John McBride, who was being warned by a nervous hotelier in some benighted Afrikaans town that he would send for the police. McBride’s response came in the slowest of drawls: ‘Will there be many of them?’
– Matthew Engel, ‘The Financial Times’
To describe some of these substances as performance-enhancing is pushing at the boundaries of credibility. How much coffee do you have to drink to shave a hundredth of a second off your 100 metres time? The drugs they legitimately hunt down should not be those that enhance performance but those that endanger health. That should be the only criterion because, in one small way or another, legal supplements, new training tricks and a scientifically rigorous diet all enhance performance. What, really, is the difference.
– Kevin Mitchell, in Ireland’s ‘Sunday Independent‘
More Stupid Quotes.
‘Solitude is a silent storm that breaks down all our dead branches; yet it sends our living roots deeper into the living heart of the living earth.’
– Kahlil Gibran
‘Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.’
– Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
‘If I had a choice of having a woman in my arms or shooting a bad guy on a horse, I’d take the horse. It’s a lot more fun’
– Kevin Costner, Actor
‘We talked five times. I called him twice, and he called me twice.’
– Larry Bowa, California Angels coach
‘I’ve always thought that under populated countries in Africa are vastly under polluted.’
– Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries.
‘If you or any member of your family has been killed…’
– Lawyer commercial on TV, Orlando, Florida
‘We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?’
– Lee Iacocca, former Chrysaler Chariman
‘It is now 22 minutes past 8:30.’
– Lynn Russell, WKAT radio disc jockey
‘Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.’
– Mariah Carey, Pop Singer
‘If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.’
– Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
‘If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.’
– Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
‘I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right’
– Marlon Starling
‘Okay, everyone, now inhale… and then dehale!’
– Maury Wills, Los Angeles Dodgers captain, leading his teammates through warm-up calisthenics
‘It’s like when I buy a horse. I don’t want a thick neck and
short legs.’
– Mickey Rourke, Actor, describing what he wants in a woman.
‘I’d rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction’ when I am forty-five.’
– Mick Jagger, Pop Singer, before he turned 45
Humour
Strange Questions from Lawyers
- You were there until the time you left, is that true?
- The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
- Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
- Did he kill you?
- How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
- Were you present when your picture was taken?
- Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
- Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
- How many times have you committed suicide?
Nothing But The Truth
Clerk: Please repeat after me: ‘I swear by Almighty God…’
Witness: ‘I swear by Almighty God.’
Clerk: ‘That the evidence that I give…’
Witness: That’s right.
Clerk: Repeat it.
Witness: ‘Repeat it’.
Clerk: No! Repeat what I said.
Witness: What you said when?
Clerk: ‘That the evidence that I give…’
Witness: ‘That the evidence that I give.’
Clerk: ‘Shall be the truth and…’
Witness: It will, and nothing but the truth!
Clerk: Please, just repeat after me: ‘Shall be the truth and…’
Witness: I’m not a scholar, you know.
Clerk: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: ‘Shall be the truth and…’
Witness: ‘Shall be the truth and.’
Clerk: Say: ‘Nothing…’.
Witness: Okay. (Witness remains silent.)
Clerk: No! Don’t say nothing. Say: ‘Nothing but the truth…’
Witness: Yes.
Clerk: Can’t you say: ‘Nothing but the truth…’?
Witness: Yes.
Clerk: Well? Do so.
Witness: You’re confusing me.
Clerk: Just say: ‘Nothing but the truth…’.
Witness: Is that all?
Clerk: Yes.
Witness: Okay. I understand.
Clerk: Then say it.
Witness: What?
Clerk: ‘Nothing but the truth…’
Witness: But I do! That’s just it.
Clerk: You must say: ‘Nothing but the truth…’
Witness: I WILL say nothing but the truth!
Clerk: Please, just repeat these four words:
‘Nothing’, ‘But’,’The’, ‘Truth’.
Witness: What? You mean, like, now?
Clerk: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
Witness: ‘Nothing. But. The. Truth.’
Clerk: Thank you.
Real Headlines
American Comedian Will Rogers once said, ‘All I know is what I read in the papers’. Unfortunately, given tight deadlines and constraints of space, the headline writers do not always get it right. The following actual newspaper headlines demonstrate the point…
- Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
- Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
- Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- House passes gas tax onto senate
- Stiff opposition expected to coffin less funeral plan
- Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
- Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Milk drinkers are turning to powder
- NJ judge to rule on nude beach
- Farmer bill dies in house
- Iraqi head seeks arms
- Panda mating fails – veterinarian takes over
- Organ festival ends in smashing climax
- Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
What is Politics?
A little boy went to his dad and asked, ‘What is politics?’
The Dad thought for a while, and then said, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it like this. I’m the breadwinner of the family, so you could call me Capitalism. Now think about your mum – she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. No your mum and I, we’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll consider you to be the people. Nanny works very hard, so we’ll call her the Working Class. And lastly, your baby brother – let’s call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense!’
So the little boy went off to bed and spent all evening thinking about what his dad had told him.
Later that night, the boy heard his baby brother crying, so he got up to check on him. He found that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy went into his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he went instead to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he looked through the keyhole and to his surprise saw his father in bed with the nanny. He gave up trying to wake anyone and went back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy said to his father, ‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.’
The father replied, ‘Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’
The little boy said, ‘Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo.’
The Magician and the Parrot
A magician needed a break from the stress of city living, and so took a job on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The pay was average, but the perks were good, and as the audience would be different each week, the magician didn’t have to practice to hard: he could repeat the same tricks every week.
However, over time, a small problem developed. The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week, and began to understand how the magician did each trick. The parrot began squawking during the show…
‘Look, it’s not the same hat’…
‘He’s hiding the flowers under the table’…
‘Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?’ …
The magician was furious, but, of course, he couldn’t do anything about it. The captain would not have been happy if anything had happened to his parrot.
One day the ship that the magician was working on ran into trouble. After running into rocks near Jamaica, the ship tragically sank. There were few survivors.
As it happened, the magician found himself sharing a piece of wood floating in the Caribbean Sea with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, and neither uttered a word for many days.
Finally, the parrot broke the silence:
‘OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?’
Contributors Required
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